______+[×].dårk.påssíøn.[×]+

what is this farking job???

2005-01-15T21:10:00.000+08:00

Code red operation:what is this farking job???

Today is my second day of my job.....so tired...one of the fewest time realising that my bed is the most comfortable bed in the world.I went and take a look what time is it....WTF!!!SO FAST!!! 5.25am liao.....sianzzz....I still want to sleep sia...but money keep on floating in my mind....haizzz....no choice....the energy of money make my body function normally...tiaozzzz...no choice la actually....work is like that....

I went to chee hau bus stop there....waa kao...he still haven come down and bus come liao so I leave without him......still feel like sleeping.....haizzz....then reach there work....waa bang....sent me to power up department....I go sit there not even 20 minutes....my eye want to close up liao....and my head is dropping lower and lower....I keep on struggling to raise my head but finally for dunno how long I no longer feel sleepily.....I sit there for the whole bloody DAY!!!My butt turn numb and my hand are tired....and in the afternoon I want to sleep again....haizzz.....me feel so terrible...then got a grandma wearing in home clothes appear in front of me....I wonder who is it....waa bang...even customer ned to wear the uniform sia.....then the next moment...there a shout...I turn and see.....I was surprise...that old nanny is scolding the supervisor......I ask who the fark is that granny...they tell me is the boss.....tiaozzzz....no comment....I wonder she belong to wat car company one....so noisy.....even her shout can drown away all other machinery noise.....what a lousy car engine.....and she continue shout here and there.....cant stop.....waa bang le.....

While doing power up,there a stamping required....I stamp her and there continously....na bei....stamp until like shit....had to redo again and even colleague complain to me......haizzzz...my eye now really is bai tio stamp liao.....all day looking at the computer screen and now also the same....dun even feel like seeing the monitor when I return home.....so sianzzz.......during the day Chee hau really talk cock....keep on talking about himself and what will he gain weight anot.....even in group he still say only himself....everyone was bored with his accompany and am I.....some even hated to be with him....he never even think before he talk and worst is he very thick skinned.....I really dunno how to say him.....haizzz....no wonder why 2year ago...the whole 4c revoult against him......even I am part of the organisation.....

Me now dunno how to say him.....sianzzz.......I will quit this job on the 6of feb and then buy PS2 and celebrate with jereld.....yeah!!!Currently he the closest brother to me....his mind are simple and have the same loyalty with me....such character are actually hard to find.....he is not my real brother but he really treat me as a blood brother....so do I....his faith is uncompare to the rest of the brothers........yes..there are many brother who are loyal to me but not as strong as him.....oh well....it is quite a happy thing to me......hahaz

**stars**
twlight stary of dark night,
sliverish dimming light,
dancing round the crescent,
lovely song sing together,
a night that shine on everyone,
blessing in their dream,
bright crescent similing moon,
take me to your paradise,
for I never want to return home,
so do anyone leaving this land,
the land of happiness and wonder..............

composer:kaizhi

reporting time entry:9.50pm(15/01/05)

the first day of my 3rd job.......

2005-01-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

code blue:Reopening......

Finally my blog reopen.....when I am free...I will create a new blog webbie link to this past 2004 diary of mine.......I will then open all my entries in just a single page.....sound funny right?haha
ok....during these few days when my blog are down....I do remember that each person had it own view........I cant blame a person who doesnt understand my character well and brand me as a bad guy.....fark!!!I hate people who are unreasonable and sprout nonsense................haizzzz.....what a misunderstanding...and an irony ending......going so smooth yet end in such tale of horror.......
I begin my search of my job....hunting high and low and went to several place but in vain....finally I give up during that night....before I went to sleep....someone call me....chee hau tell me got lobang....I really is what the fuck.....If I know I should have stay at my house better wait for lobang instead of going out searching for job....but never mind...me happy....yesterday I went out with hou yi....we met jian hui....from the conversation...I found out that bryant was having a face surgery....gosh!!.....Am I dreaming???hahazz

Now very tired so I cant really say out everything....I was very sad when I realised I can tattend my 6th brother gathering....although to many is just a brother gathering...but to those who took pride and feeling in their brother...they will know this gathering is a very important event to them just like me....I had just sms to jereld and tell him to postpone the gathering ....I cant take a one day off....STUPID MAN.....but orhzz....u see la....u can get $1500 in just 3week....who dun want first....I ask u all la....no choice lor but do la....waa kao...me now tok cock liao....

Me had a chat with sarah.....it had been quite some time ever since we had a chat....ok la....she feel better after the chat....want to know why??DUN TELL U.....kapo.....hahahaz....sian le...everyday had to wake up at 5.20am....then return home at 9pm....so sian....no choice.....money make horse run......I will run but only a while nia.....I ned some money for myself....no choice....cant expect parent to spoon feed me....I am old enough....time to be independent...

I went to the factory there....not bad le...got air con....and got quite a number of china and malaysia babe....COOL!!!oop....shsssss.....okok la......all older than..... T_T....sianzzz lor

I rememeber creating a long poem....but somehow I forget alrealy......sianzzz......never mind....hope I can remember what it is.....good night to all....need to slp liao...tml got work......

reporting time entry:11pm(14/01/05)

relfection of my mind and heart.....

2005-01-07T03:08:00.000+08:00

:reflection of my mind and heart.....

It had been three days that she didnt reply any of my question...not question of those sensitive type but those normal normal type...Even I show my care and concern to her.....I get no answer...I really wonder what the hell is going on....for these days,I make use of my time wondering did I do anything wrong....till today I cant even get any single idea izzit really my mistake.....in these 3days.....I heard of nothing due to the fact that none of my agent is in 3e and worst still.....there are some people who like to gossip....any small thing.....rumor will start.....with my limited knowledge...I cant do anything but wait outside the school for her.....for these 3days.....and only 1day met her....but guess what...when I went to her to ask her why she never reply me.....she alrealy in the bus.....there goes my chance....I was disappointed but I wasnt unhappy for I thought she will explain to me later in the night which was totally opposite....she never even sms me.....depress by such matter....I want to find any good listeners that is available but before I do so....I was chatting with germain.....I was relieve as I realise germain herself is a good listener....I blurt out everything about myself....ignoring that I alway only tell bit by bit to different person....I told germain alot of thing which is alrealy more than completing half of the zig saw puzzle.......

What happen today??I went to school to find her and hope that this could be the opportunity to clear up all misunderstanding....I went to the npcc room first and then to 5b and then the hall....scanning everywhere in the hall....I was surprise that she wasnt in the hall....thus I left the school......I met hiutung,hui qing and violet they all....some are playing kite....hahaz...somehow the kite never get the chance to fly up into the sky.....LOLX.....I saw some graduted student taking part in this camp...cheng chong,bernard and some other.....

Went back to blk8 to be pissed off by leslie...andre brother....really want to give him one tight slap....insulting me for almost the whole god damn afternoon....if not for the fact the he is andre brother....I would have alrealy fark him off the basketball court.....oop...too offendsive language....oh well....I cant blame anyone after all the current basketball skills I left is really nothing....I lost all my basketball skill I gain in my basketball team trainning......my 2point from 10throw 6in turn to 10 throw 2in.......my speed turn slower and even my dribbling still remain sux.....I am still rank the last in my basketball team......hahaz......

I went home and slept without ease....sleeping halfway kanna afew call and msg by friends.....when I woke up around 7.15pm....I went straight for my computer and started my own paradise in the maplestory.....play until halfway I stopped.....I suddenly had no mood to everything but just to keep on hoping she* will reply me or sms me.......I close all my game and found myself staring at the blank lifeless screen for quite sometime.........then I was startled by someone online msg me......I remember putting my status away......it was jereld....I reply him and then junhao add me in msn and he was invited in the conversation.......throughout the talk I managed to learnt of a few things.........then I add in roy and then he told me to make a consideration about my action......strangely enough.....I managed to sort out my confusion within a sec......now I know what I am actually doing.......hahaz....however action done better than words....I cant brag yet........

Halfway during the conversation,I went to chat with germain.I was amused when I learnt that the sec1 had been KO.....all sleeping....at 1am?!?!?For this continous 2year....From what I been through....the sec1 alway sleep around 2am and some even 3am......hahaz....but germain said that the activity was until 12am......waa kao.....even me also definitely sianz liao.....think we got chat for quite a while then suddenly she had to go as there is a sudden briefing.....oh well.....alway like that......

I saw norman when I went to 5b.....I had no feeling....nothing.....but when I remember of what he had done....the crimes and those hidden things.....I feel like puking.....however I still must say he is really a good guy.....it is such a disappointment that such talent was tainted by it own pride........

During this 3days of reflection....I brought back the dark memory I once had in my primary school......when I was in pri5 and pri6....I was depise by my classmate....those who accept me are those who are in EM3....they give me protection and friendship.....although they did their best.....I was still being depised and in the end being bully by my classmates......at one time....I confront them and then I quickly left for my friend.....the whole EM3 people went to my class to confront the group who bully me.....I was like kinda of being save....but I was wrong....hatred breed in their heart even stronger toward me.....from this I started to realise that violent can never solve anything.....why should I waste my time hating these people??Why shouldnt I give in abit to them and everything will be over??I did that in the mid year of my pri6.....I was correct....they accept me and then treat me more as a friend.....I was really very happy but then I had been drifting farther and farther away from my EM3 friends.......I dunno how to explain my whole feeling.........but I really learn alot of things in this 2year.....I had the taste of being a victim.....No one want to be bully.....and that is why I never bully in this school......I alway give a hand to those who need and even barge into the matter without the permission of the victim.............it`s true I was being reprimanded for such rudness.....however I still feel happy...for I help a soul......whenever I help someone....I just feel happy and after that I forget it.....however when I did a terrible thing......it will haunt me over and over again and then slowly fade.................................I alway believe that a stranger is a kind soul too.....perhap that why I tend to more social with stranger............now I know alot of people .......in this 2job....I alrealy know at least 20people......but now what....I stopped contacting them....and I didnt visit them....oh well......somehow to me.....friends is abit of like T shirt.....if I lost one.....I still alot in my closet....if I lost the whole damn closet....I still have other closets.......haizzzz......I dun want to lose contact with any single friends....but the problem is too many friends will give me not enough time.....a week cant even finish contacting with all my friends............after all.....it is really true.....thing come and goes in time......what a profound phrase......

3days of torturing.......let this poem sing out the sorrow of mine and to the attention of those who had the same tune as mine.......

**3 days**
In the start of the conflict,
born confusion and mystery,
yet still brimming with hope,
that the first day of conflict,
everything seen no longer similar,
your message turn to a god,
enlightening and cheering me,
but there wasnt any message,
bidding you good bye is the best,
but not for me...................

in the middle of the conflict,
born restless and pain,
and so start the second day,
with my hope fading slowly,
I never dare to give up on you,
however yet bring more pain,
the words I had sent to you,
didnt return safely to me,
thus restless give me something,
a pain in my heart and mind,
enduring within my limit,
bidding you night is the best,
but not for me.................

in the third part of conflict,
born isolation and misery,
sleeping in fear and anixous,
woke up in state of panic,
distracted in my chores,
it had come to me of one thing,
life without you seen to be meaningless,
holy prayer are sing from my heart,
however all my prayer are in vain,
without your mesage just in this 3days,
chaos are born throughout my mind,
now at the edge of breakdown,
I struggle with my faith on you,
a worthless faith of your reply,
I was right and things fell apart,
half dead and half alive,
time is short and fast,
I bring no more words,
for my effort are down into the drain,
in the third days of this,
I bide you nothing for you are mute,
bidding myself sweet dream is the best,
but also to you..............

report time:2.11am 07/jan/2005

I make mistake from time to time......

2005-01-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

Life was like back to last year....everytime play basketball like that....today also the same....play basketball....today actually can say got alot of people come play except afew....the funniest is javin...the basketball is he organise one but he didnt come and didnt even tell or at least sms anyone of us....I just really wonder is he ok anot...Heard he is sick 2days ago.....today can say quite boring....I just dunno how to explain...I dun have the passion for basketball for now....is like only play for fun only.....I could just say that it is damn boring.....hahz...somemore my leg like not very comfortable while running....and I pant easily after running for a short while.....it`s seen that my body are getting weaker....haizzzz....

I saw Norman.....ahh....I didnt seen surprise or have any feeling when I saw him....it seen that me myself is getting abit more cold hearted than before....however I had to accept the fact that he rebel against me....izzit just because of a gal,pride and the stupid action of being a holy guy that had him rebel me.....I no longer care....such low graded man doesnt deserve to make me worry or think of it...

I just now go out with peng yu and meet huan yeong and chee hau....we talk for a short while.....then hmmm we go home...lol.....I now wondering about my friend...shawn liew and his girlfriend cui ying....from both side....I could see an ending....seperation.....haizz....

Until now she haven even reply me.....I dunno what is she thinking but I strongly feel she should reply me....I haven say I jio her....I only say I like her....this is getting lamer and lamer.....after all, the current ship we are in is only friendship that all.....

I still got afew more things to say but somehow I forget about it.....haizzz...never mind...

**fader**
gazing from the far,
to where you are,
unseen and unheard,
yet passion afloat,
ignore cruelly by you,
the remain of mine,
now fade slowly into ashes.......

The longest chat with a girl throughout the night...

2005-01-04T03:02:00.000+08:00

Just now I was chatting with germain on phone....I was very surprise that we had talk for almost 6hour...from about 8pm to around 2am.....We still got alot to share with each other but I use the chance of declining to continue the conversation with her due to the fact that she still have to go to school when she accidentally hang up the phone and sms me that can call her again.When we chat,I didnt really dare to tell her to go to sleep.I just only ask whether she feel sleepy anot and joke that later she sleep in class....wahahahaha....actually it is quite rude to tell a person directly that u do not want to continue a conversation....I actually still got alot to tell her and of course I want to talk with her.....however if she really sleep in class....I jialat one...cos I am the who didnt let her sleep...hahaz...

During the chat,I do not why or how.However I got the feeling that I need to tell someone everything about me,my success,burden,failure and dream.During the first few hours of conversation,I found her to be a very good listener.I was also very surprise that germain still had no idea about the incident of kenneth matter.She didnt seen to bother to know the fact.I was also very glad she didnt scold me for offending kenneth.I managed to use this time to explain everything.I told everything of what I learnt of kenneth from many people.She at first didnt say anything but then later told me about the current situation between her and kenneth...At first I also thought she will scold me after my explaination but she didnt and we still continue to joke...she then somehow call me a terapin...hahaz....another animal nick for me...honestly speaking this is first time I feel so comfortable chatting with a gal.She is even better than Hazel and other gals I had talk to.Everytime I pour my things to my listener to anyone example jasper who is a triple agent,I never say out everything to him.I say bit and bit and then switch to another person like huan yeong and then also only tell him bit by bit....This to make sure that no one know my entire story...I am creating a zig saw puzzle.....however I do not know why I tell germain more than the limit I SHOULD do.....In the beginning I had no idea that I alrealy giving myself away but when I realise it...I didnt feel like siao liao or what...but I feel sort of gladful and relieve.....everything that I kept to myself had been drifting off me bit by bit.....

Although germain is a gal,she is abit tomboy.That was I could say.She also tell me that about herself when she is small....I was quite amused by her story.....she was living with her relative who were almost all boy and then like is under the influence of male....that explain that why she had the aura of male like that.I got also tell that the first time I saw her,I thought she is very gentle gal.Then only to find out that she is actually very de violent.....omg....tiaozzz.....my instinct went wrong in her......during the chat I somehow also got the feeling that she share abit of my same character.She should be those easy going type.....that what I strongly feel...hahaz....I was abit afraid when she told me she dislike me after the kenneth incident and also the sudden msg by me.....however I think she alrealy treat it as nothing....It is alrealy over.....we chat and chat and chat.......I though now only 10pm but when I look at my hp....WAA KAO!!!alrealy 12.35am liao......time really fly very fast....I hope that tonight I can chat with her again.....I still had alot of things to blurt out......although I do say out alot of things in blog however due to the fact that there are still a number of teckwhye student who are browsing my blog....I cant say out everything for it will cause a attraction.......I was quite shock to learnt of 2gal in sec3 had alrealy make love with their guy......although got one case is proven true but there is still got one which wasnt confirm and I also had no longer had any interest in such thing.Gal who thought they give their everything to their love can trap the guy forever but never to expect that it was just a trap set by the guy themself.....in such time of society....many male who abuse their ability had deflower many.....acting as a good and pure but yet in the dark doing those unforgivable disgusting thing......there is one person in the sec5.....those who learnt of recent incident will straight get the idea who that guy......what a disgrace......nowaday....gal seen to be navie....haizzz.....I got encourage germain to have a relationship with someone.....whether is puppy love or not.I told her that the main point is to let her find out herself the real definition of love.....but she keep on joking that she want to be a nun.....I really vomit blood almost all the time debating with her about this.....well....this is first thing I wanted to say....hahaz

For the second thing....I went to school to see see....Not bad le....the school has improved alot but still got one more pest to be get rid of....that mr codeiro.....WAHAHAHAHAHa.....that son of the mother had reject my plea to retain when I was in sec3 and went against me a few although I was not close with him.....grrrr......I had clast with him a few time liao....I will be the first to sing him out of the school.....whaahahahahaah........I am also very sure that the WHOLE school will be happy to see him drive out of school for the last time.....I`ll make sure someone throw something at him before he can be in the shelter of his car.....hehehe....I was quite happy that I got see alot of sec3 people...those who I knew but not close....I saw xingying.....she is sitting with han hui....haha...I still remember her blur blur face when she saw me.....seen to me that she never expect to see me again....hahahz....during the holiday she was one of those I had cut off my contact with.....of course still got alot other people......hahazz....jialat....pasieh liao....

I managed to pass my present to her......by myself!!!I never expect that too.....I and my small group hunt for 3E......luckily we found it at the art room.....I was really worried when I saw alot of familiar faces.....all staring at me like that as if expecting something interesting will pop out....she is in the class but I dare not to come in because of mrs mona lau.....scared later she tell everyone that my art is very good and creative.....I dun really like people to praise me like that....like I will act proud like that....haha....we wait and wait.....then ask one of them to call her but none of them accept......finally to the long presuading...guo xiong help me.....I and him approach the class.....I was shock when I notice that almost the whole class is staring at me and guo xiong!!!I hide behind the door and then guo xiong did what I instructed.....call her come out...I was surprise and disappointed when I found out that they all say she had left for PSL.....I left for hall and call out for the rest and left as fast as I could to avoid gossip.....I finally saw her in the hall....I call zhen hao to help me to call her come out but zhen hao tell me to wait....I wait and wait.....she didnt come out and I was really dot dot when I knew that she had forgotten that I was waiting for her outside the hall.....I call guo xiong to escort me and the rest to stay in there position.....guo xiong call gina.....at that time....Alfreed was having fun with the sec1.....he saw me and saw her talking to me....I wonder will he tell cxxxxx about this anot....I went low profile alrealy.......this is the lowest profile chase I ever make out......I like the way she say thank and she bow a little....like japanese style like that....she then went back to her group....I want to have a chat with her but it is impossible to do so and somemore I dun even know will she want it even she free.......I went to pass my book to jonathon teo which was also one of my main objective.....we straight away left the school........we continue play basketball.The sec3 join in and we play full court....haven even 3minutes.....it rain heavily....waa kao....so sway sia.....then after the rain we continue to play until 6.30pm.......helmi join in during the fun .....we sit in the void deck......there is a very cool wind blowing and we chat and chat...I like the wind very much....I was very happy when I saw my 4di chen ming....he the only teckwhyean who went to the dunno wat jc.....lolx....no comment.hope he will choose the pjc......

Perhap this is the last thing I want to say......during the visit...I met dickson and hiutung....I was actually very unsure but I think I got heard dickson greeting me.....I ask guo xiong but he say he didnt hear anything.....then I diam diam.....anyway.....more and more people dislike me to be with dickson.......I know my limit this time round......so I pass it.....

**I am just a flicking flame.....u have two choice...protect me or left me to be blown out**

To what extend I need to do??

2005-01-03T19:09:00.000+08:00

I quit my second job although the they employ me the day I went for interview.I reject the offer the parker company manager had given to me by extending my service.Hahaz....now I am jobless.....I now wonder got lobang anot....hahazzz
Today I went to play basketball with javin they all...from 1pm to dunno how long....then I met jun hong....we chat for a while.From the conversation,it seem that there is only 2 teckwhyean there...he and eng kiat.....LOLx....so few people....
I was quite happy to my friends again and what make me more happy is my other brothers they....jereld and roy....I was happy that they finally wear long pant...the mark of maturity.finally...all my brothers are mature....though they are not my blood brother....yet I cant describe the happiness and reason.....
Then the sec3 they all come....haha...I was quite amuse to see them....example the sui how and the shi han wearing long pant.....wahahahahha....funny sia...got alot of them.....the rest of the people like normal normal....nothing change around them....the atomsphere is still the same when I was with them last year.....glad to see them...but no time to chat with them...hahaz....I am sure someday I will ask them out.
I was very surprise to see Hiutung....well...of course I knew that dickson will be somewhere around....I was going to ask him when he want the CD back...haha....but to my disappointment...he never reply and instead he act as if I eat glass grow up one.....I was uncertain about jasper and javin they all.....they had seen his attitude toward me...I was actually abit embarrased....I was too shocked to react and left him alone and back to jasper they all....no one mention to me about dickson attitude.....I guess they will be telling to me about dickson in no time bai....or maybe not.....they had learnt not to interfere my matter unless I need their help....
But I will be happy if they want to know about it....so long alrealy.....no one had did such thing to me...I respect all indiviual regardless what they are and who they were.....if someone respect u ...you had to do the same....it is a logic....unless u want to find someone to fight then I no comment....I predicted correctly that he will still stand on Norman side.....I cant blame at all....compare to me and Norman....Norman had spend more time with him and I had to accompany my other big groups of friend....Dickson is alway alone.....I cant waste my time on him all the time....he had the different frequency with me.....haizzz...I act differently to him and other.....If I now suddenly start to proganda again.....it will definitely cause a disturbance....maybe.....within 3months suddenly I kick off 2 friends......people around me will want to know what happen....I dunno...but I am sure if dickson dare to do anything funny to me...the rest of my friends will definitely use this chance to have their revenge on him.....what their revenge??I dunno le.....now alot working.....dun even know should tell them anot...but I guess just let the matter rest.....such person will vanish from my mind in no time....I cant waste my memory on a name which was fully fallen....

I went home with jereld and jason to take jereld camera....then we walk to lot1....then journey quite fast......I also have to admit that I cant talk normally to them somehow.....cant really joke....haha....then we had luch together and from them I have learn afew things.....but I wont say out since this isnt anything important to me......I went to watch gongfu hustle....very comdey....I really like it....hahaha....quite funny....not bad la....after that I walk to home alone wondering how to settle the mess which I still haven clean up.....since I alrealy left the school then I should let everything go....if I dun I will waste my time but yet fi I do ...I can gain more fame in helping people......now I had think about afew point....

01-Do wat extend should I help ?
02-Do the fallen need guidance even though they never ask for it?
03-Will I get bitten when the person can stand on it own??
04-Will the person understand my goodwill effort??
05-Will that person doubt me for having another intention of helping him?

Actually it is simple...I just realise it...all I need is just to offer a hand to those who seek my help not giving help without their plea....I had been bitten twice in a year.....betrayal to me will mean endless doom.....for this 2people....hmmm.....I had been forgiving alot of people because I knew no one is perfect but right now the situation had force me.....with no choice....I had plea to the god to punish them....let it be now or future...darken the victim of mine...with my offering to the light....let justice show what punishment each deserve....
I just want to curse them but I cant....I had been backfired before....because of the curse I had no choice but to listen ......avoid wearing black shirt till age 21.....oh well.....no choice....I was quite stupid that time to forget the safely measure.....haizzz.....black magic is indeed stronger than the white magic.....that the last I know......hmmm.................I cant say anything now.....

It`s going to end for once and for all.......

2004-12-31T03:06:00.000+08:00

It has been a very long time that I didnt update my blog is mainly due to the fact that my mother had spoilt the mouse and keyboard.....every pieces was being put back but the space bar had somehow fly away.......
I was being employed by a manager.....who come to my house void deck and hire me and sheng huat straight away....it was really a pure to me....hahaz.I took the trainning for two days at the city hall there the robinson...I make quite a number of friends although only in 2 days....one trainer who was quite cute name cindy taught me all about the parker pen.There was alot of auntie but it didnt affect me....I chat with them on the first day.....lol....
By that time sheng huat was being sack due to his attitude given by the mangers who act as customer on his first day of trainning....the staff there told me that he didnt talk and very quiet....and very funny.....haha...but he still got $35 for his trainning.....by that time I alrealy lobang jeffrey,stamford and Helmi....jeff at toa payoh,stamford at north point center and helmi at jurong point........I was then being ask to teach stamford about the pen for his first day.....but the teaching was very fast and we end up chatting about our past time and our current personnal matter.....time do fly very.....I thought I just chat with him for one hour but instead is alrealy more than that.....time to go home....wahahahaha.....we went to have our dinner and I should say that I am surprise we are still very close like last time......hahaz
On the first day of my stall located at orchard popular bookshop,I sold about $300 and I was quite happy but I was disappointed when I knew that the comission only 1.75%....one hour $5....from morning 11am to 10pm and 1 hour break which dun have money.....so tiring.....everyday somemore...haizzz....it was boring at the start.....cos alway no customer one...however I enjoy by the number of different friends who at least visit me.....although most are male but yet there are still got a few girl visit me.....haha....me dun really popular with girl in my life one.....after a few days...I went to read book in the popular....I read harry potter from the dunno what stone and then right to the last book which is (forget liao)....then I started to read about those superititous thingy and horoscope.....I make alot of friends there too.....although some look like pia kia but they are actually very friendly.....some are joker....we joke during our lunch.....there a counter beside me and his name is Danny...he is a nice guy and he abit funny....hahazz....then at popular I get to know a few pretty girl....got one very cute one name joan....she abit funny to me la....whenever I just simile and talk with her...she will like very happy like that.....haha....dun think narrow...she got a boyfriend for more a year liao....that what I heard.....then got one girl from regent secondary....NT....her name is Bao zhen....she also not bad la.....talk alot...hahaz.....I was actually surprise when she suddenly one day say I very funny....the first girl who say this exact sentence is Gina....I was also very surprise....I feel very lame.....then never mind.....got another girl.....think going to 30 bai....she also say the same thing...me dot dot dot......I dun know where am I funny lor....I wasnt acting or what...I was still normal......in everything.....then during the last 2week got a new recuit for the besta which was under Danny...her name is Lindia....seen to be malay cos her skin are quite dark.....but can see that she is a chinese....she quit in less than a week....hahaz...dunno how to say her.....I was also dot dot dot when one day she also say I very funny.....grrhzz.....this is getting lamer and lamer....
to me is very funny lor......suddenly got girl say me like that....I wasnt surprise if any male say this to me...it my normal reaction that alrealy make them laugh....joker*but only in the company of male not female.........
During my work,I almost left the world of mine......I cut off my contact with alot of people.....I was too busy....not I dun want.....I was deeply sad whenever I thought of my glory in school....able to know half of school people well and the CCA......yet I still felt angry by the rumor that I bully kenneth.....Never in my life to be insult like that.....I alrealy swore to my oath not to bully,to fight and things against my honour......my repulation was affected.....the pillar which was clean had been tainted......I dare to say those who know me well wont believe this....in this school I protect the weak not bully.....how dare those rumor to insult me.....I am still mad whenever I think of it......
Oh yeah...one important which should never be left out....some of my friends who know I kick Norman out of my friendship either scold me or say me.....I was just trying to help a lonely soul that still haven mature in his way of life....In fact they alrealy knew why did I at the first place stand on his side last year....I still remember the sentence they had say...."got him or dun have make no difference" and "doing good deed may not be repay but instead the opposite" and "see...tell u alrealy liao....this kind of person is a wolf in sheep skin" I wasnt the culprit yet being said until like that....I was greatly sadden by the sudden comment they gave......I remember last year that his classmate are revoulting him and on my level...like wei cong they not happy with him...there are other level below the mine dun like him because of jealousy.....so many people complain to me about him and to make matter worst....some had the idea of contronting* him.....The first thing I had done was to ask him out....we go causeway point to buy a PS controller....I like his character....great dermination...honest...these two is enough....thus I trust very much....I told my friends to forget about the past which was met with unhappiness......however they keep quiet after that.....
This year....I was totally angry at him....I didnt scold or whatever him....I only tell him nicely....he stead with a girl name li wei for 9months and then break....reason is because of mable....then suddnly patch and then break again....reason given....I cant forget mable...I nearly going to shout at him when I heard it...I want to shout."IF THAT THE CASE,U SHOULD NEVER EVEN START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AT ALL....THE ENDING YOU GIVE IS TEARING HER APART!!!you have waste your time and effort.....so does she.....for nine months....isnt there any feeling for her??"It is a disgracefully thing when I heard of his reason....and there are dark sercet which cant be told......haizzz...he is very stubborn....all my advise had to music to him.....not surprising that I get to wonder he still like yingjia anot......this is a interesting topic during my working time.......I feel very sad for such person.I had give him new life exp and he turn it down just at the start.....with only girls supporting him and only afew guy behind him......he will alone.....I try my best to help him but in vain.....I had been numerous of things in my past in dark....never spilt out to any just becasue I dun want to boost.....I had even save my friend life.....to all extend I had been trying to everyone whom I knew to be happy....I never reach my goal because of some people narrow view and thought and too many people to help which had took in alot of my time.......or else why do I have so many friends with me.....make they laugh and happy....that all I want for everyone.....I take anyone as my friends regardless of race,character and background....because people will change.....everyone is born with a kind heart.....I am really in sorrow......I wont mind that people to repay me anot....but never turn against the one who had guide for you......I cant stand betrayal.....so is my code when I was alway with my gangsters friends in primary school......
I like a gal.....the one who first say me a funny person....whenever I chat with her....so far not on phone yet.....I found she understand every single thing I talk and I somehow like the frequency we chat.....I was in deep thought while working....it was by then I clearly remember she the only girl who can understand me.......it going to be one month that I like her.....this time I really go damn low profile to avoid the history disaster given by my friends who cant keep the sercet of mine well.......currently she going to the art class.....sec3 next year.....I miss her even in work....I sometime just daydream about her for the whole night or long time unless disturb by the customer......she dun want a stead....I am fine by that....I alway respect people decision.....because I really like her very much....I respect her decision and remember every single words she had sms to me.......haizzz......well....back to the job....I quit the job as I want to have a new exp of life....I was then being employed by a company which is in healthcare product....I was very lucky....I was being employ when I go interview.....thing suddenly go smoothly except in my romance......tomorrow is my trainning.....I am still very worried about this job.....it go by commission and no basic.....if I cant sell mean no money....but this job is different from any normal out door sale.....that is the unique point and attracted me....now is going to be 3am liao....better go sleep.....arrh.....haven say out my celebration in the holiday.....

**I really miss u everytime the clock tickle continously....I really like you alot**

The breakup...fine with me...

2004-11-30T01:56:00.000+08:00

yesterday night Norman quarrel with me....he claim that I stole a bicycle under a void deck.That how the quarrel start.....The fact about the bicycle me and peng see is this.No lock on the bicycle,front gear spoil,tire all worn out,suspension too loose and brake edition was too old.No such edition was available anymore.Left in the open instead of beside the bicycle lock place.Tell me....what will you fell if you meet with such incident and provide you had interest in having a bicycle.Will you take this bicycle as u realise that this bicycle is not bad too.
Is that call stealing??LOLX.....what crap is that.....Norman also say that he found his
principal.....is that a joke??He trying to tell me that he dunno how to live a human before he found his way of life?!?!This is ridulous to me....I guess it is also the same to the viewer.That night all the message he send me seen to be full of crap and nothing.....what he is trying to tell me have no link at all....I wonder is his brain working well anot.....one of his msg tell me that many people dun like me at all......this is the only sentence that really make me laugh.....if that is true....I knew it long ago instead of waiting for him to tell me....I am have my own agents in school.....if he is trying to fool me...I guess he need to wait for his next life.....I am really quie shock by what he say to me and accuse me of being a thief....lame lor....lame lor....if I tell this to everyone....I bet he is a laughing stock for everyone.....
Oh well....when I first know him.....I heard alot of people wanted to beat him up....not only his classmate but more than that....I was astonished by the new and decided to get the matter into my hand.I invite him to come with me to causeway point to accompany me to buy a ps controller,During the talk,I know what really went wrong.He is a plain person,a person of no creation.To male,he is a very boring person.However when turn to female....it is the opposite....because he is too honest which I like.Girl turn to him frequently...the boys get jealous and that how the conflict happen.I pity him that almost everyone anti him that time....it`s like a stray cat in the street wandering aimlessly until it found a shelter....
The only thing which I cant do is to understand about a person in a very short period of time.I had no idea that he was such a stubborn guy.He claim that he was in the right....fine with me....however what if everyone claim that he is in the wrong and he still insist he in the right....he is bound to be a failure.He is alert at all time and quiet....however he cannot extend his thinking and consideration of result to the standard.....He is hot tempered.....when I tell my friends about his thing.....my friends never care at all.....who is norman??this guy can fight??dun need to scare of him la......
haha....none of my friends is scare of him at all....in fact....alot of male wasnt in good term with him....well....I am so disappointed in him...he is alrealy 16 yet his mind isnt functioning well.....so sad......when I told some of my friends.....I was actually being scolded sia....."kapo lor..this kind of friend not worthy le...u see for yourself la....got him or dun have him around didnt affect you right??"haizzz......I was doing that because I feel he need friend.....since he the one who wanted this breakup....it is fine...in fact.....I was happy.....he take too much pride alrealy la.....this guy cannot lose face de.....he is like that.....
okay....let forget this immature child.....now my 4di chen ming is chasing ying jia.well....ying jia like him too.......that a good start....but now.....I dun even know is it good or bad.....I am confused,,,,now got some people want to jio ying jia too.....if my dear bro cant get his wish.....I really dunno what to say......I like both chen ming and ying jia.....although I like ying jia...but I rather want to see a happy couple instead both parties suffering silently in pain......chen ming is my brother.....I really love him and treat him as my real brother......it hurt my heart when I somehow have the feeling that he is in depress state.......I want to be a good bro but love thing have to go natural....nothing can be force.......ying jia like him for 1and half year alrealy......dun waste our childhood memory......time never reset......
just now I go hair cut......haizzz....not again....my head cut overlap then I see a huge mush room sia....my head like a mushroom......very funny lor.....then remind me of maple story.....the mushroom there.......whahahahhaaha......I got play basketball in the chua chu kang cc just now...quite fun and I like it....the only sway sway thing is got brusie on my feet....kao....tml go out again....somehow I am alway busy in my holiday....I thought I will be in home for days not going out everyday!!!Different group of friends ask me to join them........however I just like to be with the sec4......cos they guai guai de....not gangster this kind of thingy la......ok...now go sleep liao......night....

**The will of yours will lead everyone to their death if you do not accept the reality**

prom night(unforgettable)

2004-11-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

Since no sec4 and 5 girl know my blog....I dare to say out what all my thought.However let me say out about the prom night.It is one of the funniest night.....the Dj done a very good job...although he talk alot of rubbish yet it is very comedy......the whole hall was filled with laughter.....we went to a wat holiday hill view park hotel.....we meet at world of jj at 4pm with the sec4 group.jasper and yuan man was late.........well.....I now had to say I no longer had the patience to wait any more.....I remember waiting for yuan man a very long time and also alot of time too.......I can wait but not for an hour.....who can wait for so long?!?!?This is common sense what....my patience is running out ........
we got about 9pple excluding me to go together.... I am surprise to see 4 other pple....chen boon,sam,wei quan and jun hong together.....well...they are the prom king....they must reach the place by 5.30pm......they left earlier than us......but reach later than us.,..they lost their way....Muahahahahahahahaha

We are early for more than an hour....so we went to shopping center and buy hair dye....I wanted to dye but in the end I didnt.....then we return to the hotel......when we reach the entrance....I saw ying jia and jeesica......I tell u...I swear I saw 2 angels......1 skinny de and 1 plump plump de......the only problem is that I didnt see any ring on their head and no wing on their back....lolx
We saw ming xue and his friends beside another entrance.....then we walk up to the ball room ourselve......then about 7pm which is the starting time.....alot of pple start to come up....ying jia come up too.....an idea struck me......I approached ying jia and ask her to take photo with me.....I put my hand on her shoulder....got ask her permission la......ME feel very happy!!!I never put my hand on a gal shoulder at all in my life.....I swear in the name of god......I was very very happy....no word can describe my happiness......however I was worry....Kalvin will be jealous......after the night.....I heard that I am the only person who put my hand on ying jia shoulder........no one else.......I suddenly feel very happy....but then they say I very thick skinned.....common lor.....to me....I dunno my future.I cant make sure that my path cross hers....life is unpredictable....
The hotel food isnt good at all.....I wonder they are cooking for who de......expect me to accept that hotel food standard is like that mehzz????This is very disappointing.....there is a lucky draw......the most lucky table is my table and ying jia table.......each table got 10pple.....there are 2 pple didnt pay for the ticket.....however the rest of the 8 pple all kanna the lucky draw prize...all got win prize sia.....for my table is 2pple forget to bring and only 1 poor chap didnt won any lucky draw prize....hahaha......wow....the this is truly amazing to me.....pure luck*

I wanted to say this out also....this is the best thing I had in the prom night....there was a lucky draw....starting alot of people clap and clap but as the number of people go up to stage take prize...the loudness of people clapping fade away fast.......around more than 26 people.....really like no one is clapping liao....only afew handful nia......then I was given a surprise......the Mc say out my number!!!I blur blur then regain my sense and walk out.....I was sort of tiaozzz because no one clap at ALL!!!It was only when I noticed that the everyone know I am the person who got it.....there was a sudden chrous of clapping.....from almost everyone!!!The ball room which was once quiet suddenly burst out alive sia.....only those who are there know about it.....I never imagine that I had alot of support from so many people.....hahaz....honestly speaking...actually people in the ball room.....almost everyone know me ......I think that is because we are friends that why they support me so well.....I was sort of grateful and touched that so many people clap for me sia.....I really thank them alot.....then after me.....is another person....I guess many grinned and the person who take the prize want to cry bai.....cos only that handful of people clap again nia......hahaz......I guess people wont clap for stranger at all.....haha...

I went home straight away......this is the most surprising thing to me and other friends too bai....I tend to stay overnight one.....I got invitation from 3different group of friends...1st group ask me to go clubbing,second one didnt tell me go where and the last group say see first see first....but I took the 4th choice.....home sweet home
I must now confess my liking to a gal.....last year she rejected me last year......hahaz.....now I realise I like her alot......the feeling is there.......her name is wonderful.......and I like most of her character......although she abit lazy.....but I more lazy than her la.....hahahaz....honestly....however because of my childhood friend.....I dare not to do anything and worst is that I dunno what is shethinking about......I am have no look and no money.....this two factor is enough to dismiss me from chasing her..........it is not I want to give up on her but the problem is will she accept me despite my personnal problem.....
A guy who is faithful is not the problem.The real problem is that the heart of a girl cant be seen truely.....how I know that is she the faithful type.....that are many people who are better than me....I cant force her at all........I do not know la.........however let it be natural.....there isnt any need to push.......if it is fate then accept it wholeheartly.....she like a good bro of mine......to me....this bro is one of my 5closest brother......well.......
die die liao lorz........better forget this matter*
This year is a very weird year to me......I am very shock by the number of gal I like be4 this year......I felt insulted......when I change so much.....Did I really turn into a bad guy alrealy without my knowledge??

**The bonding of brother are strong enough to overwhelming all our misunderstanding not by a flower**

oh.....

2004-11-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

Now playing 2 onliine game.....Darkeden and maplestory........the funniest thing in maplestory is that I alway die after I get a job.....before that....I never die before sia......then my exp point drop constanly!!!almost like going to delevel sia........dot dot.....
Thought I will be bored at home after the exam is over but instead is the opposite.......almost everyday went out with different group of friends.....if this group isnt going out then still can go out with another group of friends.......shoick man.....but my pocket is also burning in a rapid rate......gosh.....my money almost turn to 0 soon......this is the greatest year I ever had.I met alot of friends in school regardless of their age and level.......I had make alot of brothers....more than my mei mei.......it is a waste to had mei mei though I wish to have a sister of my own.....it is sad that none could didnt really treat me like their blood sister.....it is a shame that I couldnt achieve....I just wonder did I really fail to do what a brother treat a sister as??It seen that it is impossible but I am happy that I had a jie jie of my own......that is Andeline......she treat me well and give me a close feeling.........tomorrow is the last paper and I will be FREE!!!yeah!!
Tml I will redo all my bog and add people liao.......hehe

**The way that lead give no guidance,search for the light that is hidden **

Finally......yes la yes la

2004-11-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

My O level is finally going to be over....it a good thing ......but orhzzz....the exam can torture me.....during these time.....I had enjoy alot of thing.....ever since the end of the math......I had been going out with my lie feng friend......and recently I with the sec2 friend......the only friend group which I didnt contact with is the sec5.......only some sec5 de then the rest like dun feel like be with them......this few time got go out with friend and got one time in cck stadium.....we saw xiao xue that group of gal......shoick man....all wear bikini sia......I was surprise that my eye didnt pop out of my eye socket......wahahahahahaa.....then got ginny and reine.......that time is raining.......too bad for them.................hmmmm
I forget wat to say.....but I like today manjhong at violet house.......actually to me sian sian......yuan man very slow and I dunno wat to say about him la....everyone is not perfect....well the best is go ying jia house and play with them.....got jue tong is enough liao......can talk alot.....that wat I alway like to do......talk more.....wahahahaha......recently I had make a bet with kelvin.....whoever jio ying jia out is the winner.....then he sms her and I also sms her......she got reply me by shooting me to study but no reply to kelvin.......wahahahahahaha......wat a great blow to kelvin......I just really wonder ying jia like who.......kelvin is not a bad guy.......do the characteristic of him deserve not her??This is really funny to me.......

last day....................End of an era....

2004-10-31T02:04:00.000+08:00

Today I had enjoy alot of things in the school annual food and fun fair.....I had meet up with my friends.....I thought I will the latest one........but turn out to be early......wahahahahaha.....sheng huat is the latest......the 4b are also gathering at blk8......so united......we went into the school.........not quite organised like last year......I had to say that it`s should be on friday not saturnday........we went to see the game stalls..........all make me sian sian......wahahahahahaa.......then we walk one whole round......I went into a sec1 room......I was admiring a glass bottle when the counter call me sir......TIAOZZZZZ!!!Ayiooo......me feel so pasieh sia.....wahahahahaha......I had alrealy retired of duty since a very long time.....worst is that I alrealy promise some sec2 to that I will be CI but because I didnt perform well......I lose out......but still can be their friends......okay....back to the fun fair....hmmmm....then we went to the canteen and see got sell what food......me more dot dot when I see the food......many stalls dunno sell what thing.....me see liao......dot dot......first thing I went to a corner of the stall.......rachel pull me and talk to me seriously......I thought what happen.......guess what.......she say"help me buy a cup of cocktail.....only 50 cent"
DOT DOT DOT.........then never mind.....Yvonne saw me and call out my name and also want me to buy food from her stall.....I was very surprise that she will call me.....because we are not really close friend.....or should I say is rarely known each other.....but but then never.....I give excuse to run away.....I brought 2 cup....one for jereld my bro and another for myself......then I went back to my group.....elaine call me....I see in her direction.....I go to her stall.....there got the very naughty phyillis and lei wei.....and elaine.......I go there.......they say the same word........buy something..............even more dot dot.......
Then I went to support Yvonne stall and when I was buying.....huan yeong sister call me.....say me never support her stall.........ok la nvr mind....I also buy.......I brought a stick of 6 mushroom coated in dunno wat sauce.......50 cent!!Waaaa......I really want to tell her daylight robbery.....but never mind....is for charity......and the mushroom is put into the stick straight after the can being open.....waa liao......me dunno wat to say.....then for kai xin(huan yeong sister)..........WORST!!!2 strawberry coated in chocolates.......50 cent too!!! waa kao........so kam chiap...........I brought biscu- from elaine stall.......when I share with my friend......me lose the feeling of eating......the food like expired liao......lose it crispyiness.............I go back to complain .......actually just want to shoot them but in the end .......because rushing time......then Didnt really joke with them and join my group of friends......I saw Hui keng.....I didnt really call her.....I was quite ashamed that I fail my duty as brother toward her......that why I didnt really call her......
Hmmm......then we go to the dunking machine there......ayiooo.....sianzzzz......the Ncc teacher......big big one.....everyone try to shoot but even got hit also wont affect her.....her weight too heavy liao la.....but luckily some got eat breakfast de people had her down into the cool water......wahahhaha.....then the next teacher is Mr chalk.....he arhzzzz......funny lor....when he go up.....alot of people want him down into the water........Sarah had spend $10..............OMG!!!On well.....must understand that rich people is like that one la....wahhaahahahaa.......I got see ban hao.....and miao de up on the plank.......both are drench duck in the end la.......whahahaahahaahaha.......
I got went to 2a food stall.....................SUSHI!!!My favorite le...............waa sia....want to buy but dunno why didnt buy.....then PAICK!!!.........................................OUCH!!!Turn and see.......violet staring at me with evil intention.....and the intention is also the same as the other......want me to buy......me got buy in the end.......WAAAAAA...............THE RICE SO HARD!!!My teeth isnt make of metal le.........dot dot.......but ayioo.......sway lor....alrealy buy liao and no refund......wahahahahahaaha
I meet up with Elaine and told her about Kelvin thing......but then she neutral.....dot....then kelvin find her and give her coupon.......lucky she reject.....becos I want kelvin to know that money cannot buy everything.....not friendship or love.......Then I went abit of shopping in school with her........then quite okok la.......during this time......I happened to notice that shu fang is watching me.......bet she must have think I am wooing a gal.....tiaozzzzzz.....I manage to talk to xin ying.........I haven even start my speech.....she walk away very fast.......she too shy liao la.....ayiooo.....then the elaine yap thought I want to jio her........dot....dot......
I got meet hiutung......she make me abit lame.....she look at me for quite sometime then she finally say hello...............dot dot dot.......she really blur blur.......wahahahahaha......then Germain.......she like treat me very cold......haizzzz......but then when I msg her in the night....she told me she got stomach problem......no wonder why I see her face like got problem........she return home very early......and she doesnt seen to be close with her class people.....hmmm......
Overall I wont forget today.......hahahahaa.......my last day joking with many people.......end of an era in this school.........
OK.....now I had a serious problem in this year.......there a sec5 boy name kelvin......the sec5 had divided into a few groups.....but we call it gang......thing was going well when one day we know he like Wee Na............and he wanted to jio her.....he msg her more 50 times and give her more than 10 missed call and is EVERYDAY!!!SIAO arhzzz......hp bill blow until like fuk......think her parent photocopy money one arhzzzz.....then we tell Wee Na......and kelvin know about and then say our bad thing in front of different people......backstabbed us and cheat us........he even lie to huan yeong who was his friend for more than 4yr liao..........he still dare to tell wee na that he had a clean cut with us.......see......backstabber......I was trick in his own game.....I had nvr expect he will have 4hp line......and he use the 4th line to pretend as zhen yang.....NA BEI!!! Ever since that happen......we had a meeting.....we had wei cong and chang yi behind us......for me myself....I went to tell the sec4 pple....many support me and the sec4 kelvin told me that the whole class will support me........I decided to get the sec3 and 2 also......the more pple ......the more he will be scare......however I haven tell the sec2 yet.....they are still young.....dun teach them bad thing......wahahahaha.........however I wil not forgive kelvin action......he now started to bribe chee hau and some other with money just to buy friendship......I will never accepth such bribe .......I dun want to be with such corrupted person.........sometime I really want to go tell sec3 kelvin to settle him but I dun like to have the support of gangster.....and since I got enough pple....so should have no problem........
Though I have alot to say but the time is late so I need to rest early.........I want to say out one last important thing..........and that is germain.....it is useless to confess my liking to her anymore.......it is better to say out than hiding it under the shadow of my heart..........I like her......but didnt woo her......that is the fact....because I know that she like someone else.....it is impossible to win her hart......everyone heart can only contain one person ......she is good ....and quite pretty to me......her character is very different from the rest.........I had been watching her for quite some time........however yet at this time.....I also have a liking on a sec4 gal......haizzzz......why boy tend to have the idea of liking gal........I really only want a faithful girlfriend that all.................appearance isnt important.....what is important is the heart......I was thinking why am I so cruel.......everytime despair in such matter......do I not deserve to have a girlfriend???Not I despo or what......but never in this school had I stead before......never in this school...............how to accept this?!?!?Though I had some knowledge in love however no partener............HAIZZZZZ
O level is on this monday............wish all candidate all the best day......the time to use our talent is now........this is a poem for Germain......just to make sure that I wont forget u in my life........
*abide feeling of you*
*blinded by chains*
*arrow of the lead*
*break the destiny*
*between u and me*
*helpless and hopless*
*I know it`s the end*
*though we not fate*
*yet fated to be friend*
*time do not matter*
*yet the current society*
*accept no time loss*
*nothing is for sure*
*but I only sure in one thing*
*I like you*
*let this poem tell*
*my faded love for u*
*the first and last*
*Ashiteru*

oh..................

2004-10-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

This month I cant pay bit of the phone bill.....man!!!Very scary sia......later the bill blown .....I will kanna wacked by my mother one sia.....she nag and nag and nag until I can go and fly to heaven........
This week alway go out with different group of friends sia.......and the most surprising thing is that I go out with not my school one.......after all.......they are the one who are free to accompany me whenever I feel bored....not like my school friends.....all either loaded with exam or book.......haizzzz.....I suddenly realise positive about my those friends.......they are living in a carefree world.....without any worry or trouble......it freedom!!
However sad to say.....their future is unstable......not enough education level to make through in this society.....escpecially in singapore.................
Today I meet an old friend.....he now in ccks.....his face like hazel.........but now his face had change so much that his face no longer look like hazel face liao......hahahaha.....then arhz.....hmmm.....chat chat chat then left the place and meet next week to play basketball............me got O lvl practical the next day........should I keep my promise to go???hmmm...............I dunno la......see fate.......

only $151 to go japan!!!

2004-10-09T10:44:00.000+08:00

Ytd hiutung went to japan to take part in chingay.....I thought she no money .....then only when dickson told me then I know.....I ask her where she got so much money .....she told me only need to pay $151............WAA KAO!!SO CHEAP!!Even the cheapest fare in tour group cost at least $1000.....including the airline expense.....waaaa......I want to go japan ever since I heard about it......I like japanese language and alot more sia.....technology there also very advance than singapore lor.... Although I heard that the chinese dance and drum go there.....they still have to take papers.......not an advantage......pple like me alway last minute study.....go there mean dun ned to study liao.....so as good as fail sia.....oop......haizzz......so good....never mind...when I grow up I will work hard just to go there and have fun ....yuppy... : ) this week arhzz.....got alot of things happen.....however I could only remember few of the incident.....oh ya.....I remember some of my friends suddenly tell me that if I need help can call them......dot dot....ayia...I know they all also piakia....never mind....at least I got more backup....but that doesnt mean I can do anything funnny....wahahahaha...the mock exam was a total failure.....so many pple didnt come ....half of my class never come to school ever since the start of mock exam......then that old man call the sec5 to stand up and insult us....na bei!!!We are the one who got come lor.....should scold those didnt come one what.....knn... Then nvr mind....ytd morning I was only late for a few seconds.....then that bloody ah pek....stopped me and my friends and tell us to run round the field for 3 rounds.....HEY!!Feel like giving him 2 tight slap.....hmpz hmpz..... yesterday night.....guo xiong call me for starcraft cd....but my friend haven burn.....the worst is that my friend got no cd to burn....dot dot dot......the N level is nearly over....left the art and d&t....wow.....no wonder they all so relax.....however the sec4 express friends are still studying like hell.....but sheng huat,jeffrey introduce me a new game.....ahhhh.....I just started playing a online game introduce by another friend then they introduce me this game.....not enough time to play sia....I need to study liao....really lor.....then zhen peng come my house....I was very surprise for I dun expect friend to come my house at such time when near exam.....I didnt really make him feel as if it`s his home....he only stay for sometime before I told him that I had to go out ......when we were about near teckwhye LRT.....I msg dickson what is it he finding me for....then he tell me is about hiutung things.....then I was blur blur.....I thought they all okok what....their relationship still in good shape le.....then never mind...me and peng go blk 8....their got norman and dickson.....and actually is nothing happen la.....I thought what happen....during the way to blk...peng found a bike....unlock!!!wow!!!Then in the end I use....cos my old bike sux!!!! I carry peng home on the bike.....so tiring sia....although he is very light but I got diffculties cycling......hahhaa...then send him off to his house....hahah..my favorite boy mahzz....must treat him very good.....then I went to meet my another group of friends and went to sunshine pLace to eat and chat.....chat chat for some time then we left.....someone back out in last minute so we didnt really cycle..... Oh yeah....last thing.....I never know that it is an enjoyment to chat with germain....I thought she is those quiet quiet type one.....but she talk until like a tomboy....oop....but she is fun to be joke with......me alway sms her....not only trying to finish off my sms in that month(nobody to sms to....all so boring one) and also to kiajiao her....wahahaha......too bad she like someone else.....haizzzz.....but friend is alrealy a very good thing to me.....wahaahhahha.....oh well......I remembered spending more than half of my sms on her last month....I now abit worried.....becos this month I got call alot of pple......yuck!!Dun blow too much.....**it a simile that hide the true emotion of a broken heart**

.........haizzzzz............sigh.....

2004-10-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

I finally get to know all my subjects for the prelim..........sad to say....I got 28 in L1R4......thank to the math.....so sway sia....get F9.....if I pass at C6 then score will be 25.....even better sia....I got 7 in my class.........wahahhaa...my overall only 53.2% I am just too surprise to say that.....but nothing to be proud of la.....28 cant go poly....haizzz
I dunno who the big mouth spreading I like a gal................now the many sec4 and some sec5 know I like this gal.......kao....if that gal know it....I can go bang my head against the wall liao....actually I dunno much about this gal.....it only the feeling.....however I am quite fond of her only....that all....she like someone else alrealy....so it`s quite impossible for me to be so stupid and jio her.....I bet will kanna reject one.....cos she also dunno much about me too.....from this point...it is sufficient enough that I wont make it one...
I was stunned when today a friend(female) ask me who I like now......kao!!on the moon cake festival also got another ask me the same Q......then they tell me that I like this gal like that gal.....dot dot....comon la....some are alrealy last year thing liao lor....and do I look like that flirt flirt type???I am not despo too!!Yuck.......then when she ask.....the other gals also start to blah blah.....waa sia.....shoot me sia...lame sia!!!Right now I actually is neutral lor......NEUTRAL!!!I dun want to get attention liao.......haizzz haizzzz
Oh ya.....the mock exam had started ....but sad to say....I was busy playing game instead of studying......stupid friend who introduce me new game.....then now addicted liao.....arghhhh!!Waa liao......just now spend the whole night playing.....sob sobx........but nice game.....wahahahahaha
But I will study....this time round no play play liao.......hope I got the will to do so....
**It`s not anyone who is stopping me....it is me myself who is hesitating to progress**

Yuppy!!!!

2004-09-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

I had know many of my subject paper except english......I left one problem and that is the mark of my english paper..........the paper must at least be 55.1% in order for me to pass overall average for my prelim.........I not quite happy becos I didnt really prepare for my prelim.....in physic.........I DIDNT touch the book before going to war!!! My chem got 62 but thank to physic.....I get 51 overall .....................I got c6 for chinese,combine humanities,science.......F9 for math and B4 for art............total for L1R4 is 28(excluding math) 31(using math)
According to the poly intake..........there isnt any course avaible for me to take......however due to the new opening of the republic poly......it is possible to go there.....however what I fear now is my math.........I do and only hope that the math paper for the O level will be easy or else I cant take it.........whahahahaahha......
Haizzzz......my 5th di Roy lost his hp........he lend to other and the other lend to other and then lost in action.............tiaozzzzz.......ytd msg him no reply..........no wonder.....oh well........tml is the exam for the other level..........so I wish everyone good luck and wish them pass with flying colour ............gan batta!!
**education is meaningless when one see no result of the future it hold**

matashi!!

2004-09-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

Alot things had happen during this period of time........I was shocked in some matters......one is a good friend of mine.......she had revolt against her best friends ,good friends and friend.......all are friends la.........although I still haven check it out throughly however the situation is not her side.....even my 5th brother and his wife had turned against her......many sec2 also now turn against her......this is completely insane!!!
Never in my life I had met with this kind of things.......I did check out what is going on....it' s appeared that it my friend who was in the wrong.....I cant presume or assume anything yet....her god brother will alway stand at her side......I do not know is this thing really settled anot......my 5th brother do told me of the event taken place.......I also did check with other in secret.......now I know some of it.....
I felt very strange about her so call of good friendship with her friends.......the friendship just break in one night......her other friends stood on her enemy side.......it a situation of one against the mass............I feel so sad for her.......she being slapped.......that what I heard also.......I did find her however I can sense that she did not really told me all.......everyone got their own story........even my 5th di had his own story........I was in a dilmema when he ask me who will I help.............my first reaction was to help my brother......he my brother no matter what......however another was a person whom I respected of her spirit.......since thing is still in hand.....I will remain silent till the time for me is needed......but that wont happen....wahahhahahaa......
She must have thought that all her friends like her .....but in fact not really......the relation with them is as plain as water.......betrayed and humiliated just in one shot.....I know she is shattered by this incident.....the problem does not lie with the betrayers but the victim herself.....I understand she may thought I betrayed her too.....however in fact......it is a fact.......imagine that u had many friends.....however u are being ignored and slapped in school causing alot of accomdation and just in one night......best friend turn to worst enemy and worst of all.......no one come to your aid except just your god bro.........even though it alrealy happened......however thing will start to spread and the pressure of meeting enemies daily in school cause stress and unhappiness......who are now your friends????
This is a great lesson for her too.....she will realised that it's her attitude that bring her downfall....... and in that night.....she may had found out her true friends and the mask of the sin that her enemy bear......haizzzz.......I hope she can pass this test given by the god.....
Ok....next thing......I began msg the gal whom I get her no but didnt sms her till the next week.....although she seen a quiet and gentle gal........but in fact.....she very talkative and also very nice to chat with.....she sometime abit lame....however I like it.....wahahahahaha......however these few days.....I sms with her too much....I wonder what will she be wondering.......I did get fond of her....however is only fond of her......she alrealy had someone in her heart so I guess it another impossible task to accomplish....it will be very hateful to lose such a great friend too.......the moment I left this school will mean the loss of many things which I had.....let the friendship ,brother and sister relationship continued............leaving this school mean new life for me......I had gained what I need in this school and also learnt what I should had in school........5years in this school...............I will missed it.......haizzzz......hey!!how come I talk until so far!!!
okok.......now still moon cake festival.......I truefully wish everyone happy moon cake festival......dun play too much fire......kanna burn dun saY I curse one : pppp
**it lead to u that heaven is on your side yet in irony it the opposite**

Fun man!!!

2004-09-25T01:42:00.000+08:00

Ahh......quite a long time that I write my diary.....very busy this month....totally being booked....exam had me booked.........however I still continue playing game despite exam had alrealy started.....I was quite sad because I didnt really study and at this rate I will definitely lose to wei keat.....haizzzzzz.......
today was quite awesome......it was the most boring performance I ever seen in my life..... : x oh yeah............I still enjoy alot of thing.....now my brain isnt functioning well....so I had to stop.....hahahhaha

Damn tired......

2004-09-15T01:38:00.000+08:00

today the chem paper was quite okok.....however I cant get an A ......I didnt do some of the question and some answer written are not sure sure correct......after the test paper....me and afew friends went to bukit timah to play........it the sec4 vs the sec5 in Cs(counterstrike)hehehe....
However sadly.....quite a number of the sec4 didnt make it..........and the sec5 had outnumber alot them...............however we mixed and play for quite a long time and I enjoy it myself......I somehow dun like peng yu attiude......he the one who didnt really play CS and then he play gunbound.....I wont mind about it.....however yet he persuade huan yeong ,chee hau and kelvin to go home early..........waa liao le.......if he want to go home go alone la......what a wet blanket he is.........haizzzz.....not sporting sia.....
Then I went home with the sec4................and hmmmm.............I spent more than $10 which I lend from wei cong.....haizzzz........wonder by next week will I be able to return the full amount to him anot.......we play for almost 6hours!!!My eye hurt alot when we walk out into the sunlight.......but it recover after sometime......
Then we had dinner together.....out of boredom....I decide to msg a gal name germain.........I got her contact last week yet I didnt have the time to msg her to make friend.........I thought she like chen ming but in the late evening......she told me she like someone from outside........oh well...............I no comment.......Ah ming definitely not interested in girl.........for unknown reason..........he never seen to a girl of his choice.......last year with ying jia.......he also heck care heck care like that...............when I ask him......then I realised his some of his character.....
O level is up..........I now rarely contact with him anymore......I just somehow dun want to lose him at all.........after all he is my 4th brother I had bebrothered for more than 1 and a half year..........I frequently wonder did he treat me as the way I treat him??Haizzzz.........I had no idea.............but bro is bro............brother forever!!
Now damn tired sia...............just finished my math revision .........didnt really get into the root of it yet..........I now just hope I can pass..............good luck for everyone for tml paper
(grumbling that it his facult ..........arent thou just an excuse to covr yourself?)

chong chong!!

2004-09-14T03:52:00.000+08:00

Now is very early....about 3:52.....I wake up so early just to finish my revision in my chem....I am quite surprised that I wasnt tired at all....but fulll of energy.....hmmm....hope I can get good grade.....alright!!

exam near.....oncOmiNg!!!

2004-09-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I wrote one diary but thank to the stupid computer...the whole program suddenly crash and there goes one of my diary....I was so lazy to type again so I decided to save it for today to continue....
I had recently borrowed some new games.....shoick man!!What more exciting is that next week is prelim and there I am....busy chonging to finish the 2 games I lended.....these few days I didnt really had anything interesting except I remembered the second month of the gal whom I gave up.....time is really fast....so fast and there goes 2month......I sometime do wonder.....just wonder how ,why,what and when................
Oh well........I must prepare for this coming exam.....I had alrealy 2 challengers liao.........I cannot lose to them or else I will have no face liao............where can my face go to!!
**live for the future of the unseen**

jealousy or ???

2004-09-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

Today I heard of many tales..............out of which is that I heard many sec2 are unhappy with me..............hmmm.....just becos of kenneth and alvin??
Nope.more than that............because someone claim that I was flirting with sec2girl who alrealy had boyfriend................tiaozzzzz..............who???I did know many sec2 girls but only contact with some only............almost none had boyfriend at all.............so who???And It is madness to be third party..........who want to be???It is ridulous!!!I alrealy sec5 liao.........I knew the disadvantages of being a third party...............I had no gal in my heart currently..........so who could it be??
All boy flirt .............the meaning of flirt is talking with gal.........any boy could talk to girl are counted as flirt alrealy.............. they alreay flirt with other liao............and only say me......isnt it rubbish???Do I seen like those who are alway very flirt???Do I seen as one??
haizzz.......only those who know me well will understand me.................they claim I was a bully and like to fight.......siao!!!
Why I start to fight is because to protect..........protect someone I care for ............bro,sis and friend...............is it wrong to protect them??I do fight for the sake of my honour..........to let those who are younger than me to insult me and bully me.............let them disrespect me??Then where could my face to go??I never intend to fight .............with anyone in the school........I believe that we are in the same school and should help each other not quarrel or fight with each other................
people claim that I bully them.........however do they have proof when the person itself was in the wrong??Why does people like to spread rumor which was never true at all??Why do people never learnt from mistake and continue to make mistake??why do people get jealous when seeing it stead flirting with someone else??
I only talk with girls and they say me flirt..........tok until like thet never talk with girls before like that..............if got stead..........why worry or jealous when seeing people flirting with them??
To me stead is a part of love.........one of the aspect in love is trust..........dun they trust their stead at all???This is a sign of selfishness too..........people cannot be selfish in this kind of thing or else they will be the one in the losing side.........................
I dun care what the other say about me now.............I have done nothing wrong to them or to the heaven..........I am not guilty of anything..........I give up on many things now.........it their life not mine..........I will be the one rising not them.............I wun give them guidance.........let them reget for themselves........let them realise that whatever I told them is true........people only reget when thing really happen..........fine with me............
**jealousy from the heart..........falling with the shadow where no light could shine on**

..................

2004-09-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

These few days I am too lazy to write any of my diary.......yesterday was teacher day celebration.......I dun really like the cross country.............I had a competition with my basket team members that whoever is the last will be beaten up by team mate........I had confidence and took part in this game.........
Everything was well.......I run untired and entirely no problem when I realise that one of my shoes had untied by itself.........I couldnt run properly as it affect my speed greatly.....so in the end I stop and sad to say.......that the end..........dunno for what reason I couldnt run anymore.........I shouldnt stop at the start.......so that the end....
Next is the performance ........everything to me is boring except by my level............I was lucky to back out the last minute becos I hate the Norshan..............want me to wear gal costume.....dance like a gigglo.........NO WAY!!!The show turned out to be the best performance for that day............everyone turn high when the show start........I was atonish.........but I enjoy the performance.........after that .......me and afew of my friends run away by climbing out of the school from the back gate........hehehehe.....
I went back to my pri school..........I didnt achieve my primary objective at all..........however I am happy enough to see my primary6 form teacher.......I didnt really talk with her after all she was having her lunch and it is quite rude to interrupt someone who was having her meal......I was happy to greet her.......
Then I went to play badminton and didnt go out with my 3di .............I wonder is he angry with me anot............then for today me and my bro spend all the time watching vcd.........orhhhhh.........SHOICK!!!!
**Thing that may seen unworthy may not be true....is how one treat it**

Bored.......................bored......my hp.......haizzz

2004-08-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

Strangely enough......I get quite well without hp during these few days.....perhap there really no one to sms to.........somehow I lost all my objectives in my life........although I still haven forget my goal and dream but I could feel that I am feeling weak to continue my life.........I broke my oath twice.......it is as good as breaking a promise.........how can I gain trust from anyone when I betray myself first.......haizzzz.......
And becos of the last fighting incident.......new somehow had spread to many.......thus I am worried that about how the other will treat me.......a bully or a gangster.......I do not wish to let people to know about this kind of stuff about me..........I believe that I can show my potential in other good ways........study or other.......but not in fighting or whatever.........
I knew that I am branded by teachers this time.......I have nothing to say or whatever.....it is history alrealy........there really nothing to care about except on how to prevent such things happen again........however I dun think it is easy........because it is due to the other people who start first.......
I suddenly feel that I am becoming evil.......sort of.........I have started to change.......guess it not a good thing.......however I am really tired of peace now.....if being hit....reliate without mercy.........and I will say that from today onward....I will no longer tolerate anyone who taunt me.......I make sure......make sure....I make that person remember me forever........if it mean sending them to hospital........time and time again....I had been restricting myself from this senseless and meaningless quarrel or fighting.........avoiding fight times and times again....should I still submit to my fate??
Future is created by me.......I will change the fate myself..........I terminate anyone who try to piss me.......it the blood that make me boil and the blood of my enemy I wish to flesh on........break their bone and make them remember for the rest of their life.....torture them cruelly to teach them a lesson.........never pity them for they had nothing good to be forgiven.........

sway sway la

2004-08-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

Today I didnt really sing in the chinese talent time........I cant remember the lyric and somemore the mic cant use!!!But only for a few moment but I alrealy dun feel like singing.............then in the end I was kanna shoot by gao fei and wei cong.............I had disappointed them sia..............I so sorry.......
I didnt get back my hp..............ayiooo......me dunno how to say sia.......arhhhhhhhh.....................haizzzzz...........then got sec3 the kelvin find me for unknown motive........however nothing bad happen la.....whahahaha.....then my sec4 friends rush to find me and ask me that I got being beaten anot.....lol............sec5 liao......doesnt mean I easily to be pushed with.....
I do admit that it is my mistake to fight.........but partly is also on the opposite.......haizzzzzz....................................................
**what do one gain from a fight he won.......to me is nothing but hatred from the victim**

perhap it fate....

2004-08-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

Today that the worthy thing to be in my memory is a fighting incident....I was in the school during the evening for the tuition given by Miss tan.........I was late and when I reach there.....I didnt see Wei keat and Miss Tan.........so I went to the hall and found gao fei....I tok with him for Wei keat.....but he dunno so I go to canteen....then I notice a group of boys staring at me......me tiaozz back at them la.....then they jeer*........kao....
I was alone that time......that wont be their advantage anyway........so they thought they can bully me this sec5 student!!!Wahahahahaaha.....what a foolish thinking......anyway we quarrel...then one of them even say"I today dun want to fight with you...."
NA bei!!!......come la.....I one against u all 13 people also no problem......but came Norman and many other including my dear sister joan.........tiaozzz.....me set as a bad role model to her sia.....I feel so ashamed that time.............so in the end....I decided to left better to avoid this meaningless confrontation.........
I went to classroom only to find that Wei keat isnt there too.....so I went back to the canteen when the group of boys came down.....they stare at me too......but this tme they cheer .....I got see that they are cheering over the confrontation they had won.......then they sing and walk to the field........then some action in front of me..........well....then one of them come and sit opposite me....me politely ask him wat class but he say what.....I ask him thrice before I insult him in chinese u deaf arh?.....he immediately stand up and confront me.....lol......look like he not deaf yet.....anyway during the quarrel....his friends join in and then in a short matter of time......I was confronted in front of about 13 people.......so in the end......dunno who say one on one la.....but I said out loud....I one on u all....come la.....
however this time.....the sec4 and 5 people who know me gather around and pull me out of the spot trying to calm me down.........I was pull to the carpark when they still continue their stuff.....and finally the fight was sparked off by the same boy who insult me by saying to me that I today dun want to fight with you......well....he push me first.....it a act of violence......I was alrealy hoping mad for them to hit me first.....man.....had to wait for so long sia...I push that boy twice but someone suddenly grab me from the back....I knew that it must be wei keat this time.......the rest of the boys charge at me......I shoot out my fist and hit some of them hard ......they claim I hit them very hard......however I didnt really use all my force when somemore I am unable to move freely with someone trying to suppress me .........I managed to dodge all the fists they give in one time....then got one indian trying to land a punch on me.....but I step back easily even though wei keat grab me tightly.......after that I give him one of mine and hit his head..........cool.........I injured four of them..........just imagine I use my full force....anyway the fight was a short one.....haizzzz.....
Then the fight was disrupted by Miss sardina......then I realised that alot of people was watching the fight .....luckily I didnt injured by them......I wanted to see how much I had progress in my fighting tactic and skill sia...too bad that it happen in school........I called Hongming,Jasper,Jacob and Wei cong during the quarrel and only wei cong called was made successfully......I didnt call the rest cos I knew they wont be coming to school at such time........and my hp will blown if like that!!!
The fight was finally settled thank to OM......he didnt blame me at all......I feel so surprise......anyway both sides apologised to each other.....I felt relieved actually.........however during the 2nd confrontation......join in terence......he shout at me saying that sec5 mean can anyhow beat people arh.........dot..........althought it a fact that I confront kenneth however he isnt hurt by me at all...............he the one who started the problem.........and even involved me directly.................I fought with these kids mainly is to let them understand the conseqeuce they will never expect............they had to paid for their arrogant behaviour............this also applied to kenneth.........now I was caught red handed............tomorrow I knew that the other sec5 will say me one............they also got fight one lor..........although they will question me why not outside fight and why didnt call them................I wont escape from my guilt............what the different from fighting in school and outside??
They are more worst lor......police le............school teacher only..............haizzzz....I ended up had my hp confiscated and parent being informed...........I dunno wat to say .........however I swear that the sec5 people wont beat people anyhow.........we are entrusted with alot of things and we gain the most power in this school.............as a senior student....the worst crime is abusing authority.................since I break it today.........I had to pay for it my self..........haizzzzzz
**offend the unoffended start the seed of hatred and end in destruction**

Rumor is alway rumor.....haizzzz

2004-08-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

Today I was chatting with a good friend ....she knew about wat happen yesterday......cos she heard it from her friend..........I wAS shocked to heard another side of the story!!!
It rubbish!!!NONSENSE!!!DUn act like a victim when the mastermind is you yourself!That kenneth sure good in acting and giving excuse......why cant he just accept the reality....it a fact that many dislike him........do he need to have to make everyone hate him when it is a no return point???I do admit that it is my facult to use violent on a sec2..........mr Raja just told me.....I am a senior student and be a role model for the other.....not abuse the authority of it..............I understand what he mean.....however words alrealy cant be taken from him.......the only way to make him understand is by violent......I do know that many wont be happy.....me myself isnt happy too......why Do I need to waste my time and breath on him???I find him is to let him know that not the correct way of being a man.............and want to help him.......
Look like I have to check on all classes as soon as possible.......I make sure who the spreader.......haizzz.......why cant one understand that sometime downfall is a blessing in disguise???
Oh well.........if there next time......I guess he wont be lucky anymore.....cos I alrealy rally more people joining me in his case.......the more the merrier...hahazz.....but more people punch him la.......no more slap....lol.....punch is more painful than slap............I know he only sec2.......not mature la.....but age so young alrealy like that......so unacceptable......haizzzzz....

.....settlement talk........haizzzzz

2004-08-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today I went to find a sec2 boy name kenneth.....I didnt wanted to find him la........is that he very guai lan.....how it happen.....here goes the memory of mine....
Last time....the first time that he make me notice him is during the april.....I was toking with my mei mei joan......while chatting I saw him staring at me........even thoughI stare at him ......he continued to stare at me.......I wanted to confront him however I dun want to spoil the mood between my sister and me...so I stay low.....that night I check out who is he and wanted to beat him up the next day for no respect.......however my 5di roy told me that dun beat him.....cos they good friend.....so I decided to let the matter rest......
however this week.....one of my bro jereld told me about him again......complaining that kenneth slap him and alot of other negative incidents.......in order not to let him take the doom of himself....I told jereld to warn kenneth not to guai lan anymore.....however instead of listening to my warning....he taunted me....by telling him and some other "who is kaizhi??That extra guy arh???tell him come find me la.....as if I scare lor....".............This is enough of me to sit back......I wonder why he say me extra???
Last time dunno when...he and jasper almost get into fight......the thing which is very obvious is that kenneth can never win jasper.....in order not to let both parties hurtz....I quickly went to stopped the quarreling....I am helping him alrealy that time......I dun expect any good deed repay.........however this is how he TREAT me by backstabbing me!!!!
Another one of the reason is that he slap one of my bro jereld.........he started it first anyway.....and lastly is that the sec4 arent not happy lor......I dunno jasper will go find kenneth anot.....but if that happen......something good will happen.........I do like to see how badly he will be beaten for being too guai lan................
Not I hate him or what.....I slap him and confront him is mainly to make him fear me......I want him to know that with this kind of attuide.....he will be beaten by other in the society which is more worst..........he only sec2 and I know he can change into a better person.....he will need to learn from this lesson.....if he still doesnt......I dun know how to help him.........
Anyway someone just went to find dickson about this incident.....dun be idiotic lor......dickson is also one of me brother........dun try to make us quarrel over this lor........if I know who that curplrit I will break his shoulder!!!
No one is perfect....I do understand that.....however the problem is that.....this is not a excuse......if u think u got someone look after u then u can guai lan to other orh then it is a grave mistake to think of that........when u do that outside where help cant be given.......u will definitely reget...................I been through this thing before..........and that one of the reason to quit gang...................people wun accept your existance if u are that type who alway guai lan.......
Although I settled mine....however because I didnt call the sec4 to join in the talk........thus the sec4 problem still solve la...jasper and his problem not solve yet..........today is 2 on 1 maybe tomorrow is 15 on 1..........haizzzz......kenneth arh.....think maturely la........
**if one cannot learn from it lesson then history must repeat to let one submit**

Finally!!!

2004-08-22T23:26:00.000+08:00

When I was going to update my blog......I realise my whole webbie turn wrong.......and then finally I realise that someone hacked into my account?!?!?!?
OH.......well.....never mind......this blog webbie is still under contruction and upgrade.....I lost my musicbox code and some other.......tiaozzzzz.....
Now is the seven month..........although I got see thing* only once but I heard alot of funny* sound in my house.............that time is 2.25am....I was still rushing on my art..............oh well........I become afraid again......tiaozzz.....maybe too long never see and heard this kind of things* liao....
Today and these few days ago arh........I dunno wat I really doing except trying to meet with all my sec2 sisters and discuss witht them for the subjects they wanted to choose....I dun want they to choose the wrong subjects or else they pek chek.........
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................................................I forget alot of thing liao........oh well....that it tonight...
**Beyond all hope where darkness lurk**

...................................

2004-08-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

haizz.....my art haven finished and tomorrow have to pass up all......siao la.....next week dead line is up too.....look like I will be in trouble liao.......haizzzzzz.....sigh.....
****
A word that left unspeak,
A fool that fool other,
A hero that fall too early,

A story which had no meaning,
A content which yet filled with excitment,
A ending which was eager to be unfold,

A story of mine waiting to be unfold,
A sentence that I long wanted to tell you,
A critical moment where stars change,

A time specially created for you,
A tide where it shall no longer foil,
A reply from the bottom of your harth,

A desire of loving you........

oh....I dun even realise......hahazz

2004-08-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today arh....My friends told me that today is the second day of the seven month which is hungry ghost festival in chinese cultural .I was surprise because I dun even realise that it is alrealy seven month.......hahaaha.....then they all say to go to the back to the school later night.Today also very tired......in school keep on doing math on my OWN!!!.....wow.....I never do work on my own auto one....I need people to push one.....but now I can feel it.....I feel afraid.....very afraid to fail in my O level.....maybe that will explain why I started to reivse my work these few weeks.....it is very tiring and sometime I do slack or lose my focus .....but I managed to get back to my path.....it take alot of determination......I now alrealy get busy and tense.......stress sia...abit la... but not much la....perhap by this week I will finish all my Art.....hope so la.....
**for the sake of a paper.....People study like hell.......worthy mehzz??**

what on earth......

2004-08-16T12:16:00.000+08:00

Just now dickson told me to go to his house to stay overnight to play.....I wanted but thank to my parent so it actually a fat hope for me la........he also told me that hiutung mother found out their relationship.........tiaozzzzz.....her mother why seen to known everything sia......or is it someone sabotage her......kao....I will kill that sabotager.....
I now started what will happen next.....this happening seen too unexpected after all....I remember that yesterday night I had his fortune told about their relationship.....I remember clearly a 2spade.......even thought an Ace spade is the worst however 2 spade is only after it......which isnt a good sign......a flower which is very unusual too......becos that number dun fit in at all.....diamond cards are the only acceptable thing........out of 10 cards he had been given only one is flower.......there are hearts and almost half of it are heart......with the number and pic....it is a good sign............oh well...I dunno how to explain....too long didnt touch this kind of thing alrealy.......but I guess that the 2 spade is the cause for this happening..........however I think that the flower card ,dickson had been given is a new solution.....which mean miracle may happen.....oh well.....all is destined alrealy.......no point saying all this.....
today I know that my team singing is being selected in the final.......KAO!!!SO TYCO!!!I am so dumbfounded by that time and really surprise when it is confirm that we qualify......wei cong keep on sing song to me and also gao fei........tiaozzzzzz.....happy until like siao .........today is my O level oral too.......to me is quite ok......and I am very sure that I can get a Distinction in it........it is not the to act stupid in english anymore.........pretending that my english is poor too everyone is very diffcult sia.......even a teacher can be fooled just by my monthly result......wahahahahahahahaha.......oh dear.....must sleep liao......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
**Since it happen,then make use of the situation to turn it into your favour**

so boring.........

2004-08-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night after making my previous blog......dickson told me Norman is angry that I didnt accompany him.......then after that I went to dickson house only to know they buff me......tiaozzzz....me so sleepy alrealy.....so tired.......oh well........I did enjoy la....playing poke card and some other like true and dare........calling someone around 3am just to tell thst person I love u.....so lame sia!!!!ayioooooo.............................................
today almost get wake up..........phew.....then go there...........quite boring la.......so today also the same.....boring..........tml still got school.......maybe have to quarrel with a teacher again.......oh dear.....ayia just hope for the best....
**dark ritual(sama)**
prayer of all thought,
embracing all faith,
utter of emptiness,

sea of unseen,
mother earth of unmove,
wind of unfade,

ye pray thee for power,
grant ye my desire,
let it be use for mankind,

ritual of the dark,
ye bleed in favour,
feed on my offering,

grant ye thee power of ya,
sama dutto isyouno

POP.......so boring sia.....no fun at all sia.....

2004-08-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

Today is the POP(passing out parade)so end my final year of my npcc career......OH...WELL....I now aiming for CI course.......I really wish that I could be one and come back to teach....
Just now got one of my brother christopher told me about my another brother dickson.....then after that I go find dickson to check this matter.....then dunno wat really happen and then we quarrel.......tiaozzzz...........haizzz.....but luckily it all over la......to me arh......hmmm.....dickson really need to upgrade himself la........me wun say anything about him lor.......Norman is right.....let him taste the bitterness first......only when one fall then one wil>.. and i am enjoying it so much coz of jackie chan..

oh well oh well........

2004-08-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

I break my rule by logging in MSN......I cant control sia.....my hands itchy then finally I give up.......so in the end.....I log in MSN.......tiaozzzzz.....wat rubbish.......
Today I had took part in the chinese talent time.......me forget all the lyric the moment I stepped into the hall.........well....when it my turn...I stare at the lyric one last time before I went to stage......I am very surprise that the whole hall got clap to encourage me not like the previous candidate......only afew clap....waaa....I never know I so famous.....wahahhaahaha.....oop....boost too much liao.....I start to sing until the fifth word like that when I forget everything......so in the end...I took out the paper and simile at the judges telling them that they wont mind bai....so I continue but the whole hall was filled with laughter........it very lame to sing with lyric....when u are alrealy supposed to remembered all the words alrealy......oh well.....I guess that I am the laughing stock for today......hmmm....about my singing arh.......waaaaaa................feel like crying sia......I dun really know how I really sing lor......everyone told me okok......but their okok never tell me their standard lor......then in the team singing.....WORST!!!!I kanna suan by chang yi ,gao fei and wei cong.....sorry la.....but alrealy like that liao lor......we did try our best liao.....haizzzzz.......
****
Bell that ring on that sunday,
I knew that it not for ye,
however ya are the bride,

standing afar from the church,
under a huge withered tree,
the last leaf fall in front of me,

happiness and joy fill the ground,
but not the distant land I am standing,
only sadness and jealousy stand now,

seeing ya moving into the car,
reget and remorse rose,
reget for not able to convince,
remorse for not showing my love,

now ya being snatched away,
the car finally left and disappeared,
the church now is lifeless,
no soul is there not even the priest,

but there still someone there,
and that me weeping in sorrow,
perhap that my destiny........

no wonder why only $5....nia

2004-08-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

Today by right I am supose to go IMM to see the twins......but yet landed up in jurong point watching the twins effect2......well...I didnt reget it,after all I alrealy decide to join my friends....but I feel wasted for I know that the twins wont be coming to singapore so often......oh my oh my.....perhap should tomorrow then go watch movie....haizzz....hahaha.....I guess I had to wait for afew more year before I could meet them personnally......lucky hiutung got go .......wonder got who go too......
Today I got sore throat......can kill me!!!Talk so happily halfway suddenly a piercing sensation pop out in my throat leaving me unable to talk at ALL!!!Then become so quiet that the person sitting behind start to complain why I so quiet out of the sudden......tiaozzzz......what a strange classmate I have......now arh.......getting no better......tomorrow is the singing competition......great and shit!!!Come at the wrong time....if my throat cant be cured by tonight....I guess.....I can go die liao.....last year in this school liao.......just want to take part in something ........I now still cannot remember the lyric......lame lor.....later sing halfway then forget the lyric......AHHHHH!!!......tonight better start memerzing the lyric......2 songs!!!team and solo......hmmm......sore throat somemore......I wonder how am I able to sing for tomorrow......
Just watching the twins effect2 orh......the ticket only $5....then becos everyone was late for 30minutes.....me no comment.....then only tell them this sentence....now we are watching $5 show....oh well.....the story was not bad la....to me is comedy lor.....and adventure and love......the strangest thing is that it did not continue from it previous movie.......It had a new setting and storyline.....everything change but this time got alot of movie star.....Eason ...then zhin chen wu....twins....jackie chan and alot la.......the ending is that the real king give up his throne just to accompany his love.........the ending place was a very beautiful scenery that I could ever imagine......plain that were rich of blossom yellow flower......it skretch all over the screen and I could see any other extra thing........it is so romantic sia........if I have the chance...I definitely bring my love one to that place to.....let her sit on the water bufflo and me leading the way.......wahahahahaha....but orh......singapore dun have this place la.....if have arh.....I guess the place is no longer romantic liao.....crowded with people liao......then the place being trampled......tiaozzzz.......Now I begin to realise that I had change alot ......alot........I guess I am going to become a villian.......too tired of becoming a good guy alrealy.......
**weaken**
darkness seep from the crack,
posioning the mind and heart,
turning one into a monster,
monster that was once a hero,
irony now evil truimph over good,
though the story didnt end,
the ending may end like this,
the world of passion I ever lived,
had now change to hell.
where is my holy paradise,
perhap it had alrealy crumpled,
destroy by the hatred that overwhelm me,
the angel that watch me carefully,
is now nothing more than a fallen angel,
with all my hope and faith lost,
who can I seek help for,
but I believe someone will save me,
guide me through this darkness,
thou there could be someone,
the time now left is limited,
if that happen then it all over,
the past form of me is lost forever.....

Abit......weird....oh....who care

2004-08-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

Today is the first time of stopped logging in the msn...T__T......dot dot dot.....Today me having a sore throat and now still very pain!!!AHHHH!!!!Oh well......I return home straight away to have some rest.......me drink alot of water alrealy but still no good.....oh my god.......
Then in the reccess ask friends to accompany me in the twins at IMM but all cant make it because their prelim alrealy started.....tiaozzzz....then for express one.....all also cannot make it....seen to me that I am the only one who is vey relax.....kao.....like that really got problem liao.....Then just now jio a gal to accompany to watch movie but after I send her the message....I remember that this outing was for the sec5 pple......wat the hell would happen if a sec2 pop out then everyone blah blah blah ......tiaozzzz......so scary........
I got my bill today.....Sarah hp was confiscated by her mother becos her bill had reached $90!!!WOW!!same plan with me but can win me by that much in bill.......too bad on her la.....dunno how she use her hp one.....lolx....she tld me that she wun be able to use her hp for about one month....her mother is a great saver.....but I just wonder letting her brother will do good anot??Later he alway go GPRS....download download games and song......later even worst!!!LOLX!!!Anyway,I quickly open the letter and siao liao.....wai dai liao......my bill was slightly better......$52.....last month was $53 like that......tiaozzzz......hmmm....oh ya...I lied to my father that is $42.....guess that I had to pay the $10 on my own liao......haizzz......I just wonder how I use my hp too......how come the call charge is $48.45?!?!?oh.......well......this month better stopped calling anyone.....or else I wonder next month bill will how much....
**Adapt and adjust to any unexpected situation**

oh...well.....so this is the end....

2004-08-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

Finally the dead line is up.....seen like a perfect timing to me too....although life without Msn seen abit strange but guess I have to adapt to it.....guess that I wun be contacting alot of people liao......
Let me think.....oh yeah this thursday is the twins coming to IMM!!If possible I must go and see see......oh well.....let me think arh.....hmmm.....oh dear nothing to tok for today...guess I pass it for tonight too..... I had done whatever I am suppose to....I dun reget......
**untouch passion**
Whatever one had seek may not be return,
whatever one had hope may be fruitless,
whatever one action may not be impress,

passion born from one was the inital sign,
passion pass on to another was a process,
however the ending may not be turn out as expected,

I do love one in the past,now and future,
entangling the warm passion in my harth,
I had done what is beyond my best,
Far exceeding my own limit and power,
It alway came to a unwanted ending.......

Though end a story yet start anew,
No matter how it goes in the end,
one must continue to live and fight,

Lurving u with all my passion,
dreaming of you endless in the darkest hours,
thinking of you in my brightest moment,
I just want u to feel my love waiting for u to accept,

The maple leaves that grow represent my heart,
though some wither or blown away in the clear sky,
however born new and stronger leaves,
showing you the stronger desire of loving you,

Though my life is played coldly by the fate,
I never reget knowing you or seeing you,
Because it fate that give me a chance,
enlightening me the bright side of life,
yet also the darkest side in this world,

though ya understand ya may not like me,
but I know I wont give up on you easily,
to prove to how worthy I am for you to love,
I will love you eternally with my soul ,
I will be here 1314 no matter what happen...
To mark my untouched passion for ya.....

Happy national day!!! ooooleiiiiiii!!!!

2004-08-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

These few days too busy to write....well...let me see....oh ya...I volunteer for my chong hwa tang ....setting up the stall then we went there by a lorry....shoick man....me sing songs with other....cheer also ....waaaa..dunno how to desribe this kind of excitment...then went there carry alot of things.....and tiring too....but worth it after that we went home on the same lorry...It singing time!!!I sing and sing then everyone sing together...so fun man.....wahahaha....alot of songs to sing ....then the next day is the opening....so many people sia.....I almost cant squeeze into the temple.....then after that do my shift as a counter.....selling food and blah blah blah.....it give me a taste of your own hawker center.....lol....very tiring....then after my shift..I went to other stall and see they got sell what food.....all very nice and dear.....tiaozzz.....after that me and my friends rush to esplande......shoick man.....we took taxi but only see abit of the firework......dot dot.....waste money sia......after that we meet up with other friends......we walk and walk and found ourself walk ONE big round......kao!!!So tired alrealy...then met them at the singapore river mac there.....we walk to suntec city.......and decide to have dinner only to realise that the food junction is heavily book*so many people .....cant snatch a single seat....so we went to a shopping center.......gosh!!!It alrealy 10.30.......to have dinner.....I so hungry......anyway we rush to take MRT and luckily we make it..........so end the story of that day.....
Today arh......well.....that I thought my blog had problem becos cant see anything...then msg sarah....but she didnt reply......then me sian sian and went to msg hiutung to see whether her hp really kanna confiscated by her mother......then no reply so I guess it true......I reach my grandma house then and watch the NDP.....halfway I got a msg and is from hiutung....then I know that her hp really confiscated....she was in marine bay watching the firework .......me arh.....just stand anywhere outside my grandma house can see it alrealy....too bad cannot go to the third floor and see.....later uncle not happy......lol......this year firework was really excellent.....I could see many different type of firework pattern.....got heart shaped one!!!!GREAT!!!then alot alot la.......wahahhaa....can hear the bang from the firework too....tonight....hmmm.....let see......2 more minutes before a new day.....guess I pass it tonight

It over.....finally.....

2004-08-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today was the national day parade.....The GOH didnt really perform well but acceptable thus it is quite a success.......for me arh....okok la...flag bearer only...nothing outstanding...
I went to school about 5.30am......then when I reach there....I saw zhen hao and his friend alreay there.....then I found out that the gate is still lock!!!After that.....came another 3cadets and then 2more ......then in the end....everyone climb over the gate.....hahahhahaha....I`m spiderman.....ooop...jkjk
Then after that start to prepare alot of things...then our montage got 2nd!!!Oh my god.....god must be really blind sia......this kind of work also can get 2nd......tiaozzzzz.....but got prize to take so arh.....happy la.........
I take 2 photo ...one is my beloved sister and another is a gal whom I like last year......oh mg god.....I so happy.....I say orh that kelvin must so happy that I bet he cant sleep tonight.....definitely!!Hmmm......if fate can give me a chance.....maybe I would like to jio her again.....wahahhahaa.....ok la.....serious....think so....bai.....
Right now.....I am feeling hurtzzz from no cause.....it funny......then my good friend hiutung didnt reply me today....hmmm.....just wondering what going on......................................................................................................................
**Deep in your heart.....ya know how deep ye desire is......if the heaven is touch yet cant ya feel it for yourself...in your memory....do ye exist??**

last day.......haizzzz

2004-08-06T00:52:00.000+08:00

Today is the last rehersal....the standard of the GOH isnt up to standard.....I knew that no matter how much I scold them....it is too late......I wonder what on earth is my sir up to......although I like to teach in a nice and fun mthods but it only apply in different situation....well....I left my pant in the classroom!!!Siao liao....I haven even ironed it!!!Oh dear.....going to school at 5.30am seen abit too early sia......yawnzz......I so deadbeat this week.....just now having a chat with one of my old friend christopher......he told me alot of shocking thing!!!Now I knew that one of my classmate almost commit suicde last week when his stead finally told her that he alrealy got another girlfriend......I dun like this kind of guy......never use their brain to think one....and dun even know how to cherish too....actually I dislike more in this kind of person.....haizzz.....now I wonder can she cope with the reality anot.....Man...this week suddenly then realise that I soout-dated....wahahahha....anyway I no longer going to poke in any business anymore.....I need a quiet mind to study.......however despite that what I want ,I still very worry over all my sibiling I had in these years....haizzzz
well....tomorrow is the final showdown......it will be better if it rain!!!!Yeah!!!no la.....just kidding....such a stupid idea of mine.....lol
**unnamed06**
Red leaves drifting in the dark blue sky.
swaying away sadly good bye to you,
suddenly everything turn so fast,
The scenery is now fill with blue,
A moment that cannot be forgotten,
A last chance to treasure the wonder,
For it may no longer happen again,
pick me up and place it in your harth...........................

perhap bai......

2004-08-04T22:28:00.000+08:00

Today wasnt anything so special except the match between the school and liu liang zi.....very sad sia.....liu liang zi lost!!!When I was watching the match,I remember that more than half of it members didnt turn up....when I ask from my 3rd brother....then I found out that many had quit the team during these few year........what an irony.....I thought many are good friends and that why this team is found.......
Although our team did lost but is because due to the lack of training and also some dispute between some members........we slag somemore..diaozzzz....actually more like a lesiure team......
Anyway.....in afew more days time....I will stop logging in msn.....it is time to start my revision.....even a genius need to work hard to achieve a high level......me....hmmm....forget it.....
**perhap it may happen or may not......I never know for I couldnt foreseen.....whatever seen so near to me now had became very far from my sight.......The suface from the calm water seen very safe to swim yet in the depth of the lake lurk danger.......to me....I had to end alot of things liao......perhap I have to break off with some of my mei mei liao.........I couldnt understand them despite the fact that some had been with me for more than 1 year......I feel sad in it.....Being a brother to them but yet did nothing......I do care for them but didnt take action.......it a pity....**

...................................

2004-08-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

I was too busy these few days and alot of things happen......I quarrel with my father and left the house and slept in my friend house......then me dunno liao.....today the rehersal dunno why my mind go blank and shout wrong command!!!Man .....wat a disgrace.....
**In my life....I feel that I am very happy and fortunate.....I seen the worst and the ugly side of the world...Dun ask me how and why I know....I do not expernice it but I feel it deep in my heart....the world now is no more than heading to destruction......whatever way that could amend it was too late......just like my heart......the deeper I go the faster to hell.......the harth of mine now was nothing more than a shattered piece of mirror.....each broken pieces shown nothing but the pain and confusion I had.......one who never yield will give way eventually......is my heart unworthy of being love and to love..........do I have to submit my will to the fate all the time only to find myself being a laughing stock and a failure???No matter what kind of flower I choose......I knew thorns and pricks are warning me.....even I try whole heartly......the will of their never bend........when a boat sink....there still a float but in my situation.....I might as well throw it away and drown myself in the hungry waves and have it cover my body in the great depth of the seabed with corals as my coffin and the marine being to be my visitor and friends......I knew how to cherish yet isnt there anyone who could love me and for me to cherish??A turtle which stuck in the middle of the road will die sooner or later from the heat.......should it make it to the zebra crossing or wait for no oncoming vehicles.......it a tough choice.....so confusing.......the moon,sun and stars which I talk to give no reply of my plea..........it is an irony that such childhood of mine is ending soon.......perhap.......what come will come......**

Now I knw the truth.....and I am glad

2004-07-31T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday after I wrote finish my previous blog diary,I had a sort of long lost bro wanted to talk to me......he is my da jie god di.........so by right to me he is my di di too..........from last year till now I remember that I got care for and had a bad impression on him too.......because of people telling about his bad thing and negative things that I seen it with my own eye.......currently in my mind....those who I had call upon as a brother was never any bad guy at all.........
I had a talk with him on phone only to make myself more guilty when learning of the truth......although the talk only last about one and a half hour,I had learn alot of things about him.He had change and try to turn over a new leaf........that good....but he change back again.......tiaozzzzzz........about him arh...I sense a lonely spirit......and that him.....he is easy influenced by friends.....he had quite some number of friends but the problem not many is the correct one.......He can choose to be with those other better friends but yet he choose to be with those more playful one....me dun blame on him.....I know he want to be happy.....haizzzzz......if only he could find true friend only then he can realise the real definition of friend.......
He had gained alot of infamous things......I told him to prove yourself to them...show it to them but the mind of him is too weak to resist such pressure......he claim he cant do it.........I told him my dark story alrealy and hope that he can have more hope in himself but in vain......
I talk alot of things with him.....he say he knew it alrealy....da jie also got say the same thing with me................he took it as a revision.....haizzzzz...Bro......I tell you because I dun want you to fall....the feeling of being a fallen is very undesirable...........he give himself up when everyone still concern about him..........we never give up on him.....but never expect him to give up so easily.....he thought we give up on him but there are many who still believe in him........he should try again..........When that gal god brother knew about it.....he so mad....should be...miao de arh......when he get angry.....gosh!!I cant bear to think of it.....well,miao de is the the type who care somemore his god sister le...............same as me.....wahahahaha
Today the national day parade rehersal very tired...I almost faint on the spot.....phew.....then arh.....hmmmm....suddenly realise that I do miss Npcc alot and many cadets also like me as their officer too.....I got abit of like want to cry sia......haizzzz....so touching sia......
(I still believe in you......everyone will support u...dun give up)
Bro,you do know that problems will rise against......you.....you may know the ending....but cherish what is still left....I told u......since u know you may lose it but it also tell you to strive harder for it......have some confidence in yourself....she have completely trust you and have faith in you.....do you not trust in her......fate give u a chance to be together....u have take the first step and should continue to walk up and up not out....everyone got their own dark story or dun ned to use any excuse......u are big enough .......do what ou feel is right.....dallire saman

**seen to be yet not mean to be**

Ok la .....not bad......

2004-07-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today the concert was not bad la......but because of some inconsiderate audience.....how some it spoil my mood.....clap at the wrong time....then cheer at the wrong time.....laugh for nothing.....making a fool of themselves.....what a disgrace.....haizzzz......
The storyline is quite okay......the music from the band need abit of ------only average....need to improve.....hee....oop....then hmmmm............now my brain not working.....too tired......oh no.....I forget that today I play truant........never mind....give letter can alrealy.....wahahhahahahahahaha......gosh.....my art haven do........die liao.....still ned to study too......96 days left.....
(untittled extraction)
"For your sake....I knew that it is no longer possible for me to love you anymore.For you,I knew that my actions or words no longer can give you happiness thus leaving you is the only solution.You had choose him to be your love object had clearly show to me that you trust him and have faith in him.However from his background,I am unable to tell you anymore as it greatly affect your view in him......should I be happy for your decision anot is a very confusing move......Love had no border yet there are some dark secret rules to follow....."

me think too much liao la....waa liao

2004-07-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

Finally I contact her.....then only to found out that her hp confiscated......by her MOTHER!!!!So more her mother also kapo one.....see the msg.....then I really damn pasieh!!!Waaa liao....no comment.....but during this time I think too much la......now my brain feel very carefree.....yeah...not really la.....just wonder how long their relationship can last.....wish them good luck and hope that boy can cherish this rare gift from the fate......
Today got a very stupid boy from sec2 kelvin .....he arh.....me just going back to school at 5pm then saw jereld they all then greet them ....then that asshole INSULT MY BASKETBALL TEAM!!!!I never offended him before....I respect him by keeping silent for awhile but that bastard insult again and again....me then feel angry and really want to squash him into a pup but too bad...I alrealy make a oath ever since I stepped into this school......I dun wish to break it.....However if he never change his attiude....someone will beat him up too........me arh....me just grab him and hold his neck with my arm.....never even use any power....then he like no energy.....like a feeble child who cant resist anything like that....then got 2 teacher watching and one scolding me to stop fighting.......then finally I let go and he kick me!!!However also feel nothing.....this guy too weak liao la......really si bai chi lor....common sense la......he then say what I bully small size people....dun make me laugh la .....last year I even fight with yunos and yunos ran away lor.....many people know le and somemore he taller than me by alot le........but I still fight.......u think I am the person who see size??No!!!I fight for my right and also want to teach him a lesson.....dun be so cocky la.....this guy arh....me tok with chang yi about him....he say if beat him up he wun even care....O RIGHT!!!Green light!!!
This year last year liao....feel like beating anyone I dun like.....hahaha.....but wun play too far la...wahahahaha
**Fight for the right and against the one who threaten the code of light**

hmmm......I waste alot of time alrealy.....

2004-07-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

Today go and find her hoping to clear up all misunderstanding and blah blah......then from 230pm outside the music room wait.....and wait....then go mediabyte......then about 3pm she finally appear....then she say wait.....ok......then I walk up to see see....then she run down.....and I was abot to talk....."wait arh"......dot.....ok..wait until 3.30pm.....no way I can talk to her liao.....the reshersal going to start.....mr jame lee want to see all by 3.30pm lor....so went to class......and do homework...do until sometime...I saw my da jie and went to find her to tell her my problem.....then she also told me alot of things..........hmmmm...me dunno wat to say.......
Just now at night,Talking to sarah about it too.....woa....talking to her really kill alot of time.....I dun remember talking alot but then time flew like a sparrow...so fast!!!.....she today really funny lor.....me laugh......her father the most funny.......wahahhahahahahaha....
Now left 97days be4 O level.....final touchdown....me still playing so relax....waste too much time liao.....wake up wake up......ayia.....alarm clock no batt liao.....wahhahahahahaha
**There a need to reconsider anything before u start....**

why???I dun understand......really

2004-07-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

I msg her couple of times liao.....but she nvr even reply once......me now feel very miserable.....if I know I shouldnt never say out my feeling at all......I did told her that we still can be friend but.....now she like that how am I suppose to do?!?!?!?I never know that this mistake can be so fatal..........if I know that ............I swore that I never jio her again........only to be great friend the most...............she is now one of my great friend.....I am now sadden by the loss........I thought she is old enough to think maturely........but now.......I just really no idea what to do........
just now I just talk with my sec5 friends........I never expect to cry .........haizzzz.......then they also tell me that they first time see me cry..............dotx dotx.........I wun mind who she stead with but the problem is that the person isnt really a nice person lor........I dun hate or dislike him....for I dun do this to anyone......it simple......
I wonder that boy physco her anot......I dun have anything bad to recall.....except last year grabbing a bamboo stick charging at yunos out of anger....only that time......Love have no border or any boundry.......I know that but it do have some rules or tragic will form.....
Well I just now had a good chat with my favorite boy.......man....My sight is right....he is worthy to be my first favorite boy....wahahahahahha.......tok for quite long sia.....hee....I want to know him well....but I talk about my personnal problem to him.....feel better now.......
Now I really worried about her........suddenly her boyfriend msn nick sound so funny.....a sign of betrayal from her like that.....me dunno la.....I am very worried about her.........haizzzz.....dunno la.....
**No one will know if u never speak out from the dark**

It`s fate......I still believe in u....pls dun be sad....

2004-07-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

From last night until now....me think think about the gal I like.....then becos too late then sleep....then today no energy to listen to teacher rubbish talk....me daydream all the day....shoick man.....just think about her....wahahahahhaa.....but kanna scolded by 2 different teacher....dot dot.....lame......
Today she just told me that she and her ex-stead patch.....well....me alrealy no comment liao......me didnt feel unhappy or remorse......this is fate......her choice too.....although honestly speaking that this ex stead wasnt really any good chap lor.....smoking then blah blah blah.....actually got alot of negative points la.....but love have no border....I just told her to be careful but I also wish her all the best.....if she happy.....I definitely will be happy.... ^___^
She need to learn alot of thing....especially in this kind of matter.....she need to find out what is true love....when one fall....it can finally be enlighten......sometime it like that la.....me is a good example.......me now very worried about her feeling.....her nick make me sort of panic......she should be happy.......normally pple who make the choice should be happy for they had a choice to do whatever they want like this situation.......me still wonder did she make the decision willingly anot........hope she will cherish this moment with him.......But I still like her.....no change*
Anyway,I went to see the rap dance competition......today sure COOL!!!!I like the 2B class.....very nice....yeah!!Then for another funny one is 2D.....damn lame!!!Lame ahhhhh.....me really no comment.....But I like it too.....wahahahahahah......really cute man.....lol....oop....tomorrow is 2A performing......must try to make it too....but tml got national day rehersal.....dunno la.....siao liao siao liao.....ahhhh......this week really tight......
**happiness**
I care for ya,
U know ye well,
My passion is burning,
strongly and fiercely.
however since you choose it,
I know that I only can be here......
sincerely praying for your true love......
hoping u to find pure love and happiness.....
perhap you think I am unable to give you.....
the warmth and smoothing unfading happiness....
perhap that why you choose him so willingly ......
however I wont mind.......just be happy...
promise me...believe this is the happiness....
I really had tried my best....to u give happiness.....

pek chek pek chek......damn pek chek....

2004-07-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is the celebration of my 3rd brother yuan man and my good friend guo xiong birthday...combine one...hee...I enjoy it man....wahahaha...
Then on that day...I sent msg to that gal...confess my liking in her.....I dun want to told her one but dunno why I so worried that someone will grab her before me like that.....me dunno anything la.....me just want to tell her after my O level.....why am I so straightforward one.........now I knew that thing will change and wun be normal like last time liao......I dun know.....but now I only know that I did like her alot....the first gal I like this year......recently she started to reply late....sometime nvr even reply....I was worried sick.....last night till now.....I still very worry.....but what can I do??
Then last night before I went to sleep...I counsel a friend....about 1.20am....am!!!I want to sleep liao but her msg contain of like want to die....then tok with her...persuading her....blah blah blah....then today I talk with her mother!!!AHHHHH.....what the.......then toking to her mother can faint....tell her alrealy then still ask me the same question again and again.....arhhhhhh.....call me twice liao....me dunno la....me now lovesick liao....cannot have the heart to take anymore cases liao.....
Now I really wonder is it a mistake to tell her.......I now really pek chek liao.....I dun want to suffer another setback......I now can only pray.......
**courage**
**hope**
**will**

..........match of lesson......strive!!!

2004-07-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today was the big big day...it basketball match against the school!!!Now everyone was excited and the morale is very high......I was still worrying as usual........so it became true......we lost the match badly.....the score is the most unimagine thing....I could think of.......I was very angry when I suddenly really mentally woke up in the third quarter.....I feel frustrated when my teamate had play so helpless........it like insulting us.......but too late....the score is too far far behind catch up.........
I hope this lesson will tell everyone that training is very important and there are alway stronger people than us in this world.........dun think that u are the best.......now I guess everyone is very sad........although their face still simile or grin but the aura is different.....haizzz.......I am only a normal member of this team.....I couldnt shout or watever......I feel like scolding everyone for not coming for the last few special training.....now who could we blame???Learn from history and dun let history repeat.......perhap should have a motto now......strive in excellence.....hmmm....too lame la.....
When I saw the gal I like.....then another gal whom I almost like last month.....together toking.....me suddenly feel very scare......now the gal I like isnt really toking to me......siao liao la......but anyway....I still cannot jio.....cant*.......haizzzzz......I dunno anything......me now still confuse ........hmmmm.....

**growth with promise....ripe with betrayal**

One month of darkmemory.......

2004-07-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

It is now exactly one month.....when my heart completely died down.........yes...the prophency did came true.......but.......haizzzzz.......I cant believe that my feeling fade away for her........or should I say that is because my mind had told me that u had done your best.....but she still wun accept u........why you fancy her is because of the two dream ..........it did happen but there isnt any answer saying that u will win her heart........look at what u had waste......thinking of how to win her and her face.......it no point and meaningless pushing yourself in this situatition.......it over....it common sense.....
I really put my heart and mind whole heartly but only to found out that my heart was being abandon on the ground and mind wandering around in the desert.......the feeling of it was pain enough to engulf me into a state of sorrow.........today when I was thinking about her........I just wonder....wonder.....I just feel sad when I thought about it........it the reality.....that what appear in my mind constantly.............althought the passion did burn out but it left a burnt mark.....in my heart.......reminding me of nothing but the gal whom I had dearly love before.......
Well.....now we are friend..that a good thing....but I wun dare to fancy her again......I cry each time she break my heart when we weren`t even steady yet......I dun cry so easily.....but in this situatition.....I had no comment......but friend better.....still can joke.......and tok with.....
Today while thinking about myself...I realise that I still got like 2 more gal.......siao liao!!!siao liao!!!Now what the hell is happening to me!!?!?!?!one is that my feeling for her had rekindle and another is ..................think touch by her story and then chat on phone then know aot about her and then my mind blah blah blah........but now O level first......after my exam then I will decide what to do............if I want to give them happiness....then I need control my future........education is very important....no cert=no money........haizzzz
Let me see........I remember that I fancy a gal for 3 yr be4 I give up.....then now she my sister.....I know I cannot give her this love but another type of love.......then until now whom I really like is 5pple........hey...but none successful.......arh!!me so suan one............perhap this is god will..............................................................history is history........dun let it happen again......ayia.....what am I Toking about............

**Darkmemory**
seeping slowly from the wound,
each piece of you start to fade,
completely broken and shattered,
tearing my mind upside down,
each fragile piece left a scar,
although now all had left,
the scars that were made remain,
feel and touch my heart now,
for u will know I still love u......

arhhhh....my handphone!!!!!

2004-07-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

today my hp was taken away by teacher for investigation ...it a long story la...but orhsome of my friends also kanna .....their hp now beside my hp somewhere in the staff room.......bet they are having a good time toking with each other....wahhahaha...
It just becos of a stupid msg that cos this uproar...of someone being being fingerfuck by her boyfriend.....then blah blah......
Today I went to help out in the ava room for ava thing....I was told that mrs teh told me that the her class will be watching this show......Then I put all the wire correctly.....but no screen and sound appear!!!!I was stun tio!!!Then I check and check but no problem le....so in the end I ask for help....then that doggy come and laugh at me that I put the wire into the dvd player!!!!AHHHHH......I put wrongly.........haizzzzzz......anyway,these few days....I was too lazy too write.....exam coming.....why didnt I feel fear???

**Rumor can be true or fake however they can kill**

what a bad day......

2004-07-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today I was sick......I didnt realise it till I consult my father in the evening.....by right....I was sick in the early morning......I went to basketball training....then went to gym to train.....I train until my whole body turn jelly.......I feel like flying after doing the leg excerise.....I feel my arm are like tender soft chicken wing ready to be fry.......hahaha....then we went to limbang play game.....the mouse there sux man....I became free frag sia......waa liao.....when did my skill rust so much!?!?!
Anyway.....I got the NS notice liao......gosh!!!It time for what a man should do.......but I will postpone it for I want to finish my study first.....this yr is O level orh.....wake up...someone better push me......I need help liao....ahhhhh......haizzzzzz.......the last wish this year.....grant my last wish....better save my hp bill liao.....

**Do one have to reget when one see the coffin in front of it........**

what should I really do???

2004-07-18T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today I went to the national day reshersal....I was the commanding flag bearer....so nervous....I dun know anything somemore lor....waaa liao....I damn pek chek.....however I did use this time to update myself......hope that on the actual day....everything go smoothly.......
now is very late.....I am tired.....sad...confuse.....moodly....my body ach all over.........haizzzz.....night....

**sometime thing is unpredictable.......unexpected thing sudenly rise and blinded you in darkness**

haizzzz....me so lousy sia

2004-07-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today arh.....play with 3 people.....lose again!!!waaa.....I am the first person to be out of the Teckwhye 2004 copal cup liao....sob sob....man...all strong sia....
Then tomorrow got math test...I must study now...I make sure I win her....let play play....it time to work hard....I prove to u and everyone ....wahahahahha......

**starry night**
starry star of night,
shining with warmth,
twinkling in joy,
glowing with hope,
falling down to someone,
someone who is waiting,
waiting for my arrvial,
guiding me a way to her,
The night is cold,
The road is tough,
danger lurk in the dark,
However I wont stop,
For I know she is waiting....

dun want dun want la.....as if I scare lor

2004-07-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

Today that gal arh.....I talk nicely with her that I dun bear grudge.However she still bear the grudges against me.....ok la....it`s your facult alrealy,U should be the one who should apologise to me lor.It the fact,dun be so unreasonable lor.If you want to play with me,fine!!!I am eager to see what trick you are full of.....
Today wei cong tell me sumthing....I dun believe it lor.....because most of the time he buff me one....he say wat that gal father is one of Ang* head.....dot....if this is true.......It definitely out of my control!!!Shit man.........but la......I still not scare la....but waste my time only lor.It is meaningless to fight when the whole truth is out alrealy...the truth that she the one who started it....I do not care whether I know her type anot....I am not easily push about....I know wei cong side with her one.....but never mind lor.....she cannot deny the truth.I offer peace today but she just turn it down flat.So that her decision.....hump hump....come la.....
Anyway just me ,guo xiong,norman and a few other went to the back of the school to chat....guess what!!!I saw it again!!!.......that not a good sign to me.....when I was in sec3 ......worst....can even see it sia.....that the year of my fall....haizzz....many people dun believe in ghost just because they didnt see it before.....crazy people...if I had the chance I rather give my special ability to them...this is a gift to me....left by a ghost who had appeared in front of me when Andrew was being sent to hospital and that was the moment when I was alone in school.....I was sitting wondering what the hell is going on...when there a sudden change of atomsphere....my whole skin hair quickly shoot upward!!!My head was down that time....then I saw sumthing......a spirit floating toward me....fuck!!!I was so scare that I even cry sia......the colour is green in the lower part then slowly whitish to the upper part of the body....it float about 1m high from the floor!!!The material the spirit is wearing seen to be made of silk but I dunno la....I swear that I didnt see the face....for I was too frighten to look up...I saw that the hair damn bloody long!!!so I assume is a female....but anyway I closed my eye and scream out cursing....then when I open my eye again...it was gone!!!I only closed for about 5 sec only lor.....but anyway I was alone crying again.....ayioo....I was really scare out of my wit liao.....ever since that day....I had the ability to see this kind of things......I am not proud of it because it give me fear...but I suit to it after sometime and now I am no longer scare of it.....this year,I guess I lost my ability to see but I still can hear or feel it....just now I also got feel it....just behind me sia....I quickly walk from the group......think got heard that norman also say he got feel sumthing too....great god....god bless....

**Do you really had to terminate the enemy you had branded??The will of mine will not bend to your will.....**

great!!! I am out in the first round....Teckwhye 2004 copal cup...hee

2004-07-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

Today is my match .....I lost to 2 pple liao.....one is 2:0 then another 4: 0.....kao!!!I was thrashed badly.....arhhhhhh....tiaozzz....tml last match....think confirm lose liao....my right was in pain when I play the match .should have go home rest .....haizzz
well............they call it the teckwhye 2004 copal cup....lame right???But very funny.......no prizes sia.....wonder who will be the winner le......got alot seen to be very good....jian hui ,hou yu,yong jie ,wei cong and blah blah blah......gosh.....tml I gonna be the bookies....hahaha......better make some money....wahahaha...
Tomorrow is phyisc test....honestly speaking....I didnt dun understand a single ffff thing even though I read through the book for many time....wtf!!!ARHHHH....think I wai dai liao....

oh yeah.!!Today I quarrel with a bitch!!!I haven call anyone bitch yet this year....but she is the first!!!Today me and my study group went to library for study test...then teacher pop in and call us back....she ask us why....then my friend say out the truth....he say that got people playing soccer.....kao!!!he so honest than me!!!Think for the sake of mass le......but never mind....we went to class and continue our revision....but teacher took away the soccer ball!!!I quickly talk to mrs lau but na bei....she say later then talk.....kao....then I return to my seat.....then everyone thought I am the one who sabotage and say me..trying to defend myself...I say out the truth and they knew that is shafiq not me....but then still got one asshole who still continue framing me....insisting that I am the one who sabotage...
Out of anger...and because one of my pricinpal in my life.I stood up and shouted at her..."I alrealy say is shafiq right!!"however somehow that stupid bitch dun understand chinese word like that.....she is chinese somemore lor....lame right....talk to her in a nice manner she dun want....want to me to scold her then she happy arh....of course she shouted back and all tok cock one.....the more she shouted the more she stand to lose....all her cock are useless when everyone is on my side...wahahahaha.....I finally win her once in my lifetime....well,she is the first to be unreasonable lor...but a gentlman will not quarrel with girl one....but this kind of people like her isnt any girl lor....she more like a uni-sex person to me.....appearance alrealy like shit and character even more shit......this person by right is listed under male one....if she a he....I definitely give him one tight slap and I will beat him up into a pup if my patience ran out of control.....then everyone watch the show only.....waa liao....but I win the case....hahahaha.....then she sit in her own seat beside wei cong....she stay about more than 1 period keeping quiet.....even one of my friend also insult her....wahahaha.......
she left the class in the end but she told wei cong that she will find ang* pple to find me....wat crap is that?!?!?!?teckwhye is under kun*....she really siao one....if she call call ang....I can go find yuan qing and jame for help....if kun* I got hongming and my ex regent friend......but somehow I cant contact with my ex regent friends.....oh dear.....But even without help....I can go tell my cousin.....he is definitely help me.....think he still inside kun*His rank quite high last time when I was in pri school but now dunno la.....wahahha...maybe he quit alrealy....lol
I definitely can solve this problem.....if she call anyone then call la....I use wit to defeat them.....not violence ......well,if can la.....I wun mind fighting again after all I had been fighting continously for 2 years in my primary school.....dun wake up my oldself or else she very sorry....I will torture her and make her as my puppet if I want
to.
5 years ago,I was actually one of kun*member in my primary school. infamous for fighting and bullying people.....that the time when people start to fear me....of course I am happy but when I was being bullied by my classmates one day....I knew that I was wrong....when I bully other people.....I had never felt how they feel.....since then....I stopped fighting and started studying hard which is late in august bai....PSLE.....however I still got mix with my EM3 friend....I got two boss....now first boss alrealy quit the gang long ago...and the second boss ....heard that he is still active in lot1 and heard he in charge there....but I guess he had long forgotten about me bai...hahaha.....
When I came to secondary school,I swear to myself never ever bully anyone,never depise anyone,never fight........however right now I had broke one of my oath......going to 2 bai...haizzz.....I stopped contacting with my that friends* to forget those unhappy memories......I learn to be more patience and understanding.....I do get angry but I swear rarely.....Until now I still hate people framing me......if I can shout at mdm chang for framing me then I also can shout at anyone who frame....I dun care who is that person....even mr raja or OM......
IT had been 5 years alrealy ever since I had really fight whole heartly......I think I cant fight....I almost forgotten how to fight liao....wahahaha.....but of cos I still know basic.....aim for face first......hahaha.....today sure sure very angry.....even type out vuglar words.....ayioooo.........me very mad......I am interested who she will call....even is sec3 kelvin....I am not scare......u call people ,I also can.....call Aaron,chang yi,minghan,wei jie,wei cong........not enough still got jacob,hwee,guo long.....then the sec4 and sec5 and sec2 .......come la.....u think I idiot arh!!!I will win u in everything from quarreling to O level....in the name of light I win u in O level!!!I will have the last laugh....since u want to start war.....I will fight with u......let wit defeat the u......I let u taste what the punishment u will get for your unacceptable action...let justice be done!!The horn of darkness will be blown once again to awake my evil.....u will pay!!!

**why do u want to fight when u know that peace is just a step away from u,thou ya not think for others,must the blood be flown before u are......when can hatred be stopped??**

tired.......tired.......I want to sleep.......

2004-07-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

What a tiring day......I really just want to fly into the my own paradise right now.....O level now left 111 days.....great god....time to buck up and up and up and up ......hee..........hmmm....I suddenly think of funny msn nick for these days....abit funny only la....hee...hope can let those who see it cheer up...

part 1: poor humpy dumpy had no idea that someone actually push himm off
part 2: There isnt any withness who saw the cuprlit who push humpy dumpy down
part 3: Poor humpy dumpy couldnt get his insurance becos the contract had expired yesterday
part 4: poor humpy dumpy was left in the cold since no one know how to put him together

I love it!!!!..............................Thank you!!

2004-07-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

Today the english was damn boring!!!time dun seen like moving at all....my head was swaying like a tree along with the wind....wanted to break and rest on the table to sleep...then the chemistry lesson is very fast like hell!!!I just suddenly turn to see the clock ......20minutes gone!!....lol....
Oh ya!!.....today is also one of a unforgettable day for me.....my good friend Hiutung give me my birthday present...finally.....I was surprise to see the present was so small....I shake and shake.....sound fragile....then in the end,I open it up....wow!!The present was a candle actually....not a normal candle la.....it consist of pink colour sands in the bottom...there are few seashell in there too....then in the middle of the candle is a red colour star.....there a short string for buring.....but who would be so stupid to burn it.......such a precious gift........the candle itself was covered a glass made clyinder....very nice....there a nice bandung smell too....all my friends say very pretty....wahahahaha....I did get afew birthday pressie but none are as beautiful and presentable as their one.......I love it very very very much!!!Wahahahaha......so happy.......let this memory to be unforgotten in my heart and mind.....hee

**No matter how small or cheap a present could be,it is a object of goodwill to me....cherish it well....I love it.....hee**

what is this service???so poor sia

2004-07-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

Today was one of my relative son marriage......the bride was from hong kong.....somemore very pretty ....wow.....taller than me too!!!wahahahaha.....the location is at IMM there....the resturant seen nice but the service there very poor......I feel like sleeping.....the aircon dun even seen like is working...no special light for the couple when they walk up to the stage except those smoky thingy.....the food also.....so budget.....the plate seen very big but orh the food is very small in amount........now still hungry sia....haizzz.....overrall is **poor**
Oh yeah....they didnt provide any wet tissue too!!!Man what kind of resturaunt is this???I had also had to wait for quite sometime before another food come......wait about 15minutes everytime.......so long man....ayiooo......when I get married....I definitely invite about 200 odd then somewhere in the open area near singapore river.....more beautiful and nicer....wahahahahaha....later pocket got a hole...hmmm....will I get married first anot???wahahahahahaha.......

**Committment is needed in marriage.....marriage is not a joke but a life time matter**

too tired.......

2004-07-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

me too tired for today.....nothing really happen la......

**practice make prefect but nothing is prefect.........**

nothing to write

2004-07-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

today nothing to write but only a poem.....so tata

**enclosure**
staring into a sky,
a sky of emptiness,
found myself cover,
by number of string,
each strings shown,
my great despairs,
hoping it to break,
I will need one,
one to free me.....

boring night.......tired....

2004-07-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my O level exam....chinese oral....my mind is not functioning well....so today is the best...only a few lines....wahahahahaha......good night to all....ywanzzzz

hiya......peter

2004-07-06T22:04:00.000+08:00

Today I went to school for revision.....only 2 pple went!!!me and my 3rd brother......out of 7 classes!!!siao man!!!I get to know a teacher name Peter.He is an excellent teacher to me,he teach very fast but also very well for me to uinderstand what he is talking about.This is a rare type of teacher.I like this teacher sia...so good....hmmm...I told him to give me private tuition but he dun want....but he also proimse to teach and help me all the way until the exam is over.however I have to play my part also to do all the homework and study.
I am quite nervous..........today the photo session...I brought my sunglasses....I wear it with my another friend....cool man!!!but only 2 people bring sia....not cool and fun........

**The reason why we should strive harder is because we still had things left for us to cherish not give up**

my hand!!haizzzzz..........

2004-07-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday the winner of the Euro2004 is GREECE!!!I cant believe it!!!The goal was a very tyco one .....tyco!!!Waa sia......no comment....anyway I stay at my friend house to watch and play computer game...shoick man...
Then in the early morning,I went to blk8 with just a few hours of sleep for training.I was surprised that I am the second person to arrive....at that time my left which was trainined for the new shooting skill was very tense..couldnt really shoot....then just trained some basic.....then the weather grew dark and within a few minustes............psss psss psss.....lor hor liao(raining in hokkien)lol!!!so me and my 2 friend went to my house then went to bukit timah to play game.....play for about 2 hours then went to eat then back to blk8....but I went home to sleep...very very tired.....
Tomorrow is the school again......yawnzzz......sian man......oh dear....must do homework for my counsellor and give her.....better do today or else tomorrow no time to do so.....

**untittle07**
pursing a dream not meant for ye,
yet still holding on that rope,
gradually wore out when time pass,
a new and better one is needed,
however the feeling which laid,
was not any better than the old

....22/07/04 shall not be forgotten.......

2004-07-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

Today was quite boring....I was very shocked when I recevied a call from my 3rd brother telling me that we got match against the SCHOOL B DISVISION!!!!!ahhhhhh......that is a great honour!!I was very excited but also at the same time feeling very worried....my basketball team is counted as a good team but opponent seen very strong too.....Everyone who knew about it was very excited....I went to the blk8 which is our base for training...today I was taught alot of things....I had to abolish my shooting skill and learn new dribbling skill.....so many intruction....but shoick man!!!I stayed there until near six pm and slept until just now.....now feeling refresh...
later got euro final!!!final!!!port against greece!!!History had repeat itself again!!!Oh my....who will be the winner????that a good question...I didnt bet this time for I dun want to have this bad habit......many of my friend bet on greece...I will laugh if they lose.....lol.....
tomorrow still got special training for me.....I will strive hard....we will WIN WIN THEM 1000%....yeah!!

**The proccess could be tough and bitter but the success is sweet and wonderful**

yes yes yes!!!

2004-07-04T00:19:00.000+08:00

Finally I got the code for the music....thank to sarah this time....well...I waste alot of time just to find the coe ....but somehow there isnt any display box.......the media box..........hmmm...must ask her tomorrow again....must have miss some part of the section....today is another days....good night

pray with hope and faith..........fight with honor!!!-(die in glory)-

2004-07-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my O level listening exam.....although this thing cannot prepare one but you need to be calm and relax....cannot be nervous one or else you may stand to lose.......I sincerely hope for everyone good luck in in their O level listening exam.....GAN BATTA!!!
Today was a very tiring day....I am now very weak and feeling dizzy actually....I am very please with my pot today ....I had managed to do what I expected....well......good nitezzzz and good luck for all....I will pray for everyone well being......

**starry night....be there for me....u are alway there to cheer me and console me....u are the only one who share my burden and success......**

hmmmmm.....who will win???

2004-07-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

I lost my bet on holland....lost about $25 alrealy but my friend even worse.....a few hundred dollars sia!!!Well,I bet on greeece this time.....I know it is a sucide but just pray la....u never know....wahahahaha....greece better win lor....
dunno for what reason......think must be because I yesterday night about 1.30am slept because rushing my homework....I actually sleep for 4 and a half period of each lesson.....2 math lesson then geography and 2 period of mother tongue....one thing that puzzled me is that none care about my prescene.........even better....I sleep more with ease.........wahahahahahhaahha
One more thing.....I finally had settled all my problem ......yeah...nothing to worry about anymore.....mr choo had left the school......I miss him sia....after all I was an ex-member of track and field....I had been under his teaching for 2 years alrealy.....he is really a nice person to be with......for mr Ang arh.....that guy alway tok cock one....pension pension.....tok until I will eat up all his pension money like that....wahahha.....I miss both of them......wish them a happy retirement....bye bye my teacher....

**
you may leave us
yet deep in our heart
we will never ever
forget you as our
highly respected teacher......all the best in your retirement....dun spend too much money or else u both can be the chicken king in the best bet**

lalalala....hmmm....stress!!!

2004-06-30T22:03:00.001+08:00

Today arh.....got notice given out telling us about exam and alot of things......project la then dunno la......still own homework......lol.....
Then got what stupid debate competition....waste my time also....me luckily reserve....dun feel like wasting my saliva.....hee......hmmm ,today nothing happen much.......well....me very tired...got to do my chem liao.....yawnzzzzz.

**dun worry about the distance ,just make sure you walk in the right direction**

today is really a bad omen for me!!!

2004-06-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

Today was really a bad day for me....or should I say is that these few days.....I every night will either have nightmare or unable to have a peaceful sleep.......I dunno what mistake I had done.....wait.....did I did sumthing wrong first anot.....hmmm.....bbq that time got 1 then today got 1 too......
then orh....I will alway like kanna trip myself......then just now coming home from tuition...I use a road to cross.....never in my life...I had ever wait for so long just to cross the pathetic road!!!then never mind....when I reach my level at the lift...I realise a lightbulb was broken....then never mind...I went out to my auntie house to go for some durian when I also saw another lightbulb broken down just in front of my sight.....what the toooooooot!!!!
Then never mind...I reach back from the outing with aik sin ....I was chating with my friend just within a moment when my area power supply kanna cut off!!!kao!!!Damn bad for me sia........I think I really did something wrong......my god.....forgive me....hmmm....but how???
Oh ya.....I yesterday night tried changing but change to nothing like that so in the end .....I dun wan to change my webbie location......waste my time sia....lol....
I got a good friend named miao de......I and him were walking home when we met each other.....then he told me his own story.....I was amazed but also kanna confused by him.....the story quite lame....but it the fact.....lolx...somehow I can feel that he is abit disappointed....hmmm...I got no position to say anything....after all we are in the same boat.....WAHAHAHAHAHAHA...but we both managed to land on the shore safely......yeah!!!
Today somemore orh....waa liao...dunno how to say.....test notice are given out.....then homework to be pass up......hee...me only touch the cover of all homework only......but I AM touch by mr chong word......he gave us a briefing or session......dun give up......then u are beautiful and wonder and blah blah blah.....so I have decided to work hard!!!but I now very tired and want to go sleep......too lazy to do my chem....ayia...tml then say didnt bring lor....hahaz

**No matter what had came over us,we still can be good friend regardless of anything
after all it is alrealy history,no good to bear grudge**

waa kao....siao boi

2004-06-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

Today while I was happily buying for a drink when one of my friend miao de suddenly told me of the bbq.....I was wondering how he know when he told me about my blog webbie!!!What the....how did he know!?!?!then never mind...I went for lesson and after school..I went to find my jie jie to complain about jasper.when I enter the room...then talk and talk when jue tong and ying jia claim that they got see my blog.....what did they know also!!!!
So anyway I am changing my webbie name to a better and lively one...for dark memory can be forgotten and I shouldnt be sad all the time....lalalalala...should be at my old self...yeah!!
Today really all crazy.....homework to be handed up and alot of intruction given.....man.....stress stress stress arh!!!Gosh....now really stress like hell.....must not be wear down by this thing....had to work hard....this time round,I feel that going to jc will be better....a smoother road for me...now left my hardwork .......must not be lazy anymore....wake up boy ....time to wake up...wakey wakey.....hee

**untittled05**
standing under the willow tree in the cool breeze on the grass,
there I am patiently watching the beautiful and lovely sunset,
the dusk had begin to announce the end of an another today story,
angry sea waves crash against the hard and undaunting rocks,
begging angrily for the story to go on continue and not ending,
seagulls flew around and away in the pinkish sky carefreely,
my heart begin to swell as my mind begin to get jealous of them,
suddenly came a strong wind which had greatly comfort my heart,
leaves of the willow tree begin to fly around like tears of mine,
each leaf symbolise my precious tears wepting from my crying heart,
staring at the swaying willow tree for a very damn bloody long time,
I finally get to realise that there must be an ending in the end,
I had alreay lost what I want deep in my heart and my passion fade,
however from the story of mine I also get to know something,
and that is to look forward for a better life and positive side...

I really dun want this ending.....where is the problem from??

2004-06-27T22:38:00.000+08:00

It had been nearly 2day ever since the words of "give up"kept on flashing in my mind...everyone are also giving me the same answer.....even my 4th brother gave me the same answer......I know they meant good intention......I want to give up but I also dun want to......nothing will work if this continue....I had exceed my limit too much alrealy....perhap I may had a dream again.....let just hope it is the solution......
Anyway .....I got a feeling that the second dream had happen.....during the bbq event....NOOOO!!!I dun wan the third dream!!!haizzz..........this time the third dream was not leak out....so the content is a sure sure 100% true.......no edit...
Hmm....let tok about today event....I went to a friend house to do english homework at noon...the funniest thing is that I haven finish the work despite I got suffcient time....we tok,watch TV,laughing and blah blah......then just return home......STILL HAVEN HAVEN FINISH HOMEWORK!!!!..........died liao...confirm tomorrow ppr form for me liao....waa sia.....can really die......

**untittled04**
The undying harth had died twice in life,
Yet miracle lied upon and revive me,
rekindle my heated entangled passion,
hope was then given as my last guidance,
however my last hope had ended in darkness,
leaving only disappointment and emptiness,
the shattered heart that wept for twice....
no longer had the tears to drop for ya,
the warmth in my heart is turning cold,
by absorbing the surrounding coldness ,
yet the flame in my harth haven died out,
but is struggling but is also wearing down,
how much longer will my passion survived,
I do not know but I had foreseen the end,
from the torturing of the chillness you given,
which my fragile heart will no longer bear,
had finally broke the spell of my undying harth,
creating a story which had ended in such haste,
Nothing will change the the fact or history,
predicting the role of mine ended in this story,
thou fate proclaim the end of my third era...haiz

End of the third era.........

2004-06-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

I had seriously think about it ever since last night.....although this time I only use one full day to think but I knew that it is over......Whatever I had told her.........It is really true......
How can one really realise it`s own mistake and reget......since she wun reget anything then nothing can change her mind......haizzzz....this month is really giving me a headache....
Just now I had a chat with my counsellor....actually she my good friend la...but I told alot of my secret and whenever I need someone to console me....she the one willing to lent me her ear.....from the chat.....I get to know that she and her boyfriend break......that a good decision .....that boy is very infamous after all....in flirting,smoking,fighting and others.....haizzz....I wonder now that are there still many boys who detest him anot.....I dun really like him ever since last year when I get to know how bad he is......he snatch alot of gals from boys......the craziest part is that no one can stead with him for long.....shortest is within a week and longest think is about 5week.......how ya think??
I wonder that does this type of boy treat gal as what......they never cherish what they had.....I hate people who never cherish things......It heard that this boy is getting better.....he left his gang long ago and had turn better but still had a vast room for improvement......
How I wish that I can really find someone who I love and also really love me now.....
**untittled03**
The two of us are still wandering around,
But on the other side of this dark realm,
our desire are still searching for love...

----------rush hour(part2).............

2004-06-26T14:37:00.000+08:00

I want to continue from yesterday night for I haven wrote all I wanted to anyway....The BBQ was a 95% success.....only 1 person didnt make it....haizzz...anyway everything went smoothly and even food are just nice....got quite alot of unexpected visitor too like norman,dickson and guo wei they all.....Everyone got enjoy....that the thing I want....yeah!!
Anyway it seen very clear of what she want.....I guess the this is the end of the third era......invite her a walk...she reject.....take a photo with her.....also reject.....then want to send her home......forget it la.......first 2 objectives alrealy gave the hint ....still want to against it....must be crazy.....haizzz....Norman still dare to tell me to send her home......I also know!!Invite her to the bbq and of course the rest must be auto.....but this time I guess no need alrealy.....
After that I eat and eat and eat..damn hungry sia....then got stomache......rush home then also have a good bath and straight away went to a good friend house of mine....EURO2004!!!. I got bet total goal of 2 but in the end is 1!!!France against Greece le!!!Waa kao!!!I lost my money again.....sob sob....
Anyway we play game ....until about 5am..then everyone except me and sheng huat still not tired....so change game but turn out that I also want to sleep liao...lol!!!Then we left the house early in the morning ....the first thing I did when I was in my bedroom was "boom!!!"landed safely on my bed and dozezzzz off in sleep.....then woke up by the music of fruits basket.....this time is very LAME!!!But funny and abit touching.....example"u have what I lack and I have what u lack"This is very profound.......but the moral from both of them is that they think being alone is better.....This one I dun agree...should learn to suit with people that are different with u....learn from each other*.....dun ya think???

**Every maple leaves had left their home.....what I now had is nothing more than a liveless empty heart, everything I had......had flowed into drain.......... **

.............rush hour........dot.....

2004-06-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

Today is the bbq day....must pray hard for everything......last night,I had a nightmare....it is really scary......somehow this time I dunno how to solve the riddle...every dream of mine had a meaning but whether can interpret anot is quite diffcult....when I woke up.....within sometime...it rain!!!Hey.....it had been quite sometime of raining in the daylight in this month....gosh!!!Hmm.......who is that ghostly joker in my dream.....
Well......it seem like I wun be able to write anymore diary till tomorrow......I only hope this will be a good day for me.....

.....................the day of hell for me..............

2004-06-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

Today I went to cycle with my friends about 7 pple ....we cycle to woodland causeway point there....damn tired sia....4 of my friends had no energy when returning home.....peng yu one of the cyclist keep on show off by riding very fast with them in the start but when return..........no energy liao....lol....he orh really waste alot of everyone time....just to find a gal who had us waste about 20 minutes then the funniest thing is that the gal come for not even 1 minutes then went off........then peng yu go with her somemore lor......we dun ned go home like that sia.....but anyway we went home late*.....dot dot.....he really pro sia.....toking on phone while cycling on the road with so many vechicles!!!But then kanna scolding from andrew.....lol...damn tired...
when I return home,I found a lot of problem about the bbq things....I had gave the task to my brother and a friend javin....somehow the task given was very horrible....nothing done like that....somemore still got pple haven pay yet...then i ALREALY GOT PROBLEM OF MY OWN.......now still had to take over ......and a friend went against me when I tell them about the bbq things....I had alrealy told all my mates that no matter got go anot still MUST pay!!!HE then tell me that I act big and selfish becos someone like wei quan and hemi are being forced to go......
This is the first year annivarsy celebration of our basketball team....it should be grand....I admit that it is my mistake to give my responsiblity to other but I had no time and choice.....this month had given too many problems and unhappy event happening on me........becos I feared that I do not have the heart to do it thus I realised that the best way is to let someone take over it....however I guess it is wrong....I had been organising events for them over the past 2years....they know that I am good at this.....then I still cant understand people like jasper still doubt my ability.....
He say I force everyone and everyone is not happy with me but no one dare to tell me...come on la....just imagine if I didnt tell everyone to pay....some will not come one!!This is an important event...it mark a new bonding of friendship and also many other including to have a better bonding with each other...now all had finally go for the bbq.....I know some wun be happy but I will explain to them tomorrow....better hope that I wun scold them .......haizzz
I dun want to lose any mate as each of them are equally important to me even some of their skill are poor.....they mean alot in this basketball team....although I am not any special member but I am not trying to show my power or my proudness....I am only trying to bring everyone closer.....there a need of smooth communication between every member of this team.....do not think that you are alway right...think far is the most important....really...
I currently had a hard time settling all this bbq things.....however I gave intruction to all the coordinator....the success of this bbq is on them....not me....I maybe in charge of all but the part they play is even more than my effort.....
Hmmm.....now I really wonder will the gal I like will really go anot.....I guess I couldnt say anything after all....think she is too tired by then....the camp is really abit crazy........when I reach the school from the back while returning home on my bicycle....all light are alrealy off!!!so early sleep one!!more like a lesiure camp to me.....somehow this camp was a minor camp....thus only some are there....no wonder I cant gather what this camp is about and also all it detail......
I am now wondering will the bbq go smooth anot.....this is very serious.....I dun want to afford any mistake......haizzzz....today really write alot sia.....must go sleep...yawnzzzzzz

**untittled02**
each maple leaf represent my heart,
some withered or blown away by wind,
however my love for is still the same,
new leaf grown and more bright,
the root get deeper and stronger,
that the sign of a stronger desire,
the desire of loving you more...

diaozzzz..........almost complete.......

2004-06-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today orh...the gal I like shown me something that surprise me...she got a blog and it is alrealy created quite sometime although I no idea when is it....the whole thing is nice!!!Except the background...lack of atomsphere...lol....Anyway.....I am upgrading mine as well.....I was going to complete the profile and other link but alway stuck at the link...somehow it alway goes wrong.....then all of a sudden.....the whole program went wrong.....thus back to square one again........waaaaa.....why why why!!!!
I am now currently having a hard time to gather all my mates to pay money for the money....this time got catering somemore!!!oh my god......sure sure alot of money is wasted.....how can finished up so many food ???ayiooo...better pray hard.....this time if sumthing goes wrong...I wun take care of it....all think they clever....later the budget blown....sure got problem one......
Anyway.....the gal I like told me that she may attend the bbq!!!Hehehehe....so happy....but when I See the word -maybe- I diam diam.....cos maybe she wun come......haizzz....hmmm..she will be away for camp.....wonder can go in anot....
Recently,one of my good friend whom I had kown ever since in primary had changed alot....bad to worst.....I dun know why and I wun care about him any more....he had the same birthday with me...he win me just by a few hours sia....lol!!
He became more arrogant,proud,selfish and narrow minded......it just like he can play other people but not other can play him back like that...he spend alot of money.....he almost had his bank account go bankrupt....just to buy a stupid bike(about $1100!!!)....luckily his mother got put $400 or else his account left 30 cent.....He really change.....I want to guide him.....but this time I know that I will be courting my own doom ...well...I wun help him if he never ask....haizzz.....now still own alot of pple testimonial....I wonder when can I ever finish it for them.......ayiooooo

**untittled01**
pick the string of my harth with care,
play with emotion and with great love,
place ye as part of your entangled harth,
promising love of ya is what I yearn for....

legend**
ye=me
ya=you

..................normal life.....................

2004-06-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

Today was another of my boring day gone...but thank to my friend birthday...I didnt go for art lesson....yatta!!!U known orh....in that lesson only I AM the only regular boy for the pottery...the rest all gals!!!Tiaozzz....boring sia.......most of them dun tok one....all guai guai and tok to them can even go to sleep sia.....ayiooo
hmmm,somehow my brain seen like not thinking......when I saw the gal I like online.....I quickly rush to greet her just a hi.....then dunno wat to talk liao.....ayioooo....but then after that...I remember about the chalet thingy ...I click back to her chatroom but she went offline......lol!!!But luckily she still got online....then of course only toka bit.....my brain not functioning well.....cannot think....so bad on me sia....haizzz
my god....now 1:15am!!!.........watch the shriek2 is really nice.....but shouldnt watch movie at such a late hour......hmmm....forget my own poem too...haizzz....nvr mind,just write another quote anyhow liao

**just try......if you never try you may never know the ending which you wanted to**

gosh.....dead end again sia......lol

2004-06-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

Just now e and my friends went cycling....abit disappointed that quite alot cant make it .....all thank to peng yu sia....wait for him...from 7pm delay to 8pm then in the end tell me he cant make it............then everyone grumble....tiaozzz....yesterday I lent him my discman.....he spoil it......lol.....just buy one sia.....haizzz.....sob sob...
Anyway the cycling still continue and this time I really dunno whatthe hell is going on....the road I remembered had change to dead end...!!!!!tiaozzzz...all the time I lead was a dead end.....then all shoot me....tiaozzz....how I know sia....I remembered is like that but dunno why change liao....all road are sealed alrealy....anyway I still enjoy the ride....
Hmmm....in the evening,I told the girl I like my blog webbie....I just cant refuse to her request sia....lol...she control me liao.....wahahaha...however this diary is meant for my future...when I am old..I still can recall what I had in my childhood memories so I will still write whatever I feel....yeah!!That the spirit....hee
Somewhere around this year,I realise that confusion can blind everything in anyone....there problem which need time to solve and some may not be solve when alone....she is still in dilemma....I cannot do until till she had freed herself out of the entangled root.....none can be solve........well,I guess that time shall be the key for now....hope is my only power left.......there a need for miracle.....

**dun turn off the lamp for I am the flame,a strong flame will never burn out no matter how small it is**

hmmmm.....................................

2004-06-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today was quite a boring day for me...I msg to afew pple whom I felt comfortable to chat to...however somehow no one reply except one...my brother god sister.....sighzzzz....anyway I heard from her that last time in the canteen where she,sarah and afew other....That time I was quite moody from various bad incident from the last week...then orh my friend all lamer...so lame...I was a lamer but orh no mood for that la...so I shout at them not being lame for a moment...
After that incident,they all thought I scold them!!!!That madness!!!I never scold anyone who never make mistake...scold if they are in the wrong....that one of my moral in life.....anyway all of them had misunderstand me....had to clear up all the mess with them.....tiaozzz..........sighzzz...I dun really had a good life ever since the start of my birthday...everything like going against me......kao...
This is a very critical year for me....gosh......sigh....haizz.......better look on positive side before I fall ...last year was a near escape......phew...

**The soft memory of your now had flew far away from my forehead**

phewwww.....dog can be very dangerous!!!

2004-06-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

Today.....just now la....me and a few friends went cycling in the chua chu kang area...the sungei dunno wat la.....there orh.....no vehicle one so can cycle until u can turn mad...lol...if there only one person cycle...it could turn very creepy..the atomsphere really .........can see bat flying somemore in the sky.....but orh got 5 pple together never mind la...me shout and shout until my throat going abit sore.....shoick man!!
Then orh.....we cycle to a death end and there got alot of fierce dogs sia!!!Me that time alrealy exhuasted and was the last ....abit far from them.....they saw the dogs barking fiercely at them and they all chong!!!Chong into other people apartment......more dogs inside!!!Then they all quickly U turn...shouting away....I also want to U turn but the dogs too fierce ....make me shiver sia....wahahaha...but anyway we all manage to run away.......chong all the way....lol....I return home and had a shower only to realise that I am injured in my leg...so weird sia ...why never realise it earlier......okay la...time to go bed liao...nitezzzzz to everyonzzzzzzz......yawnzzzz

**The present kindness you give me only make me love you even more....**

................hmmmmm..............?

2004-06-18T22:50:00.000+08:00

today nothing much happen....life still go on without stopping...still the same old life...just in a short moment is a new day.....I had a friend whose birthday fall on this midnight....gosh!!!
Me no money to buy her pressie sia....lol......well....ever since my passion for her start fading like a small flowing stream...I had almost reduce my msg with her almost half of my daily usage....WOw!!!Save money too!!!LOL.....siao la...give up on your belove just becos of stupid money...lame right??hahaz
hmmm...............................me still confuse.......although I accept her finally decision but my mind still cant accept......ayiooo.....let just hope that the second dream will really come true.......it could be a blessing in disguise....

**The heart you abandoned do nothing but wander**

dark confusion................

2004-06-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

yesterday night,I had a chat with the gal whom I hate....well,actually I only hate her childish thinking.....my counsellor told me that I am only using an excuse only,she say that I still love her ......I think she right....
today nothing much happen......my june holiday was gone!!!my god.....I everyday had to go art room to do my pot....I dun really like it.....the pot very diffcult....do here do there then the pot CRACK!!!!tiaozzzz.....ayiooooo......
I am quite tired......hmmm.......I dun think that I will continue to chase her.....if she never change.....thou it the end...none change it.....

**The last leaf had fallen yet I am still waiting for you under the tree in the cold breeze.......**

dot.....now then celebrate .....dot....

2004-06-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

today orh...I tell the gal whom I like...I told her that I hate her.....gosh!!!I know some may call me stupid...but I very staightforward person... :p .......Now I realise that she got into a lot of problem.....look like need to kapo liao....hee....I cant bear to see her in tear...
well...my birthdAY is on 2nd of june ....not today...I and a group of friends went cycling at farm mart there and then going to lim chu kang cemetery when some complain that very dangerous...they claim that torchlight will not work in there...sound CREEPY!!!I dun care and insist but I was thristy at that time so I submit to them...whahaha....
Then we pass by a pasar la mon ....a mobile market....one of my friend suddenly remember that he didnt buy me present and them insist to buy me sumthing...in the end he brought me a superman mask....I had to WEAR and walk all the way...............dot dot...then everyone stare at me as if I am an alien sia...WAA LIAO!!!......I felt very childish sia.......lolx.....
I love it actually....although lame but u can feel the happiness in it.....hee...yeah!!!!

**In everyone lives,there is alway a time of uncertainly thus friend will be the guiding light **

dosshite???

2004-06-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

today arh...the gal I hate greet me the moment I went online.I was surprise but also pek chek at the same time for I dun want to see her at all,so I give her attiude of my unhappiness...I act angry lor.But when I sense that she is very sad.....I quickly dun act liao for I dun wan to hurt her...I rather hurtz myself than anyone whom I want to protect.But because of her stubbornness,it lead to me and her own downfall....she must change her thinking in life or else no one can help her.....haizz...well,now I also start to worry about my O level liao...must work hard liao.

**because of your stupidness,you had lead everyone down in the greatest pit of downfall**

hAte yEr...

2004-06-14T23:06:00.000+08:00

today was quite an unhappy event to me....somehow I begin to hate the gal whom I love....I dunno why but the hatred in her had alrealy start.....I guess that she will be the first whom I will truly hate in my life...after all,I really dunno now.....I want to be brainwash by anyone....now I feel that I get angry easily......perhap the reason why I started to hate her is because of my high expectation in her but yet give me a great disappointment......well...I know that this will happen but I will never realise that it will expand to such place......I am now in a dilemma......gosh....why why why.......how long cupid had to play me before he is fully happy.....sigh......Now strangely enough I dun even want to cry but I hate her......this time round I give up.....what done is done...no good adding anymore pepper or salt......I cant believe what I really wish for had me caught in hot soup......someone better give me ice....

**I will hate you for once and for all ........for all I care...**