Enchanted_mushroom
squeak!!!
About Myself
Name:Kawasurma Hitaka Tay kaizhi
darkpassion2004-2005
Main pic
Joan and me
she will the one I will alway remember
I wish her nothing but to be happiness forever
I met you by chance,
fell in love with you,
wanted to forget you,
yet unable to do so,
earn for your love,
I wait bindly alone,
till you notice me,
my passion never fade...
Msn:Ruinlord@hotmail.com
This blog was changed due to the
pass template that bugged the post
A true of mine I wanted to share
darkpassion2004
______+[×].dårk.påssíøn.[×]+ []
Today is my second day of my job.....so tired...one of the fewest time realising that my bed is the most comfortable bed in the world.I went and take a look what time is it....WTF!!!SO FAST!!! 5.25am liao.....sianzzz....I still want to sleep sia...but money keep on floating in my mind....haizzz....no choice....the energy of money make my body function normally...tiaozzzz...no choice la actually....work is like that....
I went to chee hau bus stop there....waa kao...he still haven come down and bus come liao so I leave without him......still feel like sleeping.....haizzz....then reach there work....waa bang....sent me to power up department....I go sit there not even 20 minutes....my eye want to close up liao....and my head is dropping lower and lower....I keep on struggling to raise my head but finally for dunno how long I no longer feel sleepily.....I sit there for the whole bloody DAY!!!My butt turn numb and my hand are tired....and in the afternoon I want to sleep again....haizzz.....me feel so terrible...then got a grandma wearing in home clothes appear in front of me....I wonder who is it....waa bang...even customer ned to wear the uniform sia.....then the next moment...there a shout...I turn and see.....I was surprise...that old nanny is scolding the supervisor......I ask who the fark is that granny...they tell me is the boss.....tiaozzzz....no comment....I wonder she belong to wat car company one....so noisy.....even her shout can drown away all other machinery noise.....what a lousy car engine.....and she continue shout here and there.....cant stop.....waa bang le.....
While doing power up,there a stamping required....I stamp her and there continously....na bei....stamp until like shit....had to redo again and even colleague complain to me......haizzzz...my eye now really is bai tio stamp liao.....all day looking at the computer screen and now also the same....dun even feel like seeing the monitor when I return home.....so sianzzz.......during the day Chee hau really talk cock....keep on talking about himself and what will he gain weight anot.....even in group he still say only himself....everyone was bored with his accompany and am I.....some even hated to be with him....he never even think before he talk and worst is he very thick skinned.....I really dunno how to say him.....haizzz....no wonder why 2year ago...the whole 4c revoult against him......even I am part of the organisation.....
Me now dunno how to say him.....sianzzz.......I will quit this job on the 6of feb and then buy PS2 and celebrate with jereld.....yeah!!!Currently he the closest brother to me....his mind are simple and have the same loyalty with me....such character are actually hard to find.....he is not my real brother but he really treat me as a blood brother....so do I....his faith is uncompare to the rest of the brothers........yes..there are many brother who are loyal to me but not as strong as him.....oh well....it is quite a happy thing to me......hahaz
**stars**
twlight stary of dark night,
sliverish dimming light,
dancing round the crescent,
lovely song sing together,
a night that shine on everyone,
blessing in their dream,
bright crescent similing moon,
take me to your paradise,
for I never want to return home,
so do anyone leaving this land,
the land of happiness and wonder..............
composer:kaizhi
reporting time entry:9.50pm(15/01/05)
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 9:10 PM on Saturday, January 15, 2005
Finally my blog reopen.....when I am free...I will create a new blog webbie link to this past 2004 diary of mine.......I will then open all my entries in just a single page.....sound funny right?haha
ok....during these few days when my blog are down....I do remember that each person had it own view........I cant blame a person who doesnt understand my character well and brand me as a bad guy.....fark!!!I hate people who are unreasonable and sprout nonsense................haizzzz.....what a misunderstanding...and an irony ending......going so smooth yet end in such tale of horror.......
I begin my search of my job....hunting high and low and went to several place but in vain....finally I give up during that night....before I went to sleep....someone call me....chee hau tell me got lobang....I really is what the fuck.....If I know I should have stay at my house better wait for lobang instead of going out searching for job....but never mind...me happy....yesterday I went out with hou yi....we met jian hui....from the conversation...I found out that bryant was having a face surgery....gosh!!.....Am I dreaming???hahazz
Now very tired so I cant really say out everything....I was very sad when I realised I can tattend my 6th brother gathering....although to many is just a brother gathering...but to those who took pride and feeling in their brother...they will know this gathering is a very important event to them just like me....I had just sms to jereld and tell him to postpone the gathering ....I cant take a one day off....STUPID MAN.....but orhzz....u see la....u can get $1500 in just 3week....who dun want first....I ask u all la....no choice lor but do la....waa kao...me now tok cock liao....
Me had a chat with sarah.....it had been quite some time ever since we had a chat....ok la....she feel better after the chat....want to know why??DUN TELL U.....kapo.....hahahaz....sian le...everyday had to wake up at 5.20am....then return home at 9pm....so sian....no choice.....money make horse run......I will run but only a while nia.....I ned some money for myself....no choice....cant expect parent to spoon feed me....I am old enough....time to be independent...
I went to the factory there....not bad le...got air con....and got quite a number of china and malaysia babe....COOL!!!oop....shsssss.....okok la......all older than..... T_T....sianzzz lor
I rememeber creating a long poem....but somehow I forget alrealy......sianzzz......never mind....hope I can remember what it is.....good night to all....need to slp liao...tml got work......
reporting time entry:11pm(14/01/05)
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 9:37 PM on Friday, January 14, 2005
It had been three days that she didnt reply any of my question...not question of those sensitive type but those normal normal type...Even I show my care and concern to her.....I get no answer...I really wonder what the hell is going on....for these days,I make use of my time wondering did I do anything wrong....till today I cant even get any single idea izzit really my mistake.....in these 3days.....I heard of nothing due to the fact that none of my agent is in 3e and worst still.....there are some people who like to gossip....any small thing.....rumor will start.....with my limited knowledge...I cant do anything but wait outside the school for her.....for these 3days.....and only 1day met her....but guess what...when I went to her to ask her why she never reply me.....she alrealy in the bus.....there goes my chance....I was disappointed but I wasnt unhappy for I thought she will explain to me later in the night which was totally opposite....she never even sms me.....depress by such matter....I want to find any good listeners that is available but before I do so....I was chatting with germain.....I was relieve as I realise germain herself is a good listener....I blurt out everything about myself....ignoring that I alway only tell bit by bit to different person....I told germain alot of thing which is alrealy more than completing half of the zig saw puzzle.......
What happen today??I went to school to find her and hope that this could be the opportunity to clear up all misunderstanding....I went to the npcc room first and then to 5b and then the hall....scanning everywhere in the hall....I was surprise that she wasnt in the hall....thus I left the school......I met hiutung,hui qing and violet they all....some are playing kite....hahaz...somehow the kite never get the chance to fly up into the sky.....LOLX.....I saw some graduted student taking part in this camp...cheng chong,bernard and some other.....
Went back to blk8 to be pissed off by leslie...andre brother....really want to give him one tight slap....insulting me for almost the whole god damn afternoon....if not for the fact the he is andre brother....I would have alrealy fark him off the basketball court.....oop...too offendsive language....oh well....I cant blame anyone after all the current basketball skills I left is really nothing....I lost all my basketball skill I gain in my basketball team trainning......my 2point from 10throw 6in turn to 10 throw 2in.......my speed turn slower and even my dribbling still remain sux.....I am still rank the last in my basketball team......hahaz......
I went home and slept without ease....sleeping halfway kanna afew call and msg by friends.....when I woke up around 7.15pm....I went straight for my computer and started my own paradise in the maplestory.....play until halfway I stopped.....I suddenly had no mood to everything but just to keep on hoping she* will reply me or sms me.......I close all my game and found myself staring at the blank lifeless screen for quite sometime.........then I was startled by someone online msg me......I remember putting my status away......it was jereld....I reply him and then junhao add me in msn and he was invited in the conversation.......throughout the talk I managed to learnt of a few things.........then I add in roy and then he told me to make a consideration about my action......strangely enough.....I managed to sort out my confusion within a sec......now I know what I am actually doing.......hahaz....however action done better than words....I cant brag yet........
Halfway during the conversation,I went to chat with germain.I was amused when I learnt that the sec1 had been KO.....all sleeping....at 1am?!?!?For this continous 2year....From what I been through....the sec1 alway sleep around 2am and some even 3am......hahaz....but germain said that the activity was until 12am......waa kao.....even me also definitely sianz liao.....think we got chat for quite a while then suddenly she had to go as there is a sudden briefing.....oh well.....alway like that......
I saw norman when I went to 5b.....I had no feeling....nothing.....but when I remember of what he had done....the crimes and those hidden things.....I feel like puking.....however I still must say he is really a good guy.....it is such a disappointment that such talent was tainted by it own pride........
During this 3days of reflection....I brought back the dark memory I once had in my primary school......when I was in pri5 and pri6....I was depise by my classmate....those who accept me are those who are in EM3....they give me protection and friendship.....although they did their best.....I was still being depised and in the end being bully by my classmates......at one time....I confront them and then I quickly left for my friend.....the whole EM3 people went to my class to confront the group who bully me.....I was like kinda of being save....but I was wrong....hatred breed in their heart even stronger toward me.....from this I started to realise that violent can never solve anything.....why should I waste my time hating these people??Why shouldnt I give in abit to them and everything will be over??I did that in the mid year of my pri6.....I was correct....they accept me and then treat me more as a friend.....I was really very happy but then I had been drifting farther and farther away from my EM3 friends.......I dunno how to explain my whole feeling.........but I really learn alot of things in this 2year.....I had the taste of being a victim.....No one want to be bully.....and that is why I never bully in this school......I alway give a hand to those who need and even barge into the matter without the permission of the victim.............it`s true I was being reprimanded for such rudness.....however I still feel happy...for I help a soul......whenever I help someone....I just feel happy and after that I forget it.....however when I did a terrible thing......it will haunt me over and over again and then slowly fade.................................I alway believe that a stranger is a kind soul too.....perhap that why I tend to more social with stranger............now I know alot of people .......in this 2job....I alrealy know at least 20people......but now what....I stopped contacting them....and I didnt visit them....oh well......somehow to me.....friends is abit of like T shirt.....if I lost one.....I still alot in my closet....if I lost the whole damn closet....I still have other closets.......haizzzz......I dun want to lose contact with any single friends....but the problem is too many friends will give me not enough time.....a week cant even finish contacting with all my friends............after all.....it is really true.....thing come and goes in time......what a profound phrase......
3days of torturing.......let this poem sing out the sorrow of mine and to the attention of those who had the same tune as mine.......
**3 days**
In the start of the conflict,
born confusion and mystery,
yet still brimming with hope,
that the first day of conflict,
everything seen no longer similar,
your message turn to a god,
enlightening and cheering me,
but there wasnt any message,
bidding you good bye is the best,
but not for me...................
in the middle of the conflict,
born restless and pain,
and so start the second day,
with my hope fading slowly,
I never dare to give up on you,
however yet bring more pain,
the words I had sent to you,
didnt return safely to me,
thus restless give me something,
a pain in my heart and mind,
enduring within my limit,
bidding you night is the best,
but not for me.................
in the third part of conflict,
born isolation and misery,
sleeping in fear and anixous,
woke up in state of panic,
distracted in my chores,
it had come to me of one thing,
life without you seen to be meaningless,
holy prayer are sing from my heart,
however all my prayer are in vain,
without your mesage just in this 3days,
chaos are born throughout my mind,
now at the edge of breakdown,
I struggle with my faith on you,
a worthless faith of your reply,
I was right and things fell apart,
half dead and half alive,
time is short and fast,
I bring no more words,
for my effort are down into the drain,
in the third days of this,
I bide you nothing for you are mute,
bidding myself sweet dream is the best,
but also to you..............
report time:2.11am 07/jan/2005
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 3:08 AM on Friday, January 07, 2005
I saw Norman.....ahh....I didnt seen surprise or have any feeling when I saw him....it seen that me myself is getting abit more cold hearted than before....however I had to accept the fact that he rebel against me....izzit just because of a gal,pride and the stupid action of being a holy guy that had him rebel me.....I no longer care....such low graded man doesnt deserve to make me worry or think of it...
I just now go out with peng yu and meet huan yeong and chee hau....we talk for a short while.....then hmmm we go home...lol.....I now wondering about my friend...shawn liew and his girlfriend cui ying....from both side....I could see an ending....seperation.....haizz....
Until now she haven even reply me.....I dunno what is she thinking but I strongly feel she should reply me....I haven say I jio her....I only say I like her....this is getting lamer and lamer.....after all, the current ship we are in is only friendship that all.....
I still got afew more things to say but somehow I forget about it.....haizzz...never mind...
**fader**
gazing from the far,
to where you are,
unseen and unheard,
yet passion afloat,
ignore cruelly by you,
the remain of mine,
now fade slowly into ashes.......
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 1:15 AM on Thursday, January 06, 2005
During the chat,I do not why or how.However I got the feeling that I need to tell someone everything about me,my success,burden,failure and dream.During the first few hours of conversation,I found her to be a very good listener.I was also very surprise that germain still had no idea about the incident of kenneth matter.She didnt seen to bother to know the fact.I was also very glad she didnt scold me for offending kenneth.I managed to use this time to explain everything.I told everything of what I learnt of kenneth from many people.She at first didnt say anything but then later told me about the current situation between her and kenneth...At first I also thought she will scold me after my explaination but she didnt and we still continue to joke...she then somehow call me a terapin...hahaz....another animal nick for me...honestly speaking this is first time I feel so comfortable chatting with a gal.She is even better than Hazel and other gals I had talk to.Everytime I pour my things to my listener to anyone example jasper who is a triple agent,I never say out everything to him.I say bit and bit and then switch to another person like huan yeong and then also only tell him bit by bit....This to make sure that no one know my entire story...I am creating a zig saw puzzle.....however I do not know why I tell germain more than the limit I SHOULD do.....In the beginning I had no idea that I alrealy giving myself away but when I realise it...I didnt feel like siao liao or what...but I feel sort of gladful and relieve.....everything that I kept to myself had been drifting off me bit by bit.....
Although germain is a gal,she is abit tomboy.That was I could say.She also tell me that about herself when she is small....I was quite amused by her story.....she was living with her relative who were almost all boy and then like is under the influence of male....that explain that why she had the aura of male like that.I got also tell that the first time I saw her,I thought she is very gentle gal.Then only to find out that she is actually very de violent.....omg....tiaozzz.....my instinct went wrong in her......during the chat I somehow also got the feeling that she share abit of my same character.She should be those easy going type.....that what I strongly feel...hahaz....I was abit afraid when she told me she dislike me after the kenneth incident and also the sudden msg by me.....however I think she alrealy treat it as nothing....It is alrealy over.....we chat and chat and chat.......I though now only 10pm but when I look at my hp....WAA KAO!!!alrealy 12.35am liao......time really fly very fast....I hope that tonight I can chat with her again.....I still had alot of things to blurt out......although I do say out alot of things in blog however due to the fact that there are still a number of teckwhye student who are browsing my blog....I cant say out everything for it will cause a attraction.......I was quite shock to learnt of 2gal in sec3 had alrealy make love with their guy......although got one case is proven true but there is still got one which wasnt confirm and I also had no longer had any interest in such thing.Gal who thought they give their everything to their love can trap the guy forever but never to expect that it was just a trap set by the guy themself.....in such time of society....many male who abuse their ability had deflower many.....acting as a good and pure but yet in the dark doing those unforgivable disgusting thing......there is one person in the sec5.....those who learnt of recent incident will straight get the idea who that guy......what a disgrace......nowaday....gal seen to be navie....haizzz.....I got encourage germain to have a relationship with someone.....whether is puppy love or not.I told her that the main point is to let her find out herself the real definition of love.....but she keep on joking that she want to be a nun.....I really vomit blood almost all the time debating with her about this.....well....this is first thing I wanted to say....hahaz
For the second thing....I went to school to see see....Not bad le....the school has improved alot but still got one more pest to be get rid of....that mr codeiro.....WAHAHAHAHAHa.....that son of the mother had reject my plea to retain when I was in sec3 and went against me a few although I was not close with him.....grrrr......I had clast with him a few time liao....I will be the first to sing him out of the school.....whaahahahahaah........I am also very sure that the WHOLE school will be happy to see him drive out of school for the last time.....I`ll make sure someone throw something at him before he can be in the shelter of his car.....hehehe....I was quite happy that I got see alot of sec3 people...those who I knew but not close....I saw xingying.....she is sitting with han hui....haha...I still remember her blur blur face when she saw me.....seen to me that she never expect to see me again....hahahz....during the holiday she was one of those I had cut off my contact with.....of course still got alot other people......hahazz....jialat....pasieh liao....
I managed to pass my present to her......by myself!!!I never expect that too.....I and my small group hunt for 3E......luckily we found it at the art room.....I was really worried when I saw alot of familiar faces.....all staring at me like that as if expecting something interesting will pop out....she is in the class but I dare not to come in because of mrs mona lau.....scared later she tell everyone that my art is very good and creative.....I dun really like people to praise me like that....like I will act proud like that....haha....we wait and wait.....then ask one of them to call her but none of them accept......finally to the long presuading...guo xiong help me.....I and him approach the class.....I was shock when I notice that almost the whole class is staring at me and guo xiong!!!I hide behind the door and then guo xiong did what I instructed.....call her come out...I was surprise and disappointed when I found out that they all say she had left for PSL.....I left for hall and call out for the rest and left as fast as I could to avoid gossip.....I finally saw her in the hall....I call zhen hao to help me to call her come out but zhen hao tell me to wait....I wait and wait.....she didnt come out and I was really dot dot when I knew that she had forgotten that I was waiting for her outside the hall.....I call guo xiong to escort me and the rest to stay in there position.....guo xiong call gina.....at that time....Alfreed was having fun with the sec1.....he saw me and saw her talking to me....I wonder will he tell cxxxxx about this anot....I went low profile alrealy.......this is the lowest profile chase I ever make out......I like the way she say thank and she bow a little....like japanese style like that....she then went back to her group....I want to have a chat with her but it is impossible to do so and somemore I dun even know will she want it even she free.......I went to pass my book to jonathon teo which was also one of my main objective.....we straight away left the school........we continue play basketball.The sec3 join in and we play full court....haven even 3minutes.....it rain heavily....waa kao....so sway sia.....then after the rain we continue to play until 6.30pm.......helmi join in during the fun .....we sit in the void deck......there is a very cool wind blowing and we chat and chat...I like the wind very much....I was very happy when I saw my 4di chen ming....he the only teckwhyean who went to the dunno wat jc.....lolx....no comment.hope he will choose the pjc......
Perhap this is the last thing I want to say......during the visit...I met dickson and hiutung....I was actually very unsure but I think I got heard dickson greeting me.....I ask guo xiong but he say he didnt hear anything.....then I diam diam.....anyway.....more and more people dislike me to be with dickson.......I know my limit this time round......so I pass it.....
**I am just a flicking flame.....u have two choice...protect me or left me to be blown out**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 3:02 AM on Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Today I went to play basketball with javin they all...from 1pm to dunno how long....then I met jun hong....we chat for a while.From the conversation,it seem that there is only 2 teckwhyean there...he and eng kiat.....LOLx....so few people....
I was quite happy to my friends again and what make me more happy is my other brothers they....jereld and roy....I was happy that they finally wear long pant...the mark of maturity.finally...all my brothers are mature....though they are not my blood brother....yet I cant describe the happiness and reason.....
Then the sec3 they all come....haha...I was quite amuse to see them....example the sui how and the shi han wearing long pant.....wahahahahha....funny sia...got alot of them.....the rest of the people like normal normal....nothing change around them....the atomsphere is still the same when I was with them last year.....glad to see them...but no time to chat with them...hahaz....I am sure someday I will ask them out.
I was very surprise to see Hiutung....well...of course I knew that dickson will be somewhere around....I was going to ask him when he want the CD back...haha....but to my disappointment...he never reply and instead he act as if I eat glass grow up one.....I was uncertain about jasper and javin they all.....they had seen his attitude toward me...I was actually abit embarrased....I was too shocked to react and left him alone and back to jasper they all....no one mention to me about dickson attitude.....I guess they will be telling to me about dickson in no time bai....or maybe not.....they had learnt not to interfere my matter unless I need their help....
But I will be happy if they want to know about it....so long alrealy.....no one had did such thing to me...I respect all indiviual regardless what they are and who they were.....if someone respect u ...you had to do the same....it is a logic....unless u want to find someone to fight then I no comment....I predicted correctly that he will still stand on Norman side.....I cant blame at all....compare to me and Norman....Norman had spend more time with him and I had to accompany my other big groups of friend....Dickson is alway alone.....I cant waste my time on him all the time....he had the different frequency with me.....haizzz...I act differently to him and other.....If I now suddenly start to proganda again.....it will definitely cause a disturbance....maybe.....within 3months suddenly I kick off 2 friends......people around me will want to know what happen....I dunno...but I am sure if dickson dare to do anything funny to me...the rest of my friends will definitely use this chance to have their revenge on him.....what their revenge??I dunno le.....now alot working.....dun even know should tell them anot...but I guess just let the matter rest.....such person will vanish from my mind in no time....I cant waste my memory on a name which was fully fallen....
I went home with jereld and jason to take jereld camera....then we walk to lot1....then journey quite fast......I also have to admit that I cant talk normally to them somehow.....cant really joke....haha....then we had luch together and from them I have learn afew things.....but I wont say out since this isnt anything important to me......I went to watch gongfu hustle....very comdey....I really like it....hahaha....quite funny....not bad la....after that I walk to home alone wondering how to settle the mess which I still haven clean up.....since I alrealy left the school then I should let everything go....if I dun I will waste my time but yet fi I do ...I can gain more fame in helping people......now I had think about afew point....
01-Do wat extend should I help ?
02-Do the fallen need guidance even though they never ask for it?
03-Will I get bitten when the person can stand on it own??
04-Will the person understand my goodwill effort??
05-Will that person doubt me for having another intention of helping him?
Actually it is simple...I just realise it...all I need is just to offer a hand to those who seek my help not giving help without their plea....I had been bitten twice in a year.....betrayal to me will mean endless doom.....for this 2people....hmmm.....I had been forgiving alot of people because I knew no one is perfect but right now the situation had force me.....with no choice....I had plea to the god to punish them....let it be now or future...darken the victim of mine...with my offering to the light....let justice show what punishment each deserve....
I just want to curse them but I cant....I had been backfired before....because of the curse I had no choice but to listen ......avoid wearing black shirt till age 21.....oh well.....no choice....I was quite stupid that time to forget the safely measure.....haizzz.....black magic is indeed stronger than the white magic.....that the last I know......hmmm.................I cant say anything now.....
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 7:09 PM on Monday, January 03, 2005
I was being employed by a manager.....who come to my house void deck and hire me and sheng huat straight away....it was really a pure to me....hahaz.I took the trainning for two days at the city hall there the robinson...I make quite a number of friends although only in 2 days....one trainer who was quite cute name cindy taught me all about the parker pen.There was alot of auntie but it didnt affect me....I chat with them on the first day.....lol....
By that time sheng huat was being sack due to his attitude given by the mangers who act as customer on his first day of trainning....the staff there told me that he didnt talk and very quiet....and very funny.....haha...but he still got $35 for his trainning.....by that time I alrealy lobang jeffrey,stamford and Helmi....jeff at toa payoh,stamford at north point center and helmi at jurong point........I was then being ask to teach stamford about the pen for his first day.....but the teaching was very fast and we end up chatting about our past time and our current personnal matter.....time do fly very.....I thought I just chat with him for one hour but instead is alrealy more than that.....time to go home....wahahahaha.....we went to have our dinner and I should say that I am surprise we are still very close like last time......hahaz
On the first day of my stall located at orchard popular bookshop,I sold about $300 and I was quite happy but I was disappointed when I knew that the comission only 1.75%....one hour $5....from morning 11am to 10pm and 1 hour break which dun have money.....so tiring.....everyday somemore...haizzz....it was boring at the start.....cos alway no customer one...however I enjoy by the number of different friends who at least visit me.....although most are male but yet there are still got a few girl visit me.....haha....me dun really popular with girl in my life one.....after a few days...I went to read book in the popular....I read harry potter from the dunno what stone and then right to the last book which is (forget liao)....then I started to read about those superititous thingy and horoscope.....I make alot of friends there too.....although some look like pia kia but they are actually very friendly.....some are joker....we joke during our lunch.....there a counter beside me and his name is Danny...he is a nice guy and he abit funny....hahazz....then at popular I get to know a few pretty girl....got one very cute one name joan....she abit funny to me la....whenever I just simile and talk with her...she will like very happy like that.....haha....dun think narrow...she got a boyfriend for more a year liao....that what I heard.....then got one girl from regent secondary....NT....her name is Bao zhen....she also not bad la.....talk alot...hahaz.....I was actually surprise when she suddenly one day say I very funny....the first girl who say this exact sentence is Gina....I was also very surprise....I feel very lame.....then never mind.....got another girl.....think going to 30 bai....she also say the same thing...me dot dot dot......I dun know where am I funny lor....I wasnt acting or what...I was still normal......in everything.....then during the last 2week got a new recuit for the besta which was under Danny...her name is Lindia....seen to be malay cos her skin are quite dark.....but can see that she is a chinese....she quit in less than a week....hahaz...dunno how to say her.....I was also dot dot dot when one day she also say I very funny.....grrhzz.....this is getting lamer and lamer....
to me is very funny lor......suddenly got girl say me like that....I wasnt surprise if any male say this to me...it my normal reaction that alrealy make them laugh....joker*but only in the company of male not female.........
During my work,I almost left the world of mine......I cut off my contact with alot of people.....I was too busy....not I dun want.....I was deeply sad whenever I thought of my glory in school....able to know half of school people well and the CCA......yet I still felt angry by the rumor that I bully kenneth.....Never in my life to be insult like that.....I alrealy swore to my oath not to bully,to fight and things against my honour......my repulation was affected.....the pillar which was clean had been tainted......I dare to say those who know me well wont believe this....in this school I protect the weak not bully.....how dare those rumor to insult me.....I am still mad whenever I think of it......
Oh yeah...one important which should never be left out....some of my friends who know I kick Norman out of my friendship either scold me or say me.....I was just trying to help a lonely soul that still haven mature in his way of life....In fact they alrealy knew why did I at the first place stand on his side last year....I still remember the sentence they had say...."got him or dun have make no difference" and "doing good deed may not be repay but instead the opposite" and "see...tell u alrealy liao....this kind of person is a wolf in sheep skin" I wasnt the culprit yet being said until like that....I was greatly sadden by the sudden comment they gave......I remember last year that his classmate are revoulting him and on my level...like wei cong they not happy with him...there are other level below the mine dun like him because of jealousy.....so many people complain to me about him and to make matter worst....some had the idea of contronting* him.....The first thing I had done was to ask him out....we go causeway point to buy a PS controller....I like his character....great dermination...honest...these two is enough....thus I trust very much....I told my friends to forget about the past which was met with unhappiness......however they keep quiet after that.....
This year....I was totally angry at him....I didnt scold or whatever him....I only tell him nicely....he stead with a girl name li wei for 9months and then break....reason is because of mable....then suddnly patch and then break again....reason given....I cant forget mable...I nearly going to shout at him when I heard it...I want to shout."IF THAT THE CASE,U SHOULD NEVER EVEN START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AT ALL....THE ENDING YOU GIVE IS TEARING HER APART!!!you have waste your time and effort.....so does she.....for nine months....isnt there any feeling for her??"It is a disgracefully thing when I heard of his reason....and there are dark sercet which cant be told......haizzz...he is very stubborn....all my advise had to music to him.....not surprising that I get to wonder he still like yingjia anot......this is a interesting topic during my working time.......I feel very sad for such person.I had give him new life exp and he turn it down just at the start.....with only girls supporting him and only afew guy behind him......he will alone.....I try my best to help him but in vain.....I had been numerous of things in my past in dark....never spilt out to any just becasue I dun want to boost.....I had even save my friend life.....to all extend I had been trying to everyone whom I knew to be happy....I never reach my goal because of some people narrow view and thought and too many people to help which had took in alot of my time.......or else why do I have so many friends with me.....make they laugh and happy....that all I want for everyone.....I take anyone as my friends regardless of race,character and background....because people will change.....everyone is born with a kind heart.....I am really in sorrow......I wont mind that people to repay me anot....but never turn against the one who had guide for you......I cant stand betrayal.....so is my code when I was alway with my gangsters friends in primary school......
I like a gal.....the one who first say me a funny person....whenever I chat with her....so far not on phone yet.....I found she understand every single thing I talk and I somehow like the frequency we chat.....I was in deep thought while working....it was by then I clearly remember she the only girl who can understand me.......it going to be one month that I like her.....this time I really go damn low profile to avoid the history disaster given by my friends who cant keep the sercet of mine well.......currently she going to the art class.....sec3 next year.....I miss her even in work....I sometime just daydream about her for the whole night or long time unless disturb by the customer......she dun want a stead....I am fine by that....I alway respect people decision.....because I really like her very much....I respect her decision and remember every single words she had sms to me.......haizzz......well....back to the job....I quit the job as I want to have a new exp of life....I was then being employed by a company which is in healthcare product....I was very lucky....I was being employ when I go interview.....thing suddenly go smoothly except in my romance......tomorrow is my trainning.....I am still very worried about this job.....it go by commission and no basic.....if I cant sell mean no money....but this job is different from any normal out door sale.....that is the unique point and attracted me....now is going to be 3am liao....better go sleep.....arrh.....haven say out my celebration in the holiday.....
**I really miss u everytime the clock tickle continously....I really like you alot**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 3:06 AM on Friday, December 31, 2004
Is that call stealing??LOLX.....what crap is that.....Norman also say that he found his
principal.....is that a joke??He trying to tell me that he dunno how to live a human before he found his way of life?!?!This is ridulous to me....I guess it is also the same to the viewer.That night all the message he send me seen to be full of crap and nothing.....what he is trying to tell me have no link at all....I wonder is his brain working well anot.....one of his msg tell me that many people dun like me at all......this is the only sentence that really make me laugh.....if that is true....I knew it long ago instead of waiting for him to tell me....I am have my own agents in school.....if he is trying to fool me...I guess he need to wait for his next life.....I am really quie shock by what he say to me and accuse me of being a thief....lame lor....lame lor....if I tell this to everyone....I bet he is a laughing stock for everyone.....
Oh well....when I first know him.....I heard alot of people wanted to beat him up....not only his classmate but more than that....I was astonished by the new and decided to get the matter into my hand.I invite him to come with me to causeway point to accompany me to buy a ps controller,During the talk,I know what really went wrong.He is a plain person,a person of no creation.To male,he is a very boring person.However when turn to female....it is the opposite....because he is too honest which I like.Girl turn to him frequently...the boys get jealous and that how the conflict happen.I pity him that almost everyone anti him that time....it`s like a stray cat in the street wandering aimlessly until it found a shelter....
The only thing which I cant do is to understand about a person in a very short period of time.I had no idea that he was such a stubborn guy.He claim that he was in the right....fine with me....however what if everyone claim that he is in the wrong and he still insist he in the right....he is bound to be a failure.He is alert at all time and quiet....however he cannot extend his thinking and consideration of result to the standard.....He is hot tempered.....when I tell my friends about his thing.....my friends never care at all.....who is norman??this guy can fight??dun need to scare of him la......
haha....none of my friends is scare of him at all....in fact....alot of male wasnt in good term with him....well....I am so disappointed in him...he is alrealy 16 yet his mind isnt functioning well.....so sad......when I told some of my friends.....I was actually being scolded sia....."kapo lor..this kind of friend not worthy le...u see for yourself la....got him or dun have him around didnt affect you right??"haizzz......I was doing that because I feel he need friend.....since he the one who wanted this breakup....it is fine...in fact.....I was happy.....he take too much pride alrealy la.....this guy cannot lose face de.....he is like that.....
okay....let forget this immature child.....now my 4di chen ming is chasing ying jia.well....ying jia like him too.......that a good start....but now.....I dun even know is it good or bad.....I am confused,,,,now got some people want to jio ying jia too.....if my dear bro cant get his wish.....I really dunno what to say......I like both chen ming and ying jia.....although I like ying jia...but I rather want to see a happy couple instead both parties suffering silently in pain......chen ming is my brother.....I really love him and treat him as my real brother......it hurt my heart when I somehow have the feeling that he is in depress state.......I want to be a good bro but love thing have to go natural....nothing can be force.......ying jia like him for 1and half year alrealy......dun waste our childhood memory......time never reset......
just now I go hair cut......haizzz....not again....my head cut overlap then I see a huge mush room sia....my head like a mushroom......very funny lor.....then remind me of maple story.....the mushroom there.......whahahahhaaha......I got play basketball in the chua chu kang cc just now...quite fun and I like it....the only sway sway thing is got brusie on my feet....kao....tml go out again....somehow I am alway busy in my holiday....I thought I will be in home for days not going out everyday!!!Different group of friends ask me to join them........however I just like to be with the sec4......cos they guai guai de....not gangster this kind of thingy la......ok...now go sleep liao......night....
**The will of yours will lead everyone to their death if you do not accept the reality**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 1:56 AM on Tuesday, November 30, 2004
we got about 9pple excluding me to go together.... I am surprise to see 4 other pple....chen boon,sam,wei quan and jun hong together.....well...they are the prom king....they must reach the place by 5.30pm......they left earlier than us......but reach later than us.,..they lost their way....Muahahahahahahahaha
We are early for more than an hour....so we went to shopping center and buy hair dye....I wanted to dye but in the end I didnt.....then we return to the hotel......when we reach the entrance....I saw ying jia and jeesica......I tell u...I swear I saw 2 angels......1 skinny de and 1 plump plump de......the only problem is that I didnt see any ring on their head and no wing on their back....lolx
We saw ming xue and his friends beside another entrance.....then we walk up to the ball room ourselve......then about 7pm which is the starting time.....alot of pple start to come up....ying jia come up too.....an idea struck me......I approached ying jia and ask her to take photo with me.....I put my hand on her shoulder....got ask her permission la......ME feel very happy!!!I never put my hand on a gal shoulder at all in my life.....I swear in the name of god......I was very very happy....no word can describe my happiness......however I was worry....Kalvin will be jealous......after the night.....I heard that I am the only person who put my hand on ying jia shoulder........no one else.......I suddenly feel very happy....but then they say I very thick skinned.....common lor.....to me....I dunno my future.I cant make sure that my path cross hers....life is unpredictable....
The hotel food isnt good at all.....I wonder they are cooking for who de......expect me to accept that hotel food standard is like that mehzz????This is very disappointing.....there is a lucky draw......the most lucky table is my table and ying jia table.......each table got 10pple.....there are 2 pple didnt pay for the ticket.....however the rest of the 8 pple all kanna the lucky draw prize...all got win prize sia.....for my table is 2pple forget to bring and only 1 poor chap didnt won any lucky draw prize....hahaha......wow....the this is truly amazing to me.....pure luck*
I wanted to say this out also....this is the best thing I had in the prom night....there was a lucky draw....starting alot of people clap and clap but as the number of people go up to stage take prize...the loudness of people clapping fade away fast.......around more than 26 people.....really like no one is clapping liao....only afew handful nia......then I was given a surprise......the Mc say out my number!!!I blur blur then regain my sense and walk out.....I was sort of tiaozzz because no one clap at ALL!!!It was only when I noticed that the everyone know I am the person who got it.....there was a sudden chrous of clapping.....from almost everyone!!!The ball room which was once quiet suddenly burst out alive sia.....only those who are there know about it.....I never imagine that I had alot of support from so many people.....hahaz....honestly speaking...actually people in the ball room.....almost everyone know me ......I think that is because we are friends that why they support me so well.....I was sort of grateful and touched that so many people clap for me sia.....I really thank them alot.....then after me.....is another person....I guess many grinned and the person who take the prize want to cry bai.....cos only that handful of people clap again nia......hahaz......I guess people wont clap for stranger at all.....haha...
I went home straight away......this is the most surprising thing to me and other friends too bai....I tend to stay overnight one.....I got invitation from 3different group of friends...1st group ask me to go clubbing,second one didnt tell me go where and the last group say see first see first....but I took the 4th choice.....home sweet home
I must now confess my liking to a gal.....last year she rejected me last year......hahaz.....now I realise I like her alot......the feeling is there.......her name is wonderful.......and I like most of her character......although she abit lazy.....but I more lazy than her la.....hahahaz....honestly....however because of my childhood friend.....I dare not to do anything and worst is that I dunno what is shethinking about......I am have no look and no money.....this two factor is enough to dismiss me from chasing her..........it is not I want to give up on her but the problem is will she accept me despite my personnal problem.....
A guy who is faithful is not the problem.The real problem is that the heart of a girl cant be seen truely.....how I know that is she the faithful type.....that are many people who are better than me....I cant force her at all........I do not know la.........however let it be natural.....there isnt any need to push.......if it is fate then accept it wholeheartly.....she like a good bro of mine......to me....this bro is one of my 5closest brother......well.......
die die liao lorz........better forget this matter*
This year is a very weird year to me......I am very shock by the number of gal I like be4 this year......I felt insulted......when I change so much.....Did I really turn into a bad guy alrealy without my knowledge??
**The bonding of brother are strong enough to overwhelming all our misunderstanding not by a flower**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 12:46 PM on Thursday, November 25, 2004
Thought I will be bored at home after the exam is over but instead is the opposite.......almost everyday went out with different group of friends.....if this group isnt going out then still can go out with another group of friends.......shoick man.....but my pocket is also burning in a rapid rate......gosh.....my money almost turn to 0 soon......this is the greatest year I ever had.I met alot of friends in school regardless of their age and level.......I had make alot of brothers....more than my mei mei.......it is a waste to had mei mei though I wish to have a sister of my own.....it is sad that none could didnt really treat me like their blood sister.....it is a shame that I couldnt achieve....I just wonder did I really fail to do what a brother treat a sister as??It seen that it is impossible but I am happy that I had a jie jie of my own......that is Andeline......she treat me well and give me a close feeling.........tomorrow is the last paper and I will be FREE!!!yeah!!
Tml I will redo all my bog and add people liao.......hehe
**The way that lead give no guidance,search for the light that is hidden **
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:47 PM on Sunday, November 21, 2004
I forget wat to say.....but I like today manjhong at violet house.......actually to me sian sian......yuan man very slow and I dunno wat to say about him la....everyone is not perfect....well the best is go ying jia house and play with them.....got jue tong is enough liao......can talk alot.....that wat I alway like to do......talk more.....wahahahaha......recently I had make a bet with kelvin.....whoever jio ying jia out is the winner.....then he sms her and I also sms her......she got reply me by shooting me to study but no reply to kelvin.......wahahahahahaha......wat a great blow to kelvin......I just really wonder ying jia like who.......kelvin is not a bad guy.......do the characteristic of him deserve not her??This is really funny to me.......
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 11:08 PM on Friday, November 19, 2004
DOT DOT DOT.........then never mind.....Yvonne saw me and call out my name and also want me to buy food from her stall.....I was very surprise that she will call me.....because we are not really close friend.....or should I say is rarely known each other.....but but then never.....I give excuse to run away.....I brought 2 cup....one for jereld my bro and another for myself......then I went back to my group.....elaine call me....I see in her direction.....I go to her stall.....there got the very naughty phyillis and lei wei.....and elaine.......I go there.......they say the same word........buy something..............even more dot dot.......
Then I went to support Yvonne stall and when I was buying.....huan yeong sister call me.....say me never support her stall.........ok la nvr mind....I also buy.......I brought a stick of 6 mushroom coated in dunno wat sauce.......50 cent!!Waaaa......I really want to tell her daylight robbery.....but never mind....is for charity......and the mushroom is put into the stick straight after the can being open.....waa liao......me dunno wat to say.....then for kai xin(huan yeong sister)..........WORST!!!2 strawberry coated in chocolates.......50 cent too!!! waa kao........so kam chiap...........I brought biscu- from elaine stall.......when I share with my friend......me lose the feeling of eating......the food like expired liao......lose it crispyiness.............I go back to complain .......actually just want to shoot them but in the end .......because rushing time......then Didnt really joke with them and join my group of friends......I saw Hui keng.....I didnt really call her.....I was quite ashamed that I fail my duty as brother toward her......that why I didnt really call her......
Hmmm......then we go to the dunking machine there......ayiooo.....sianzzzz......the Ncc teacher......big big one.....everyone try to shoot but even got hit also wont affect her.....her weight too heavy liao la.....but luckily some got eat breakfast de people had her down into the cool water......wahahhaha.....then the next teacher is Mr chalk.....he arhzzzz......funny lor....when he go up.....alot of people want him down into the water........Sarah had spend $10..............OMG!!!On well.....must understand that rich people is like that one la....wahhaahahahaa.......I got see ban hao.....and miao de up on the plank.......both are drench duck in the end la.......whahahaahahaahaha.......
I got went to 2a food stall.....................SUSHI!!!My favorite le...............waa sia....want to buy but dunno why didnt buy.....then PAICK!!!.........................................OUCH!!!Turn and see.......violet staring at me with evil intention.....and the intention is also the same as the other......want me to buy......me got buy in the end.......WAAAAAA...............THE RICE SO HARD!!!My teeth isnt make of metal le.........dot dot.......but ayioo.......sway lor....alrealy buy liao and no refund......wahahahahahaaha
I meet up with Elaine and told her about Kelvin thing......but then she neutral.....dot....then kelvin find her and give her coupon.......lucky she reject.....becos I want kelvin to know that money cannot buy everything.....not friendship or love.......Then I went abit of shopping in school with her........then quite okok la.......during this time......I happened to notice that shu fang is watching me.......bet she must have think I am wooing a gal.....tiaozzzzzz.....I manage to talk to xin ying.........I haven even start my speech.....she walk away very fast.......she too shy liao la.....ayiooo.....then the elaine yap thought I want to jio her........dot....dot......
I got meet hiutung......she make me abit lame.....she look at me for quite sometime then she finally say hello...............dot dot dot.......she really blur blur.......wahahahahaha......then Germain.......she like treat me very cold......haizzzz......but then when I msg her in the night....she told me she got stomach problem......no wonder why I see her face like got problem........she return home very early......and she doesnt seen to be close with her class people.....hmmm......
Overall I wont forget today.......hahahahaa.......my last day joking with many people.......end of an era in this school.........
OK.....now I had a serious problem in this year.......there a sec5 boy name kelvin......the sec5 had divided into a few groups.....but we call it gang......thing was going well when one day we know he like Wee Na............and he wanted to jio her.....he msg her more 50 times and give her more than 10 missed call and is EVERYDAY!!!SIAO arhzzz......hp bill blow until like fuk......think her parent photocopy money one arhzzzz.....then we tell Wee Na......and kelvin know about and then say our bad thing in front of different people......backstabbed us and cheat us........he even lie to huan yeong who was his friend for more than 4yr liao..........he still dare to tell wee na that he had a clean cut with us.......see......backstabber......I was trick in his own game.....I had nvr expect he will have 4hp line......and he use the 4th line to pretend as zhen yang.....NA BEI!!! Ever since that happen......we had a meeting.....we had wei cong and chang yi behind us......for me myself....I went to tell the sec4 pple....many support me and the sec4 kelvin told me that the whole class will support me........I decided to get the sec3 and 2 also......the more pple ......the more he will be scare......however I haven tell the sec2 yet.....they are still young.....dun teach them bad thing......wahahahaha.........however I wil not forgive kelvin action......he now started to bribe chee hau and some other with money just to buy friendship......I will never accepth such bribe .......I dun want to be with such corrupted person.........sometime I really want to go tell sec3 kelvin to settle him but I dun like to have the support of gangster.....and since I got enough pple....so should have no problem........
Though I have alot to say but the time is late so I need to rest early.........I want to say out one last important thing..........and that is germain.....it is useless to confess my liking to her anymore.......it is better to say out than hiding it under the shadow of my heart..........I like her......but didnt woo her......that is the fact....because I know that she like someone else.....it is impossible to win her hart......everyone heart can only contain one person ......she is good ....and quite pretty to me......her character is very different from the rest.........I had been watching her for quite some time........however yet at this time.....I also have a liking on a sec4 gal......haizzzz......why boy tend to have the idea of liking gal........I really only want a faithful girlfriend that all.................appearance isnt important.....what is important is the heart......I was thinking why am I so cruel.......everytime despair in such matter......do I not deserve to have a girlfriend???Not I despo or what......but never in this school had I stead before......never in this school...............how to accept this?!?!?Though I had some knowledge in love however no partener............HAIZZZZZ
O level is on this monday............wish all candidate all the best day......the time to use our talent is now........this is a poem for Germain......just to make sure that I wont forget u in my life........
*abide feeling of you*
*blinded by chains*
*arrow of the lead*
*break the destiny*
*between u and me*
*helpless and hopless*
*I know it`s the end*
*though we not fate*
*yet fated to be friend*
*time do not matter*
*yet the current society*
*accept no time loss*
*nothing is for sure*
*but I only sure in one thing*
*I like you*
*let this poem tell*
*my faded love for u*
*the first and last*
*Ashiteru*
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 2:04 AM on Sunday, October 31, 2004
This week alway go out with different group of friends sia.......and the most surprising thing is that I go out with not my school one.......after all.......they are the one who are free to accompany me whenever I feel bored....not like my school friends.....all either loaded with exam or book.......haizzzz.....I suddenly realise positive about my those friends.......they are living in a carefree world.....without any worry or trouble......it freedom!!
However sad to say.....their future is unstable......not enough education level to make through in this society.....escpecially in singapore.................
Today I meet an old friend.....he now in ccks.....his face like hazel.........but now his face had change so much that his face no longer look like hazel face liao......hahahaha.....then arhz.....hmmm.....chat chat chat then left the place and meet next week to play basketball............me got O lvl practical the next day........should I keep my promise to go???hmmm...............I dunno la......see fate.......
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:13 PM on Sunday, October 10, 2004
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:44 AM on Saturday, October 09, 2004
I dunno who the big mouth spreading I like a gal................now the many sec4 and some sec5 know I like this gal.......kao....if that gal know it....I can go bang my head against the wall liao....actually I dunno much about this gal.....it only the feeling.....however I am quite fond of her only....that all....she like someone else alrealy....so it`s quite impossible for me to be so stupid and jio her.....I bet will kanna reject one.....cos she also dunno much about me too.....from this point...it is sufficient enough that I wont make it one...
I was stunned when today a friend(female) ask me who I like now......kao!!on the moon cake festival also got another ask me the same Q......then they tell me that I like this gal like that gal.....dot dot....comon la....some are alrealy last year thing liao lor....and do I look like that flirt flirt type???I am not despo too!!Yuck.......then when she ask.....the other gals also start to blah blah.....waa sia.....shoot me sia...lame sia!!!Right now I actually is neutral lor......NEUTRAL!!!I dun want to get attention liao.......haizzz haizzzz
Oh ya.....the mock exam had started ....but sad to say....I was busy playing game instead of studying......stupid friend who introduce me new game.....then now addicted liao.....arghhhh!!Waa liao......just now spend the whole night playing.....sob sobx........but nice game.....wahahahahaha
But I will study....this time round no play play liao.......hope I got the will to do so....
**It`s not anyone who is stopping me....it is me myself who is hesitating to progress**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 11:21 PM on Monday, October 04, 2004
According to the poly intake..........there isnt any course avaible for me to take......however due to the new opening of the republic poly......it is possible to go there.....however what I fear now is my math.........I do and only hope that the math paper for the O level will be easy or else I cant take it.........whahahahaahha......
Haizzzz......my 5th di Roy lost his hp........he lend to other and the other lend to other and then lost in action.............tiaozzzzz.......ytd msg him no reply..........no wonder.....oh well........tml is the exam for the other level..........so I wish everyone good luck and wish them pass with flying colour ............gan batta!!
**education is meaningless when one see no result of the future it hold**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:03 PM on Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Never in my life I had met with this kind of things.......I did check out what is going on....it' s appeared that it my friend who was in the wrong.....I cant presume or assume anything yet....her god brother will alway stand at her side......I do not know is this thing really settled anot......my 5th brother do told me of the event taken place.......I also did check with other in secret.......now I know some of it.....
I felt very strange about her so call of good friendship with her friends.......the friendship just break in one night......her other friends stood on her enemy side.......it a situation of one against the mass............I feel so sad for her.......she being slapped.......that what I heard also.......I did find her however I can sense that she did not really told me all.......everyone got their own story........even my 5th di had his own story........I was in a dilmema when he ask me who will I help.............my first reaction was to help my brother......he my brother no matter what......however another was a person whom I respected of her spirit.......since thing is still in hand.....I will remain silent till the time for me is needed......but that wont happen....wahahhahahaa......
She must have thought that all her friends like her .....but in fact not really......the relation with them is as plain as water.......betrayed and humiliated just in one shot.....I know she is shattered by this incident.....the problem does not lie with the betrayers but the victim herself.....I understand she may thought I betrayed her too.....however in fact......it is a fact.......imagine that u had many friends.....however u are being ignored and slapped in school causing alot of accomdation and just in one night......best friend turn to worst enemy and worst of all.......no one come to your aid except just your god bro.........even though it alrealy happened......however thing will start to spread and the pressure of meeting enemies daily in school cause stress and unhappiness......who are now your friends????
This is a great lesson for her too.....she will realised that it's her attitude that bring her downfall....... and in that night.....she may had found out her true friends and the mask of the sin that her enemy bear......haizzzz.......I hope she can pass this test given by the god.....
Ok....next thing......I began msg the gal whom I get her no but didnt sms her till the next week.....although she seen a quiet and gentle gal........but in fact.....she very talkative and also very nice to chat with.....she sometime abit lame....however I like it.....wahahahahaha......however these few days.....I sms with her too much....I wonder what will she be wondering.......I did get fond of her....however is only fond of her......she alrealy had someone in her heart so I guess it another impossible task to accomplish....it will be very hateful to lose such a great friend too.......the moment I left this school will mean the loss of many things which I had.....let the friendship ,brother and sister relationship continued............leaving this school mean new life for me......I had gained what I need in this school and also learnt what I should had in school........5years in this school...............I will missed it.......haizzzz......hey!!how come I talk until so far!!!
okok.......now still moon cake festival.......I truefully wish everyone happy moon cake festival......dun play too much fire......kanna burn dun saY I curse one : pppp
**it lead to u that heaven is on your side yet in irony it the opposite**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 9:23 PM on Tuesday, September 28, 2004
today was quite awesome......it was the most boring performance I ever seen in my life..... : x oh yeah............I still enjoy alot of thing.....now my brain isnt functioning well....so I had to stop.....hahahhaha
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 1:42 AM on Saturday, September 25, 2004
However sadly.....quite a number of the sec4 didnt make it..........and the sec5 had outnumber alot them...............however we mixed and play for quite a long time and I enjoy it myself......I somehow dun like peng yu attiude......he the one who didnt really play CS and then he play gunbound.....I wont mind about it.....however yet he persuade huan yeong ,chee hau and kelvin to go home early..........waa liao le.......if he want to go home go alone la......what a wet blanket he is.........haizzzz.....not sporting sia.....
Then I went home with the sec4................and hmmmm.............I spent more than $10 which I lend from wei cong.....haizzzz........wonder by next week will I be able to return the full amount to him anot.......we play for almost 6hours!!!My eye hurt alot when we walk out into the sunlight.......but it recover after sometime......
Then we had dinner together.....out of boredom....I decide to msg a gal name germain.........I got her contact last week yet I didnt have the time to msg her to make friend.........I thought she like chen ming but in the late evening......she told me she like someone from outside........oh well...............I no comment.......Ah ming definitely not interested in girl.........for unknown reason..........he never seen to a girl of his choice.......last year with ying jia.......he also heck care heck care like that...............when I ask him......then I realised his some of his character.....
O level is up..........I now rarely contact with him anymore......I just somehow dun want to lose him at all.........after all he is my 4th brother I had bebrothered for more than 1 and a half year..........I frequently wonder did he treat me as the way I treat him??Haizzzz.........I had no idea.............but bro is bro............brother forever!!
Now damn tired sia...............just finished my math revision .........didnt really get into the root of it yet..........I now just hope I can pass..............good luck for everyone for tml paper
(grumbling that it his facult ..........arent thou just an excuse to covr yourself?)
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 1:38 AM on Wednesday, September 15, 2004
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I had recently borrowed some new games.....shoick man!!What more exciting is that next week is prelim and there I am....busy chonging to finish the 2 games I lended.....these few days I didnt really had anything interesting except I remembered the second month of the gal whom I gave up.....time is really fast....so fast and there goes 2month......I sometime do wonder.....just wonder how ,why,what and when................
Oh well........I must prepare for this coming exam.....I had alrealy 2 challengers liao.........I cannot lose to them or else I will have no face liao............where can my face go to!!
**live for the future of the unseen**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:03 PM on Friday, September 10, 2004
Nope.more than that............because someone claim that I was flirting with sec2girl who alrealy had boyfriend................tiaozzzzz..............who???I did know many sec2 girls but only contact with some only............almost none had boyfriend at all.............so who???And It is madness to be third party..........who want to be???It is ridulous!!!I alrealy sec5 liao.........I knew the disadvantages of being a third party...............I had no gal in my heart currently..........so who could it be??
All boy flirt .............the meaning of flirt is talking with gal.........any boy could talk to girl are counted as flirt alrealy.............. they alreay flirt with other liao............and only say me......isnt it rubbish???Do I seen like those who are alway very flirt???Do I seen as one??
haizzz.......only those who know me well will understand me.................they claim I was a bully and like to fight.......siao!!!
Why I start to fight is because to protect..........protect someone I care for ............bro,sis and friend...............is it wrong to protect them??I do fight for the sake of my honour..........to let those who are younger than me to insult me and bully me.............let them disrespect me??Then where could my face to go??I never intend to fight .............with anyone in the school........I believe that we are in the same school and should help each other not quarrel or fight with each other................
people claim that I bully them.........however do they have proof when the person itself was in the wrong??Why does people like to spread rumor which was never true at all??Why do people never learnt from mistake and continue to make mistake??why do people get jealous when seeing it stead flirting with someone else??
I only talk with girls and they say me flirt..........tok until like thet never talk with girls before like that..............if got stead..........why worry or jealous when seeing people flirting with them??
To me stead is a part of love.........one of the aspect in love is trust..........dun they trust their stead at all???This is a sign of selfishness too..........people cannot be selfish in this kind of thing or else they will be the one in the losing side.........................
I dun care what the other say about me now.............I have done nothing wrong to them or to the heaven..........I am not guilty of anything..........I give up on many things now.........it their life not mine..........I will be the one rising not them.............I wun give them guidance.........let them reget for themselves........let them realise that whatever I told them is true........people only reget when thing really happen..........fine with me............
**jealousy from the heart..........falling with the shadow where no light could shine on**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:52 PM on Thursday, September 02, 2004
Everything was well.......I run untired and entirely no problem when I realise that one of my shoes had untied by itself.........I couldnt run properly as it affect my speed greatly.....so in the end I stop and sad to say.......that the end..........dunno for what reason I couldnt run anymore.........I shouldnt stop at the start.......so that the end....
Next is the performance ........everything to me is boring except by my level............I was lucky to back out the last minute becos I hate the Norshan..............want me to wear gal costume.....dance like a gigglo.........NO WAY!!!The show turned out to be the best performance for that day............everyone turn high when the show start........I was atonish.........but I enjoy the performance.........after that .......me and afew of my friends run away by climbing out of the school from the back gate........hehehehe.....
I went back to my pri school..........I didnt achieve my primary objective at all..........however I am happy enough to see my primary6 form teacher.......I didnt really talk with her after all she was having her lunch and it is quite rude to interrupt someone who was having her meal......I was happy to greet her.......
Then I went to play badminton and didnt go out with my 3di .............I wonder is he angry with me anot............then for today me and my bro spend all the time watching vcd.........orhhhhh.........SHOICK!!!!
**Thing that may seen unworthy may not be true....is how one treat it**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:54 PM on Wednesday, September 01, 2004
And becos of the last fighting incident.......new somehow had spread to many.......thus I am worried that about how the other will treat me.......a bully or a gangster.......I do not wish to let people to know about this kind of stuff about me..........I believe that I can show my potential in other good ways........study or other.......but not in fighting or whatever.........
I knew that I am branded by teachers this time.......I have nothing to say or whatever.....it is history alrealy........there really nothing to care about except on how to prevent such things happen again........however I dun think it is easy........because it is due to the other people who start first.......
I suddenly feel that I am becoming evil.......sort of.........I have started to change.......guess it not a good thing.......however I am really tired of peace now.....if being hit....reliate without mercy.........and I will say that from today onward....I will no longer tolerate anyone who taunt me.......I make sure......make sure....I make that person remember me forever........if it mean sending them to hospital........time and time again....I had been restricting myself from this senseless and meaningless quarrel or fighting.........avoiding fight times and times again....should I still submit to my fate??
Future is created by me.......I will change the fate myself..........I terminate anyone who try to piss me.......it the blood that make me boil and the blood of my enemy I wish to flesh on........break their bone and make them remember for the rest of their life.....torture them cruelly to teach them a lesson.........never pity them for they had nothing good to be forgiven.........
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 9:15 PM on Sunday, August 29, 2004
I didnt get back my hp..............ayiooo......me dunno how to say sia.......arhhhhhhhh.....................haizzzzz...........then got sec3 the kelvin find me for unknown motive........however nothing bad happen la.....whahahaha.....then my sec4 friends rush to find me and ask me that I got being beaten anot.....lol............sec5 liao......doesnt mean I easily to be pushed with.....
I do admit that it is my mistake to fight.........but partly is also on the opposite.......haizzzzzz....................................................
**what do one gain from a fight he won.......to me is nothing but hatred from the victim**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 11:21 PM on Friday, August 27, 2004
I was alone that time......that wont be their advantage anyway........so they thought they can bully me this sec5 student!!!Wahahahahaaha.....what a foolish thinking......anyway we quarrel...then one of them even say"I today dun want to fight with you...."
NA bei!!!......come la.....I one against u all 13 people also no problem......but came Norman and many other including my dear sister joan.........tiaozzz.....me set as a bad role model to her sia.....I feel so ashamed that time.............so in the end....I decided to left better to avoid this meaningless confrontation.........
I went to classroom only to find that Wei keat isnt there too.....so I went back to the canteen when the group of boys came down.....they stare at me too......but this tme they cheer .....I got see that they are cheering over the confrontation they had won.......then they sing and walk to the field........then some action in front of me..........well....then one of them come and sit opposite me....me politely ask him wat class but he say what.....I ask him thrice before I insult him in chinese u deaf arh?.....he immediately stand up and confront me.....lol......look like he not deaf yet.....anyway during the quarrel....his friends join in and then in a short matter of time......I was confronted in front of about 13 people.......so in the end......dunno who say one on one la.....but I said out loud....I one on u all....come la.....
however this time.....the sec4 and 5 people who know me gather around and pull me out of the spot trying to calm me down.........I was pull to the carpark when they still continue their stuff.....and finally the fight was sparked off by the same boy who insult me by saying to me that I today dun want to fight with you......well....he push me first.....it a act of violence......I was alrealy hoping mad for them to hit me first.....man.....had to wait for so long sia...I push that boy twice but someone suddenly grab me from the back....I knew that it must be wei keat this time.......the rest of the boys charge at me......I shoot out my fist and hit some of them hard ......they claim I hit them very hard......however I didnt really use all my force when somemore I am unable to move freely with someone trying to suppress me .........I managed to dodge all the fists they give in one time....then got one indian trying to land a punch on me.....but I step back easily even though wei keat grab me tightly.......after that I give him one of mine and hit his head..........cool.........I injured four of them..........just imagine I use my full force....anyway the fight was a short one.....haizzzz.....
Then the fight was disrupted by Miss sardina......then I realised that alot of people was watching the fight .....luckily I didnt injured by them......I wanted to see how much I had progress in my fighting tactic and skill sia...too bad that it happen in school........I called Hongming,Jasper,Jacob and Wei cong during the quarrel and only wei cong called was made successfully......I didnt call the rest cos I knew they wont be coming to school at such time........and my hp will blown if like that!!!
The fight was finally settled thank to OM......he didnt blame me at all......I feel so surprise......anyway both sides apologised to each other.....I felt relieved actually.........however during the 2nd confrontation......join in terence......he shout at me saying that sec5 mean can anyhow beat people arh.........dot..........althought it a fact that I confront kenneth however he isnt hurt by me at all...............he the one who started the problem.........and even involved me directly.................I fought with these kids mainly is to let them understand the conseqeuce they will never expect............they had to paid for their arrogant behaviour............this also applied to kenneth.........now I was caught red handed............tomorrow I knew that the other sec5 will say me one............they also got fight one lor..........although they will question me why not outside fight and why didnt call them................I wont escape from my guilt............what the different from fighting in school and outside??
They are more worst lor......police le............school teacher only..............haizzzz....I ended up had my hp confiscated and parent being informed...........I dunno wat to say .........however I swear that the sec5 people wont beat people anyhow.........we are entrusted with alot of things and we gain the most power in this school.............as a senior student....the worst crime is abusing authority.................since I break it today.........I had to pay for it my self..........haizzzzzz
**offend the unoffended start the seed of hatred and end in destruction**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 11:44 PM on Thursday, August 26, 2004
It rubbish!!!NONSENSE!!!DUn act like a victim when the mastermind is you yourself!That kenneth sure good in acting and giving excuse......why cant he just accept the reality....it a fact that many dislike him........do he need to have to make everyone hate him when it is a no return point???I do admit that it is my facult to use violent on a sec2..........mr Raja just told me.....I am a senior student and be a role model for the other.....not abuse the authority of it..............I understand what he mean.....however words alrealy cant be taken from him.......the only way to make him understand is by violent......I do know that many wont be happy.....me myself isnt happy too......why Do I need to waste my time and breath on him???I find him is to let him know that not the correct way of being a man.............and want to help him.......
Look like I have to check on all classes as soon as possible.......I make sure who the spreader.......haizzz.......why cant one understand that sometime downfall is a blessing in disguise???
Oh well.........if there next time......I guess he wont be lucky anymore.....cos I alrealy rally more people joining me in his case.......the more the merrier...hahazz.....but more people punch him la.......no more slap....lol.....punch is more painful than slap............I know he only sec2.......not mature la.....but age so young alrealy like that......so unacceptable......haizzzzz....
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 10:38 PM on Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Last time....the first time that he make me notice him is during the april.....I was toking with my mei mei joan......while chatting I saw him staring at me........even thoughI stare at him ......he continued to stare at me.......I wanted to confront him however I dun want to spoil the mood between my sister and me...so I stay low.....that night I check out who is he and wanted to beat him up the next day for no respect.......however my 5di roy told me that dun beat him.....cos they good friend.....so I decided to let the matter rest......
however this week.....one of my bro jereld told me about him again......complaining that kenneth slap him and alot of other negative incidents.......in order not to let him take the doom of himself....I told jereld to warn kenneth not to guai lan anymore.....however instead of listening to my warning....he taunted me....by telling him and some other "who is kaizhi??That extra guy arh???tell him come find me la.....as if I scare lor....".............This is enough of me to sit back......I wonder why he say me extra???
Last time dunno when...he and jasper almost get into fight......the thing which is very obvious is that kenneth can never win jasper.....in order not to let both parties hurtz....I quickly went to stopped the quarreling....I am helping him alrealy that time......I dun expect any good deed repay.........however this is how he TREAT me by backstabbing me!!!!
Another one of the reason is that he slap one of my bro jereld.........he started it first anyway.....and lastly is that the sec4 arent not happy lor......I dunno jasper will go find kenneth anot.....but if that happen......something good will happen.........I do like to see how badly he will be beaten for being too guai lan................
Not I hate him or what.....I slap him and confront him is mainly to make him fear me......I want him to know that with this kind of attuide.....he will be beaten by other in the society which is more worst..........he only sec2 and I know he can change into a better person.....he will need to learn from this lesson.....if he still doesnt......I dun know how to help him.........
Anyway someone just went to find dickson about this incident.....dun be idiotic lor......dickson is also one of me brother........dun try to make us quarrel over this lor........if I know who that curplrit I will break his shoulder!!!
No one is perfect....I do understand that.....however the problem is that.....this is not a excuse......if u think u got someone look after u then u can guai lan to other orh then it is a grave mistake to think of that........when u do that outside where help cant be given.......u will definitely reget...................I been through this thing before..........and that one of the reason to quit gang...................people wun accept your existance if u are that type who alway guai lan.......
Although I settled mine....however because I didnt call the sec4 to join in the talk........thus the sec4 problem still solve la...jasper and his problem not solve yet..........today is 2 on 1 maybe tomorrow is 15 on 1..........haizzzz......kenneth arh.....think maturely la........
**if one cannot learn from it lesson then history must repeat to let one submit**
.2nd-Hamsterlord dreamt at 11:15 PM on Monday, August 23, 2004